Disclaimer: It's not mine.
A/N: I know it's short. The point is that it is a small look into the minds of the characters.
People have asked me why I love you. What was it about you that attracted me? And at first it was hard to answer. But as I thought about it, I realized just how truly selfish I was. You made me feel human; I loved you for the way you made me feel. I had never truly lived before you came into my life.
You gave me so many new experiences. You made the way people looked at me change. You gave me hope. You made me step out of my bubble and actually live. You made all the little things I hated about myself seem…likeable. You gave me a sense of purpose. And I loved it. I loved the person I became when I was with you. Does that make me a bad person? I cannot tell. I cannot decide if this is something that just happens in love, or if I genuinely do not love you, just the way you make me feel. And if that is the case, then how am I to cope? I will, of course, leave. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved. But how do I separate the way you make me feel from the way I feel about you?
Funny thing is, I was human (technically) before I met you and I have been pleading with you to change that fact ever since. So how is it that you can give a human her humanity?
Edward looked up from the journal page to the sleeping form on the bed. He let out a resigned sigh, and softly kissed Bella's forehead. Although it would kill him to do it, he was going to leave her for her own good. The failed birthday attempt had made his mind up, and the unsure journal entry he had found under Bella's bed had given him strength. He was positive Bella would be able to forget about him if she was this unsure about how her love was. It was better this way.
Too bad he did not know then that the journal had been written months ago. Too bad he did not know then the effect his departure would have upon his fragile human love. Too bad he had not come back to her. If he had, Isabella Marie Swan would not have committed suicide by jumping off of a cliff. Isabella Marie Swan would not be gone forever.