Disclaimer: (Original characters and/or storyline are not mine)

so here's my newest upload. i wrote this quite a while ago and didn't know what to do with it.
i guess i figured after a year plus, this particular story had waited long enough.
it's kind of about some what-if's in the jacob story boat.
there will be about six chapters.

SHRED OF HOPE: A JACOB MINI-SERIES

CHAPTER ONE

Human Band-Aid

She sat on the car seat that was used as a couch in my garage. I'd seen her sit on it many times before. The past few months she had taken shelter in my presence. Sometimes there would be a smile on her face and other times there was nothing. Today was neither of those. Today there were tears. Taking in a deep breath I walked closer to her and sat down on the imitation couch. She didn't even seem to notice my presence. I pulled my arm across her lap and took her hand in mine. Her skin was so cold, as if death had already taken her. I hated what he was doing to her. He was killing her and he wasn't even here. I didn't plan on giving up on her though.

"Bella, why are you crying?"

She turned her empty gaze to me. Somehow her emotionless eyes saw right through me. It was a stupid question. I know that now after I asked it. She was crying for her vampire. Her cold, dead lover. I pushed my thumb across her cheek to wipe her tears away. I hated to see her cry, especially for him.

"It's nothing". Her voice was below a whisper. It was like she didn't even have the breath to speak. Or maybe the will. I tightened my grip around her hand.

"Don't tell me that", I murmured.

She leaned her head against my chest. Her wet tears dampened my shirt and warmed against her skin. She was so cold. Putting my hands on her shoulders I lightly held her back. Her eyes grew wearier.

"Jacob?", she hesitantly questioned. I tried to force a smile.

"How about we try to work on the Rabbit?"

She took in a small breath and slumped back into herself. I'd never seen someone with the ability to shrink like her. She looked like she had fallen into herself, loosing all that was Bella. It was like a hole had formed in her core and she was trying to hold it closed. A tear started to pool at the corner of her eye.

"I don't really feel like it", she whispered.

I pulled her into a hug. If she was going to waste all her energy with holding herself together then I was going to help. I would be her human Band-Aid. After what seemed like an eternity I decided to speak up.

"Bella I don't like what he does to you"

She pulled her head back from my shoulder and forced her eyebrows together.

"Jake he-"

"No Bella. I don't like the way you are when you think about him"

Instantly hostility took over her face. She was mad.

"Maybe it's none of your business Jacob! Just bud out!", she exploded.

"Bella he's ripping you apart. If you could see yourself-"

"Shut up Jacob! You don't know anything about him!"

"I know that he left you like this!", I shouted.

Right after I said it I knew it was a low blow. She was in pain and I wasn't making it any better. Reminding her of his leaving just made things worse. At first it looked as if she was going to punch me, but then she cried out.

"He just hurt me so much", she helplessly admitted.

Quickly I rushed back to her side and caught her in another hug.

"I loved him Jacob. I really loved him". A tear slid from her eye and trailed down her cheek. "It's like a piece of me was taken". A second of silence passed as her tears slowly lessoned. "He stole a part of me"

I pulled her closer. Placing my chin on her head I took in a deep breath through my nose. She smelled good. I liked how she smelled. A weird feeling started to squirm within my chest. As if a small fire had erupted then faded out. A shiver shot it's way up my back and through my shoulders. Somehow she always had this effect on me. Just her scent could do it. Billy said it was just a crush, that it would pass. But I knew better. I loved her. I loved the girl destined to die. I knew once I figured it out that I'd never have her. She loved the vampire and everything else was eclipsed by that. I couldn't blame her though. If she felt even an ounce for him of what I felt for her then it just wouldn't matter. Love sucked like that. I rubbed my hand along her back in attempt to comfort her. Once her sobs lessoned I pulled my head away and kissed the top of her head. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but it happened. I'd kissed her. She peered her eyes up to meet mine with a confused expression. My lips formed a purse, not knowing what to say. It didn't matter though because she spoke first.

"What was that for?", she asked.

For a second I thought about telling her. Telling her that I was uncontrollably in love with her. That she drove me crazy whenever I thought about her. And that I never thought of anything or anyone but her. She had invaded my every thought. Instead I settled for something less.

"I don't know", I lied.

She didn't seem to accept this. Ripping her hand from mine she shifted her body an inch from me. A pained feeling that could only be described as gray fell in my stomach. Rejection shouldn't feel this bad. Yet with this simple move she had ripped my heart straight out of my chest and thrown it in my face. Instantly I felt a wound form inside myself. A whisper expelled from her lips.

"I think I should go"

Without thinking I grabbed her hand. She looked up at me, then back at her hand in mine. I veered my eyes to meet our connected hands. Such pale skin against mine made a glow. It was like snow and earth meeting just on the first day of winter. Then I noticed as her hand started to tremble. With worried eyes I lifted them back to meet her face.

"I'm sorry", I croaked.

Even though I didn't want to take my hand from hers, I knew I had to. She didn't want me, so why should I push it? So slowly I slid mine from her grip. Then a sudden surprise hit me. She had had a grip on my hand. It wasn't just me holding on! I searched through her eyes, looking for some shred of reason to this. Instead I found pain. She parted her small tear stained lips and spoke.

"Jacob…I love him". With furrowed eyes I took in a deep breath and forced myself to swallow the oxygen.

"I know", I agreed.

Right then I wanted to die. Right then I had known I had lost. If she could love him this much while he was gone, then what chance would I have when he wasn't? The gray in my stomach started to grow, giving me an uneasy feeling. My veins started to burn at my skin and my breathing caught a hitch. I didn't like this feeling. Love had a funny way of showing itself. Coated in pain.

…

That night Bella left. She didn't want to confront what had happened within the confides of my garage. If it had been a normal day we would have been friends sharing warm cokes by an old beat up Volkswagen. But it wasn't a normal day. That day something had changed in our friendship. Something had grown. Maybe love for me was friendship for her, but I like to believe otherwise. She had had a grip. She had been holding on to me like I was holding on to her. That day, I liked to think, was the day that she started to love me. It was also the day I first phased.