At first, this was going to be a one shot. But it's going to be too long so now I'm going to do 5 chapters.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, apart from some of the humor and plot...wait, there is no plot. Oh well...

A list, (complete with comments from the Marauders) of...

10 Things you should NOT do at Hogwarts.

By Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs-AKA The Marauders.

1. Do NOT charm first years to turn into hippos every time they say the word 'big'.

Haha Moony, I remember that! Back in fourth year...poor little Ellie was never the same again, 'coz the charm didn't really wear off did it Prongs?

Why are you all looking at me? It's not my fault that Lily Flower walked past at the exact time and I didn't finish the charm!

Yeah, sure. You couldn't stop asking her out every day!

So? I got her in the end!

Hmm...after 6 years of chasing after her.

So? She was just playing hard to get. She's always loved me!

Snorts Yeah, sure.

You're one to talk Pads! You've liked Mary McDonald for 3 years now, ever since that day in fourth year.

...No I haven't...

You have Pads...

Well...well...she doesn't like me! She thinks I'm a player, and that I sleep with a new girl every week!

Yeah, well you do don't you?

Wormy? Where did you come from?

Oh...I had to do some stuff...

Hmmm...really?

Y-yeah.

Hello? We were talking about me!

No...we were talking about Mary.

Nuh uhh!

Yeah uhh!

Nuh uhh!

Yeah uhh!

Nuh uhh!

Yeah uhh!

Yeah uhh!

Nuh uh- HEYY!

Umm...hello? We aren't talking about either .

What are we talking 'bout then Moony?

We were doing the list, remember?

Ohhh! Yeah...your go Prongs.

Huh?

Sigh It's your go, what should the next generation of students NOT do when they get to Hogwarts?

Oh, right. I knew that.

2. When you go to Hogwarts, try NOT to hang your enemy upside down, when it happens that your enemy is good friends with the girl you love, and have loved for years and years and years and years, and you will always love her no matter how much she slaps you when you do something bad, like hexing a second year for saying that her hair looks like a fire engine, although it does but in a really nice way, it reminds me of a tomato, and I love tomatoes, I could eat them all day and all night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next-

STOP! STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP! We get it already! You love Lily, always have and always will!

Yes! Exactly! But why did you stop me Moony? I was gonna go on to say the her eyes are the colour of a fresh pickled toad, and toads are...nice...I guess.

Yeah, but Mary's eyes are better. They are electric blue, they send shocks through my body, even when she's glaring daggers at me, which is most of the time. But when she's relaxed, and smiles, her eyes are like the Pacific ocean. They are deep blue, and are so calming and I want to look in her eyes all day and all night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next day and all the next night and all the next day and all the next day and FOREVER! But when she is excited, her eyes go bright turquoise! And did you know that they are my favourite colours! Electric blue, deep calm blue and bright turquoise...sigh

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...What?

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Did I say something wrong? Moony? What's happening?

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Haha! So...did you like it? If you did, please review. I'm actually supposed to be in bed, I'm sick so I stayed home from school. But, I had this idea and I quickly typed this up. I might update it again in a couple of hours, after some rest.

Please review! It will make me feel better! (And you get cyber cookies.) :)

Amber