Disclaimer: I stake no claim on this series. The views expressed within are fictional and are not to be taken seriously.
Do you know how much I love you? On day's like this all I can think of are your laugh, your smile, your eyes… Oh, your eyes! Every time I see them I get lost. I lose all the self respect and dignity I've built up from our last encounter and fall in love again. Your entire being is etched into your eyes. Pain, love, sadness, joy… Everything that you feel, everything that you are lies in those too blue depths.
Every time you look at her, I could choke on the happiness painted on your face. Every time you look at him you get that goofy look on your face. Your smile crooks just a little to the right, and your eyes sparkle just a little more. And every time you look at me… well, it's heartbreaking. You smile as if I'm your closest friend. You give me that beautiful smile and I'm sickened because it just isn't enough! It's never enough!
I want to see your eyes clouded over with lust. I want to see your half lidded eyes, fluttering in ecstasy as you reach your peak. I want to see your expression change and your body writhe as I stroke and caress your sun-kissed body. I want to hear you sigh and moan and scream my name. Don't you understand? I want you! I've always accepted you! I've never ignored you, never said that you weren't good enough, never been anything but kind.
He hurts you. He makes you bleed, makes you cry. He doesn't know you cry, only I do. He hasn't known you as long as I have, he hasn't loved you as long as I have and damnit!
He's mocking me now. He knows I'm here, he knows I love you, and just because, he puts his arm around you and leans in and whispers in your ear in a way that I never could but have always fantasized about and he's doing it all because he can! He's glancing over here now. Feeling bad for the poor hopeless shy girl? I don't want to see that possession in your eyes. I don't want that emotion, that almost pity.
You're eyes sparkle and you give him a smile that is almost as heartbreaking as the one you give me. I can't hate him for loving you. You love him. If you love him, there must be some redeeming quality that I missed. I'm not capable of hating anything that you love. He leads you away by the hand. That smile is still on your face, and if it's possible, it's even brighter than before.
So I'll just stand here unnoticed in the corner and watch. I'll wait here for the next time you run to me, needing someone to unload your problems on. I'll stammer out some words that will somehow help, and will receive that heartbreaking smile from you. No, it won't ever be enough, but it will just have to do.