Author's Notes:
I am working on TLJ, I promise! Within the month of January, I have made it my goal to get at least three chapters out for those waiting for it. Please be patient.
This is the third in the set about the manga Shitennou and a very serious plight of theirs. You will really need to read them in order, so I'll list them here:
BBMH (Bring Back My Happiness)
BAS (Body and Soul)
DiD (Days in Desire)
Days in Desire
By
PsychicDreams
The silence is so thick in the room that if I took Kunzite's sword, it would cut it clean through.
I can't help but stare at that picture, watch it to make sure of what I saw. It's not possible! It can't be possible! Can it? Can it be possible that my wildest dreams have come true? Can it be possible that I'm real?
Jadeite slowly reaches for the picture frame, his hand shaking so badly I think he'll drop it when he holds it. No…if he holds it. I must not allow my hope to get the better of me. It is better to be cynical about this than to hope and be crushed if it turns out that our eyes deceive us.
Though it is shaking like a leaf in a strong wind, Jadeite is holding the picture in his hand. His blue eyes, when they touch with my brown, are filled with wonder, shock, excitement, and above all, hope.
Zoisite cheers. "We're real!"
"But for how long?" whispers Kunzite.
That checks our youngest member and he stops his small victory dance.
I am drawn to Jadeite. My curiosity is such that I can't help but stare at him. He dropped the picture to floor and is standing in the middle of the room, facing the door. From his expression, he is prepared to stand there all day.
"Jadeite?"
"Yes, Nephrite?"
His voice is calm, as if there was nothing more interesting for me to ask about than the wind that blows outside. It makes me wonder if perhaps the hope that he has managed to somehow knock around his common sense, or perhaps…sanity.
"Why are you standing in the middle of the room, staring at the door?"
He looks at me with his unreadable blue eyes and says nothing. After a moment, he turns back to staring at the door.
My sigh goes unnoticed.
From just one glance, I can worry anew about Kunzite. I'm not entirely sure if the significance of knocking the picture over has settled in yet. But if it has, it seems our leading Shitennou is determined to mire himself in problems even in our most likely temporary miracle.
I reach his side and whisper, hoping to get my message through to more than his ears, "Do not dwell. We have a miracle on our now real hands, one that is most likely temporary. Don't let yourself get bogged down in worry now; let yourself enjoy however long we have like this."
His pale green eyes, so very different from Zoisite's, are all too eager to follow my words. They take my advice to heart when I give it. I assume they think that my advice is words from the stars, and with the relief from their problems, I don't have the heart to tell them that it is just my advice. I have long ago learned that the stars only answer to the most important of questions. Important to the universe, not to our lives. Not to the stars most faithful servant, second only to my faith and love in Endymion. It sometimes makes me angry that they do not rank our plight as high as the plights of others, but there is nothing I can do. The stars speak to me; we do not hold conversations.
"Don't the stars say something about how long this'll last, Nephrite?"
Again Zoisite's inexperience is speaking for him, but I can't help but smile. He's out of his depth when it comes to most of the things that we like, but what he does know, what only he can do, he does it better than any of us. His concentration to detail amazes me still.
I shake my head, whether at my thoughts or at him, I am not sure. "They said nothing, nor hinted that something would happen this night."
It amazes me still further, when I think of my friends. Jadeite, his deep feelings only second to Kunzite and the way he has to simply…get us laughing when he doesn't even try. Some of the strangest things he does…
Zoisite, of course…he hasn't learned quite as well to control his emotions, but it is because of that…it because he hasn't learned it that it gives such a refreshing wind when we're together. The air around us is always different when we're altogether.
And Kunzite. There is a reason he leads us. He can think in even the most tragic of times, as much to my regret when I think about Jadeite's death at the hands of Sailor Mars and how calmly he would stand in the corner of that Dark Kingdom room, where I could barely glimpse him. He wasn't supposed to be there, I suppose, but then I begin to wonder about my companion.
Was he always like that, seemingly uncaring about his companions' deaths or was that a tool or byproduct of Beryl's…work?
No, I do not believe Kunzite was always like that. He certainly isn't now. All he ever thinks about is us and Endymion. And all that thought is worry, which in turn makes me worry about him. I do not even think he notices the concerned glances of his friends.
"When is Endymion coming home?"
I start at Jadeite's rather irate tone. It was so silent that I had forgotten they were there.
"I hope the reason he's late has nothing to do with injury," murmurs Zoisite.
Kunzite nods in agreement, slowly picking up the picture frame and setting it back where it originally was. I catch a glimpse of Endymion, of Mamoru, as it passes me by.
I remember a time, back in the Silver Millennium, when he only looked that happy or smiled like that…when he was with us. Too many people were always trying to get on his 'royal' good side to be friends. It is perhaps the reason we are such good friends? No, I can't believe that. I can't believe that he only seeked solace in us to avoid them. We were friends forever, until our…betrayal. And even when the worst was happening, he still sought to reason with us, his friends.
Despite my jealously and my selfish wish of wanting him to only smile like that while with us, a wish I am most desperate to stamp out fully and forever, I am happy. I am happy for him and because of him. My Prince's happiness is all that ever really mattered to me besides the stars, and if given a choice, though it would be hard, I would abandon the stars for my dear Endymion.
Zoisite catches my attention. He is going around the room and…touching things. Perhaps to reassure himself that he is real, if only temporary. I have no doubt that it is temporary, such as we deserve nothing permanent after the betrayal that we have done. And through it all, Endymion has forgiven us our betrayal. I have watched him and believe his sincere forgiveness. There is no manner in him of one who still holds resentment. To him, we are as clean as a newborn.
If only I could be clean.
The betrayal of the man that I love for all eternity haunts me still, in my 'waking' hours and when I 'sleep'. There is no worse punishment to be near my loved one and not be able to touch him, react with him like…like I was real. And it is a punishment I deserve for falling into Beryl's trap. I think it is a good thing that she is dead and gone by Serenity. If she were before me, I would strangle her with my bare hands. It is the least she deserves, to die a slow and aware death.
I share Zoisite's impulse and can no longer hold out against it as I run my fingers over the back of dark green sofa. Oh, to be real! It is something I never imagined could feel this good and that feeling only intensifies when I think about Endymion. I just hope he comes home while our temporary miracle is still in effect.
"Where is he?"
I can't help it; I laugh at Jadeite's even more irate voice.
They stare at me in wonder and perhaps worry. One glance in their eyes and I know that they think I've gone crazy. It only makes me laugh harder.
"We sound like old mother hens! 'Where is he' indeed!"
Obviously seeing what I've just realized, they laugh with me. It is a good feeling, something that I haven't done in a very long time. My lungs and chest move as I gasp in for air, all the while laughing as if I can never stop. I forgot what it felt like to laugh; I almost forgot how to do it.
"You're right, Nephrite. We do sound like old mother hens!"
Zoisite's statement only sets us laughing harder.
Kunzite straightens, though only to fall against the wall as the merriment shakes every inch of his body. "Must…stop…laughing…"
I fall onto my knees at that broken up statement.
Just before the laughing can get hysterical, the four of us manage to calm down. Getting off my knees is a trial though, and I must keep my thoughts on serious matters. Anything that can even make me smile is a danger to start me laughing again and I don't want Endymion to think we've lost our minds when he comes home.
Kunzite, Zoisite, and Jadeite all still have smiles on their faces and it is only now that I realize how close we were to a dangerous depression. If it had gotten any worse, we might have given in to the sleep that those stones beckon to us.
Oh, my Endymion, where are you? Why can't you be here? I want to show you what I can do; I want to show you that I can hold you! I…want you to see us, as I know it is your deepest and most profound wish to have us real again too.
The lock clicks.
All hold bated breath, myself included, and I can't stop that building of excitement. At the very least, I am glad I am not twitching with the effort of holding it in.
The doorknob twists.
My heart is pounding so hard that it feels as if it is trying to break my ribs. Kunzite looks as if he fares no better than I. Zoisite's muscles are moving under the fabric of his uniform and his legs jerk ever so slightly, as if he is fighting the urge to run to the door and yank it open. Jadeite is…Jadeite is the calmest and is staring at the door with a single-minded intensity that sometimes scares even I.
The blood is rushing to my head faster than I could ever imagine blood could go. My breathing is sped up and can hardly get the oxygen into my lungs. Oh, Prince, wait until you see me! When you see us!
Endymion stumbles tiredly in.
End Days in Desire.
Well the third in the four part saga of my Shitennou series. What'd you think? Was it good?
TLJ is being worked on and HoE is in the planning stages. Just be patient a little more, please!