Ignorance is not Innocence, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)
Summary: Sequel to Blissful Ignorance. Daniel is left reeling from a sad event, but as he and Sam try to come to terms with it, danger looms on the horizon from an ex who just can't let go. Set in the AU from Teal'c's dream in Changeling
Pairings: Sam/Daniel, Jack/Sara, Teal'c/Shau'nac, Jonas/Vala, Cam/OC, Melburn/Claire, a little bit of Daniel/Sarah
Rating: T
Category: Established Relationship
Genres: A/U, Action/Adventure, Drama, Friendship, Relationship, Romance, Sequel, Tragedy
A/N: thanks to Chas54 for asking about a sequel a while back. Apologies for the length of time it's taken... things have just been crazy. Title is from a Robert Browning quote: "Ignorance is not innocence but sin." I've tried to keep it consistent with the general ignorance theme of the last story as it's set in a universe where the Goa'uld never came to Earth.
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Daniel looked up at the trees which were slowly shedding their leaves. There were tears in his eyes but he didn't want anyone to know. He was the only male in the Ballard family now, and he felt that he had to be strong for everyone: for his mother, for his sister, for his aunts, and for Sam. But it was hard bearing the burden by himself. He was hurting as much as they were; hurting after losing Nick. They hadn't had the best of relationships, but in recent times, Daniel and he had managed to make their peace.
Nick had been ill for some time; they had expected this day to come, but it wasn't any less of a shock when he did leave them. Shock gave way to pain and to regret. Daniel sighed softly as he watched the leaves being caught up in a small breeze, and he thought of how trees symbolised humanity. Each year, trees lost their leaves, and each year, they grew more; a never-ending cycle of death and rebirth.
A tear rolled down Daniel's cheek as he felt himself crumble. His grandfather was dead. He'd never had a chance to tell him just how much he had changed him; just how he had made him a different person and made him remember who he really was. He'd never had a chance to say goodbye despite them all planning for the worst.
In his car, parked some distance away, Sam was seated in the passenger seat. With their infant daughter in her arms, she watched her husband grieve by himself. She didn't know what to do; what to say, except to leave him. In amongst the shockwaves surrounding Nick's passing, he hadn't had time to breathe, let alone to grieve. She knew that despite their years of arguments, Daniel loved his grandfather dearly. She sniffed and brushed away a tear as she remembered over a year previously when she had visited Nick one night and talked to him. She could still see those deep blue eyes, still sparkling despite the cloudiness of age.
Sam quickly dried her eyes when someone opened the back door of the car. She turned around to see Daniel's sister, Tessa, climb in and shut the door behind her. Sam asked, glancing through the window, "Where's Cam?"
Tessa leaned forward between the front seats, a wistful expression on her face. She said, "He's with Mom and Auntie Marie." She peered through the glass on Sam's side of the car, looking out at her brother in the distance. Tessa said with a sigh, "It's like he's lost himself." Her eyes still on her brother, she continued, "I miss him too... despite his cat hating tendencies, he was Opa."
Sam frowned, curious as she looked at Tessa. She asked, "Opa?"
An incredulous Tessa turned to look at Sam. She said, "You've been married to my brother for over a year and you don't know what Opa means? What has he been teaching you?" She shrugged. "I guess it's understandable; Danny only called him that when he was a kid. It's Dutch for Grandpa."
Sam slowly nodded, and said, bemused, "You know, Daniel has never really taught me much Dutch. I know that 'dag' means hi as well as bye... and 'Moeder' means Mom."
"Maybe he's saving up the teaching thing for when Maddie gets older."
Tessa smiled as she smoothed her niece's hair, the infant looking up at her with a toothy grin. Sam sighed as she looked out at Daniel once again. She said, "Maybe."
"Go to him."
Sam turned to Tessa, not sure she had heard her right. "What?"
"Go to him... otherwise we'll be waiting 'til Maddie goes to college. Granted, being a Jackson, she'll be there in half the time, but still, you know, I don't wanna grow old in this car."
Sam glanced down at her daughter and then said, "What about Mom or you?" She shrugged a little, looking helpless. "Nick's your Grandpa too. You should go."
Tessa appeared momentarily awkward. She then said, looking sad, "Nope, you should go. If it wasn't for you, he and Danny would never have been on speaking terms this past year. You helped them both." Tessa then smiled as picked up her niece. "Come on, give me the little Oma."
Sam passed Maddie to Tessa, who proceeded to coo over the youngster. Sam asked, curious, "Oma? That means 'Grandma', right?"
Tessa remarked cheekily, "You're picking the lingo up fast." Tessa turned serious and said, "Go on, he needs you."
Sam turned to look at her sister-in-law and her daughter. She smiled briefly to see the little girl infatuated by her aunt's necklace. Sam then opened the door and stepped out into the autumn breeze. She nodded at Cam, who was wearing Air Force dress blues instead of the black suits that the rest of the men had come in. She then walked around the car and across the grass towards Daniel.
Daniel flinched in surprise when she reached him, and he hesitantly met her gaze. Sam looked up at him, tears in her own eyes on seeing his grief in full view. She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze as she held it. His gaze turned back to the trees, and she spoke to him, albeit a touch hoarsely. She said,
"Daniel, it's okay to grieve. He was your Grandpa. It's okay."
He replied to her, his voice sounding as though his airways were congested. He said, "I didn't know it would hurt this much." He sniffed and looked at Sam again. "My Opa's dead."
Torn by his grief, she hugged him. He held onto her tightly as though he was making sure that she was still there. For a long moment, they remained like that as he tried to steady himself, finding dry land. As they heard car engines starting, he let her go, and she reached up to straighten his glasses. She glanced back at his car to see Cam now in the back-seat with Tessa as they played with Maddie. She reached for his hand again, and they walked back to the car.
He allowed himself to smile a little as he felt her hand hold his, feeling as though it was anchoring him in the raging tempest of his grief. He was grateful but, for once, he couldn't quite put his feelings into words. Instead, he waited until they reached the car.
Sam let go of his hand and rubbed his shoulder affectionately. She was about to go back to her side of the car when he said her name. She looked at him, concerned, and he kissed her. He then said to her, a glowing smile on his face,
"Thanks."
She smiled, her cheeks flushed as she went back to her side of the car. Ignoring the loud protests from Tessa, she looked over the roof at Daniel. They turned to see the last of the Ballard and Jackson cars leaving. They waved as the drivers of some of the departing cars beeped their horns. They then looked back at one another, and Sam appeared concerned again. She said,
"You sure you're okay? I'm sure Mom would understand if you gave it a miss."
Daniel was about to reply when Tessa wound down the window in the back-seat. Daniel's sister then said, annoyed, "Hey! You've already taken long enough... and no, Mom isn't gonna forgive you."
Daniel rolled his eyes and cocked his head to one side. He said in reply to his sister, "Butt out, Tess." His expression softened as he looked at Sam, and he said, "I'm fine... and Tess is right. Mom would kill me."
Sam watched him for a moment before they both got into the car. Daniel looked back to see Maddie strapped into her car seat, in between Cam and Tessa. He smiled at his daughter as she chewed on her fist, and then he started the engine.
He turned again to look through the back window. He was about to reverse out when he felt Sam's hand on his thigh. Smiling slightly at that, he continued, before turning and following the route the other cars had taken. Cam remarked with a smirk,
"Careful, Sam, the boy's gotta drive."