A/N - So I've been re-watching Season 5, and I have to say I kind of feel bad for Lindsay. I mean, Peyton was pretty horrible to her and the girl didn't do anything except fall in love. Anyway, here is a really short one shot. It's Lindsay's thoughts in the moments during and after Lucas said 'I Do'. Lindsay's POV. Lucas/Lindsay, mentions of Leyton.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Please review! I'd love to hear what you think about the story, your thoughts on Lindsay. What you thought about her? Did you like her? Not like her? Why?
Enjoy!!
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I've gotten good at pretending.
I pretend not to notice when you murmur her name against my skin. Instead, I hold on to you tighter and pretend it never happened.
I pretend that it doesn't break my heart every time you defend her… or run to her rescue… or every time I find you with her. You say that you love me but I know that your heart is still with her. How much longer can we live like this? She had her chance and she let you walk away! So why does she still own your heart?
When you asked me to marry you, it was the happiest I had ever been. But I knew the truth. I knew that deep down you wished you were putting that ring on Peyton's finger. But I loved you, so I went back to pretending… pretending that you meant the words you were saying to me. Pretending that if I loved you enough eventually you would.
I tried so hard to be the woman you wanted me to be… to be Peyton. But I've realized now that no matter what I do, I'll never be her. You'll never love me the way you love her.
She haunts you. You won't admit but I know she does. Your love story started in the halls of Tree Hill High, the place where you spend most of your days so how can she not. We don't have that history, we never will. How can we when we're living a town where every corner holds a reminder of the epic love that is Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer. And again we pretend. You pretend it doesn't matter and I pretend I believe you.
All of this pretending has gotten us here. We're standing at the front of a church and you just said I do. Peyton thinks I won. I didn't. I never will. I could say 'I do' and become your wife. I could take your name and build us a home and I could pretend. But that's all it would be. Pretend. You'd pretend not to love her. I'd pretend not to see the lingering looks you give her. Well, I'm tired of pretending. So I'm going to do what you can't. I'm going walk away. The saddest part is, even after I leave we'll both still be pretending. You'll pretend that you miss me. I'll pretend that there isn't a tiny part of me that wishes you would stop me.