Rin gathered what courage she could and walked over to her twin brother's locker, holding a heart-shaped box of chocolates behind her back. Her heart beat faster and faster as he closed his locker door and looked to his left, spotting her.

"Er, what's up, sis?" he asked, eying her warily.

Knowing what a pervert her brother was – at least in her mind – Rin leaned forward and bent over slightly, trying to expose her (almost nonexistent) cleavage. "Len-nii-chan~ I-I've always wanted to…Um, I mean, that is…I-I-I-I…"

The blonde boy cocked and eyebrow. "Are you sick or something? Need to go to the infirmary?"

"Uwaa! Len-nii-chan is so baka!" wailed his twin sister, flailing around like a panicked duck. She threw the box of chocolates at him and continued with her tirade, "Can't you see I'm confessing here?! J-J-J-Just being around you makes my kokoro go doki-doki!"

"Why are you talking like that?" Len cut in, frowning. "Maybe we should take you to see the nurse…"

Rin stopped spazzing. "Really? D-D-Does that me you aishiteru me, then? I knew it! I always knew we were meant to be and – "

"Whoa! I didn't say anything like that!" Her twin backed into his locker as she drew closer, practically on top of him. He didn't have the heart to throw her off or tell her get lost; she was easily affected by rejection. "Come off it, Sis. People are watching…"

"Kissushiteru! Chuu!" Rin leaned heavily on her brother's front and puckered her sparkly, glossy lips. Her eyes fluttered open when she realized that he wasn't taking any cues. "Nii-chan, kiss me!"

"God Almighty, she needs a breath mint…" thought Len with a grimace, craning his head away from hers. "You're my sister! I can't kiss you like that!"

Instead of whining and throwing a fan girl hissy fit like she usually did, Rin grabbed her brother by the shirt. "You're gonna chuu me whether you wanna or not! I'm the story's heroine, and that means I always get the guy that I want! Now pucker up, pretty boy~"

"Hands off of my boyfriend, bitch."

Rin felt a hand on her shoulder and glanced behind her. A dramatic gasp escaped her, "Piko!"

"Thank God…" muttered Len, trying to free his shirt from Rin's iron grasp.

"Nii-chan, what is the meaning of this?! You're supposed to be a saucy playboy who's fucked every girl in the school, including faculty members!" shrieked the blonde banshee, slamming her brother against the locker. "Y-Y-You can't be dating another guy…Right? Deshou? Ne?"

Piko finally grabbed her blouse and pried her away from Len, who was still too stunned to move. "What do you think this is? A fan fiction or something? Get real," he scoffed and moved between them. "Len and I have been dating for two years now. He's told you a hundred times, but you just won't listen."

"HE'S MINE!" roared the hormonal school girl, tackling Piko full throttle to the ground. She pulled Piko's hair, bit his arm, and swiped at his face with her perfectly manicured nails. "I love Len-nii-chan more than anyone! A baka like you doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as he and I! DIE!"

Len picked her up by the seat of her short shorts and threw her off of Piko at last, seething with anger. "So I like another guy?! Big deal! You have no right to attack Piko just because of that!" Tears formed in Rin's eyes but he pushed past his brotherly instincts and added, "You're my sister, and that's all you'll ever be! Stop acting like a spoiled brat and accept the facts!"

"NO, NO, NO! This isn't how the story ends!" screamed Rin, jumping up and down. "I'm supposed to end up with you! We've been in love with each other since birth! Author-chan said so!"

Grabbing Len's hand and standing, Piko huffed, "Len and I are together. Grow up and get over it."

"I-I-I-I…" Rin turned her head towards the window, sniffling. "I can't live without your kokoro, Len-nii-chan! I'll commit suicide if you don't say you aishiteru me!"

"Sis, please…Just stop," Len pleaded with her, sighing after.

"Oh, you'll be committed all right…" Piko mumbled, pulling out his cell phone.

Thirty days have passed since the men in white coats came for the overhyped bro-con. Len and his devoted boyfriend, Piko, are finally able to enjoy their time together and a healthy relationship. Rin, on the other hand, keeps screaming about how much she loves her brother, wants to rape him in a small enclosed space like a closet, and that everything she 'wants' to do is because of an invisible entity named 'Author-chan.'

So remember, Author-chan, next time you try to write a Rin/Len story, try to make it believable. Think outside of the box. We've all read the same story over and over again: Playboy/Pervert Len hits on Nerdy Rin, cheats on her, and wins her forgiveness in the end. Or some variation of that.

Here's to originality~

Notes: This is a parody. I wrote in Japanese and English to demonstrate how silly other authors look when doing this. ;)