Author's Note: I considered 4x09 a break-up. It was an extremely easy break-up. Neither Emily nor Paige seems to care much about it. My take on the break-up. Reviews would be appreciated. Also I'll update my other story soon!
"3,000 miles is a long way. 4 years is a long time.. A lot can happen"
Silence.
Paige was right. A lot can happen. Anything can happen.
Flashback
"You and me in sweet Pari?"
"How about forever?"
The urge was messing with Emily. She toyed with the idea of leaning in and capturing those lips. But she resisted the temptation. Emily didn't want to ruin their friendship. But how could she keep those thoughts at bay when Ali's talking about Paris. The city of love. She's talking about forever. Emily didn't understand but her stomach was fluttering. She has never felt so happy, so high. Ali's feeding her a drug that is herself and Emily is enjoying the kinda high she felt.
"If I'm kissing you, it's because it's practice for the real thing"
And then she knows what it feels to come crashing down. Her heart sunk. Her eyes watery. She doesn't know why it's affecting her this way. She never reacted this way when Ben is being an asshole or is checking out another girl. She would get mad, walk away and ignore him for a few days. And then they'd make up and that's it. It wasn't a hurt kinda mad, it's more out of pride. She should have known. She never really cared about Ben that much. Or in that way. Or in any way. She just thought he was attractive. Her friends thought he was attractive. When he hits on her, she was flattered. Too young and too naïve to understand that her feelings wasn't one out of attraction but more of insecurity.
She doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to be the one to get left behind. But that's just it. She's getting left behind. By Paige. The one person she thought she could always count on to be there. To love her unconditionally. To always wait for her. Paige is leaving her behind and starting a whole new life, her dream life. 3,000 miles away. Far far away where girls would hit on her and flirt with her girlfriend. The thought made her nausea. Girls would want Paige in a way Rosewood girls didn't. How could she ever compete with a college girl? She's just Emily. Plain Emily. Boring and insecure. Stuck in Rosewood. She couldn't stand the thought of Paige eventually giving up on her to be with some college chick who's way hotter.
"We have to face facts; we're not going to be together next year"
Paige's sobs filled her ears. Ringing. The sounds she hated. The tears she caused. Guilt. Devastated. Heartbroken. Torn. It was too much. Emily was overwhelmed by what she just implied. She needed to get away. She needed air. Emily can't breathe. She feels like her world is falling apart, it's finally crumbling down. It's not the same as how she felt about Alison. Alison messed her. Paige, however, broke her completely. She needs this girl. She doesn't know how she could survive another heartbreak. She didn't know how she managed to fall in love again. She's broken. She's wrong. Everything wrong in life. Everything wrong for Paige. But she needs Paige. She needs Paige as much as she needs air.
Emily didn't realize she had been running. She was deep in a trail she didn't recognize. How did she get here? Hot tears were falling freely down her cheeks. Her lungs were screaming for air. She didn't know how long she had been running. But she did. And she can't see anything. She can't hear anything. The cabin is out of sight. The music has faded. Where was she? How did she get here? How will she find her way back?
It didn't matter.
She didn't want to go back.
She had broken up with Paige.
They aren't together more.
Paige isn't hers anymore.
She lost Paige.
She lost love.
She can't love.
And she stayed that way, hugging herself. She was lying on dirt but it didn't matter. Her arms hugged her legs as she cried. Exhausted. Emily doesn't want to move. She dare not move for she can't bear to break another piece of herself. She feared if she moves, her world would fall apart. But what she didn't understand was how could it hurt so bad if her world hasn't already fell apart?
"Em. Em, I'm here" she can't see. She didn't want to open her eyes. But Emily hears her voice and she clung to that. Whether it's real or sweet hallucination, she held on to that voice.