James had a problem; a big problem. He had always been obsessed with his looks. But this? This was too much.

It had all started about four months ago. Jo had just arrived at the Palm Woods, and Kendall seemed absolutely crazy about her from the second they met. James had been crushed. The night the two became official was the night that he threw all caution to the wind and got absolutely smashed. And the same thing happened the next night and the night after that. Soon all James did was drink, sleep, and record in the studio at Rocque Records.

But one day, about a month later, he took a look in the mirror. For the first time since he'd lost his baby fat, James felt incredibly unattractive. His abs had completely lost their definition and were replaced by what James saw as a layer of fat. Even though he had only gained about ten pounds, he ignored the facts and dropped his new drinking habit that very second. From then on, he stopped eating.

The four of them were sitting around the television with popcorn and empty cans of soda on the floor: the picture of a typical Saturday night for the Minnesota boys. Logan had forced them all to watch "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and was staring intently at the screen, occasionally tossing some popcorn into his mouth. Carlos and Kendall had laughed during almost every serious or intense moment of the movie. If they were trying to totally piss Logan off, it was working.

James was curled up on the couch, hugging his knees. This was his third day in a row of eating absolutely nothing. It was definitely catching up with him. He felt incredibly lightheaded, even just lounging on the couch.

Kendall was sneaking glances at James every so often. He was struck with the urge to protect his friend. James didn't look so good, and that was a clear indication that something was definitely wrong. Afterall, when did he ever not look gorgeous?

Although James didn't look well, Kendall was hesitant to say anything. James never liked to admit it when something was wrong, he hated feeling weak or letting people see him break down.

But when he started visibly shaking, Kendall decided that he had to do something. He let out a deep sigh and made quickly slid close to James on the couch. In return, the pretty boy scooted a bit toward him, close enough so that their knees were touching. Kendall felt a rush of excitement, and when James' hand just barely grazed his knee, he got chills. Feeling the need to be closer to the pretty boy, Kendall slipped an arm around his shoulders. He pulled James close and lightly rubbed at his shoulder.

Kendall had always been pretty attracted to James. He really didn't like to think about it. He knew that girls just didn't do it for him, so he threw himself into his singing and focused most of his energy on Big Time Rush. But being this close to James... he was getting an adrenaline rush.

Kendall drew in a sharp breath when he felt James' head on his chest. He felt eyes on him after a little while and looked down. James' gaze didn't have the sparkle it usually held, but Kendall was still struck with how perfect he was. They held eye contact for a little while, a smile tugging at Kendall's lips. James blushed and looked down. He bit his lip and Kendall felt a wave of adrenaline pass through him again.

"You okay?" he asked, nudging James a little bit. James hesitated, but eventually nodded. Kendall wasn't buying it. The guy was shaking. And on top of that, he had lost so much weight in the past couple of months. But Kendall decided not to press the issue. He knew it wouldn't help anything. James had too much pride to open up about it, especially when he seemed so vulnerable. Kendall cautiously ran a hand through James' hair. When there was no objection, he continued stroking soothingly at the soft locks. James hummed quietly in contentment. He was basking in the feeling of being touched, of somebody coddling him.

The two of them stayed like that for the rest of the movie, James occasionally running his fingers up and down Kendall's arm and to his neck. It seemed like every little touch from James gave Kendall goosebumps.

When the movie finally ended, Logan and Carlos stood up and stretched. Logan immediately began scolding Carlos for his constant laughter throughout the movie. They walked down the hallway together, arguing the whole way, and slipped into the room they shared.

Kendall awkwardly shifted on the couch, wondering what would happen next. James sat still for a few moments before he slowly pushed himself to his feet.

"Bed time," he mumbled, scratching his neck and dragging himself down the hall and into his and Kendall's room.

Kendall sighed loudly. How was James doing this to him? He was usually able to push these feelings away; the butterflies when James stood close to him, that surge of jealousy that came over him whenever he saw James flirting with some girl.

Kendall definitely had a weakness for the beautiful boy. He'd had it for years. James was always in the back of his mind. But just recently, Kendall had found himself absolutely mesmerized by him. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it.

Everybody woke up early the following morning to hang out at the pool. Carlos had cooked up some crazy scheme in an attempt to get attention, good or bad, from the Jennifers. Logan doubted how successful the plan would turn out and was going to join Carlos on his mission, with the soul purpose of proving him wrong.

As Kendall, Logan, and Carlos bustled around the suite, James lay in bed watching. He didn't have enough energy to so much as sit up in his bed. He was still running on empty; this was his fourth day without eating. He stared through half-lidded bloodshot eyes as Kendall pushed through the door to their room and started rummaging through one of the dressers.

"Dammit," Kendall muttered under his breath. James blinked at Kendall and watched him search every drawer thoroughly until he had finally decided that he couldn't find what he was looking for. He sighed loudly and then shouted, for the entire suite to hear, "James, what did you do with my plaid shirt?"

"Nothing," James croaked from the bed. Kendall whirled around, looking more than a little surprised. "It's hanging in your closet. Where I found it."

"Sorry, man. I didn't realize you were still in here," Kendall said. He took a few steps toward the bed and continued, "If I'd known that you were sleeping, I wouldn't have been so fucking loud."

"It's cool," James laughed weakly. He still felt completely drained, but what would it help if he just stayed in bed instead of going to the pool with the guys? It would only make them wonder. And assume. And neither of those would be very good. So he forced himself out of bed and pulled on swim trunks. He left on the shirt he'd slept in and grabbed some sunglasses, walking out the door right behind Kendall.

Carlos and Logan ran off as soon as they arrived at the pool area, eager to put their plan into action. Kendall wandered over to one of the plastic chairs and dropped his stuff to the side of it. He plopped down on the chair and smiled at James.

"You doing okay?" he asked. "You seemed a little sick last night."

"I guess I'm fine." James shrugged. "It's just… you're going to think it's so weird."

"James, you know I'd never judge you, right? I want to know what's going on. I care about you." Kendall leaned toward James and placed a hand on his arm. James took a deep breath.

"Okay, well… you're right. I was kind of sick last night. Still am. I feel like shit, man. And…"

"Kendall!" a flinty female voice interrupted. Both boys turned in the direction it was coming from, seeing Jo walk toward them. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" James' face fell. It was hard enough for him to open up, and it really made him upset that he had been about to, and she had interrupted. Kendall glanced at James, silently asking permission. James stared at the ground and nodded. His friend jumped to his feet and walked off with Jo without a second thought.

It's not that James was mad at Kendall. Sure, he was a little miffed because he had just left when James was finally about to open up. It made him feel unimportant. But what really got him was the fact that Kendall had left for Jo. He was crushed. James knew it was a little stupid. Who was he kidding? Kendall was straight. But last night had left him with a glimmer of hope. Kendall and Jo weren't a couple anymore. Nobody was standing in the way. But now Kendall's priorities, who he cared about more, had been made completely clear. Any hope James had was now shattered. Plus, what had Jo wanted to talk about? Couples got back together all the time. If there was something between the two again... James didn't know what he would do. It would absolutely break his heart.

He sighed heavily and leaned back in the plastic chair he was sitting in. He suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his stomach, and he curled up on the chair as discreetly as he possibly could. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed the pain away. He knew that it was only a matter of time until he had to eat—but when he did, it would probably make him sick because of how long he'd gone without eating. James finally decided that if he was going to eat, it would be better if he did it by himself so the guys wouldn't watch him. He slowly brought himself to his feet, hugging his arms around his stomach. He took slow and deliberate steps toward the door leading to the hotel lobby. James had never felt this sick before. He felt weaker with every step.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, James wondered why nobody seemed to notice how much he was struggling just to get to the lobby. It made him feel even more worthless than he already did. He obviously didn't matter as much as the guys let on if they cared more about girls and childish schemes than their friend's wellbeing.

After what seemed like hours of effort, James finally stumbled into apartment 2J. Kendall's mother was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. She glanced up upon hearing the door open.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Mrs. Knight said distractedly. James' heart sank. Not even the woman who was practically his second mother noticed that something was wrong.

"Morning," came his quiet reply. James went straight to Kendall's and his room. He pulled off his swim trunks and stepped into a pair of boxers, then hopped into bed. He couldn't eat just yet, not with Mrs. Knight there. So he just laid in bed. Eventually his eyes fluttered closed and he was about to fall asleep when Kendall burst through the bedroom door.

"James," he said, rushing to the bed James was in and sitting on the edge. "I'm sorry I didn't follow you up here right away. I had to say goodbye to Jo. But are you okay? I saw you leaving and you looked pretty sick."

"I was going to tell you before," James said quietly.

"I know, I'm really sorry about that. Jo had to ask me something." Kendall laid down on his back next to James and crossed his arms behind his head.

"What did she want to ask you?"

"Oh, she just wanted to know if I could help her practice for an audition. Since I have experience with Gustavo and everything," Kendall shrugged. James turned to look at him.

"That's all?" he asked. He couldn't hide his obvious grin.

"Yeah," Kendall smiled. He climbed under the covers with his friend. "But anyway, talk to me. Are you sick?"

"A little," came James' reply. He squirmed a bit when he realized that Kendall was under the covers in him, and he was wearing only his boxers on bottom. Despite being driven to open up about his problem earlier in the day, he shut himself up. Kendll frowned.

"Wasn't there something you were going to tell me about that earlier?"

"No," James lied. Kendall wasn't buying it. He moved closer to his friend and snuggled up to him slightly, grabbing one of his hands and intertwining their fingers. James gave him a sad smile and cradled Kendall's hand against his chest. Kendall couldn't deny how James made him feel. It scared him, a lot. But he couldn't lie to himself any longer. He definitely had feelings for the pretty boy. Strong feelings.

"Kendall," James said suddenly.

"Mmhm?" came the reply.

"Thank you for caring about me." He cuddled up even closer to Kendall and laid his head on his friend's chest like he had the night before.

"No problem," Kendall smiled. "And… do you want something to eat?" James hesitated, biting his lip. He'd done so well these past couple of days. Did he really want to ruin it because he didn't feel well? After all, some said that pain is simply weakness leaving the body. But what's the point of being thin if you're dead?

"Yeah," he said finally. Kendall nodded and gently pulled away. He stood up slowly and stretched, then headed for the kitchen.

"I'll be right there," James said. He hurriedly pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and raced to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. If he hadn't lost weight after fasting for almost four whole days, he was going to freak out. James grabbed the scale from under the sink and placed it in front of the mirror.

This was a moment that could make or break his whole week. Though he'd never really believed in a higher power, James prayed to God that he at least hadn't gained any weight. He took a few deep breaths before finally stepping on the scale.

James looked down: 132. He had lost 5 pounds.

"James, what are you doing?" Kendall called from the kitchen. James froze.

"Just… had to pee," he answered, scrambling to put away the scale and then joining Kendall in the kitchen. James watched him stirring something in a pot and moved to peer over his shoulder to see what it was. Elbow macaroni.

"Macaroni and cheese?" James asked, horrified.

"Yeah, is there a problem?" Kendall laughed. "You love mac and cheese."

"No, I just… I was just checking." James was at war here. He knew he had to eat something. He could get seriously sick if he didn't; what if he passed out? Then they'd take him to the hospital or something, and everybody would know his secret. But he'd just lost 5 pounds. Did he really want to undo all that progress by eating this? James wandered over to the kitchen table and plopped down at his designated spot.

Kendall finished stirring and poured some of the mac and cheese into a bowl before setting it on the table in front of his friend and sitting down next to him.

"Aren't you going to eat, too?" James demanded.

"Did you want me to?" Kendall asked cautiously. When a vigorous nod was the reply, he sighed and stood up from the table to pour some for himself. There was definitely something weird going on here. When he thought about it, he hadn't seen James eat in days. And now that he was eating, he was acting all skittish.

When Kendall sat back down next to James, he placed a hand on his friend's back and rubbed small circles. James' eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into Kendall.

"That feels good," he said quietly. Kendall smiled.

"You going to eat soon?" he asked. James made an incoherent whine and Kendall laughed to himself. "Okay, that's it. I'm feeding you."

He scooped up some macaroni and cheese with the spoon and brought it to James' mouth. "Open wide." James slowly opened his mouth and Kendall shoved the spoon in right away.

"Mmmph!"

"Eat it!" Kendall yelled jokingly. James finally relaxed and started eating a little bit. He allowed himself to eat half the bowl before standing up to get a glass of water.

"I'm done," he said quietly.

"Are you sure?" Kendall glanced down at the bowl. "There's a lot left."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well… at least you ate a little bit. Do you still feel sick?" he asked. James nodded slowly. "Maybe you should go lay down again." Kendall took James' half-empty bowl and his forgotten, heaping one up to the sink. He then walked over to James and slowly led him to the couch. "I'll put a movie on or something."

"Can you sit with me?" James asked quickly.

"Of course," Kendall smiled. "Now what do you want to watch?"

Just then, Carlos and Logan burst through the front door, Logan practically doubling over with laughter. Carlos was glaring at him.

"It's really not that funny," he grumbled.

"Are you kidding?" Logan howled, slapping Carlos on the back. "You're lucky to be alive right now!"

"Shut up!" Carlos stomped his foot and crossed his arms over his chest.

Kendall raised an eyebrow, amused. "What happened down there?"

"Carlos tried the absolute cheesiest pickup lines on the Jennifers... I guess he didn't know about their new boyfriends: 240 pound stunt doubles for some action movie."

Kendall guffawed, "How'd you get out of there without getting demolished, Carlitos?"

Carlos and Logan looked at Kendall, then back at each other. "Freight Train," they said in unison.

"But Carlos didn't get away without the stunt doubles using some..." Logan feigned a cough, "choice words."

James couldn't hold back his laughter any longer. His friends had some way of making him feel better when it seemed like nothing could. Kendall glanced over at James and was ecstatic to see him laughing and smiling. He sat down next to him on the couch and slung an arm around him. Logan looked at the two and raised an eyebrow at James' obvious flaming red cheeks. He drilled holes in Carlos with his eyes. Carlos narrowed his eyes at Logan, unable to figure out what his friend was trying to tell him. Logan shook his head and mouthed 'later.'

Kendall, apparently oblivious to being watched, leaned in closer to James and poked his perfect, sculpted nose. James casually placed a hand on his friend's knee and Kendall visibly shivered.

"We'll be right back," Logan said hurriedly as he pulled Carlos into the kitchen.

"What?" the shorter boy asked, confused.

"Didn't you see them in there? James was red in the face and Kendall was being all mushy... kind of like how he used to act with Jo? I mean, really. They're being all touchy-feely and James had his hand on Kendall's knee, and- " he shook his head. "Okay, I saw them cuddling last night during Planet of the Apes. Kendall was playing with James' hair and had his arm around him. I didn't want to assume anything, but now I'm thinking that there might be something going on here."

Carlos' big brown eyes were wide open and he stared at Logan in disbelief. "You're not trying to say that James and Kendall... that James likes... that Kendall's trying to..." he sputtered.

"Yes!" Logan urged, gripping both of Carlos' shoulders. "I mean, I don't want to jump to any conclusions. Sure, James is kind of feminine. Okay, really feminine. But the way he chases everything with a vagina... I never would have guessed that he's into guys at all. And Kendall... That'd be an even bigger shocker. He seemed so crazy about Jo. We had to practically drag him out of bed in the morning after they broke up."

"So maybe you are assuming too much," Carlos offered. "Barely anything happened. James seems sick lately, anyways. Maybe Kendall's just being a good friend."

"Yeah, a really good friend..." Logan scoffed. Carlos punched him lightly in the arm.

"Hey, these are our best friends, okay? We're not supposed to be judging them."

The taller boy sighed and looked to his feet. "Yeah, you're right. I kind of am assuming too much. Thanks for keeping me in line, buddy," he smiled. Carlos smiled back, but then his face got serious.

"Do I have permission to bring this up with Kendall?"

An excited smile creeped onto Logan's face. "Hell yes! You pry like you've never pried before, got it?"

"Definitely," Carlos grinned.