This is a 100% crack that features some small spoilers and has far from a decent plot. Character acts heavly out of character and must shipping is screwed.

This is just parady on the final acting and no i dont owe golden sun and wont make any money for it.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The Mars lighthouse disaster

The creepy evil rock the wise ass diseapered when he tapped his sandels together three times. Laghuing all evil

A Great three headed dragon appered in front of the hole, Its power full roars sounded something like.

"ohh shit its that red haired guy that used to eat all our cookies. lets kill him"

"You aint killing garet." Yelled Sheba to the dragon," hes to good looking." Felix gave her an angry lock and Ivan began to cry

The second head said something like: "Look its Isaac, thats my son i cant kill him"

"Of course you cant." Yelled isaac at the dragon. He knowed that i thought his to awesome to kill.

"Hey we already killed a two headed dragon. How much matter does a head less make." said Garet

I dont care how many heads it has.... Wait Garet two is one head less then three exclaimed Mia. Not suprised that Garet couldnt count.

The third head roared. "My name is Jennas mother im the protector of cookies and the bringer of milk. If you want my cookies we must fight"

"Then we shall" sceamed Jenna. Angery that a dragon belived it was her mother.

Some seconds later Kraden woke up sleeping and said something about werewolves asses

Doom Dragon appear.

Felix makes start the fight with a Sol blade unleash. He jumps in the air hit the stone. As he approch the dragon from the air, it suddenly moves leaving the big hole open for Felix to land in. Felix desperatly got a grip on the edge, At the same time Isaac got hit by cruel ruin in the first phese and landed next to the hole. He then saw Felix fighting for his life at the edge.

...... said Felix ( I cant hold on longer)

what? asked Isaac

???? said Felix (you forgot you stole my togue on venus lighthouse)

Hey heres the Sol blade. Said Isaac happily as he picked it up and run back to the battle.

Why??? Screamed Felix as he felled into the hole.

The battle wasnt going good. Mia and Jenna was spaming cool aura and wish, to keep Sheba and Ivan up. Piers was knocked out every turn by Doom Dragon.

Garet was reabetably hitting Doom Dragon with his short sword. Ivan and Sheba was busy looking for Shebas home from the top of the lighthouse. (Unawere of the damge and healing they took.)

Isaac joined the intensive healing on Ivan and Sheba. It looked quite bad as they used their fifth psyenergy star to keep Mia/Jenna and Isaacs PP up.

Then suddenly the Beacon began to rise. Kraden who had tryed to lift Isaacs gaia blade the entire fight, raised up and said. "Lets run down before Garet kills the first head and makes it more powerfull somehow."

"Yay first head down" yelled Garet happily at the same time. Issac facedpalm as Doom dragon began to cast Cruel ruin.

Everyone started to ran for the elevator expect Garet who now was hitting the dragon with shaman rod.

Piers was fast to grab and throw Kraden over to the elevator. Then Mia got to the elevator and Kraden quickly pulled the lever. Leaving everyone stuck on the top of the lighthouse.

Jenna paniced and jumped the lighthouse to avoid the attack. The spell hit Ivan, Sheba, Garet, Piers and Isaac. It was only blood and blonde hair left of Sheba and Ivan. Garet was barely injured by the hit but the shaman rod was shatterd by the impact. Isaac used Granite to protect himself (but no one else). Piers had dodged the attack by simpely jumping over it.

"Jenna!!!" screamed Isaac and jumped the lighthouse. Somehow the Doom dragon was gone and Garet walked around planlessly on the top of the lighthouse. Then suddnly he felt something touching his leg.

"Ahhh get louse of my leg". He screamed as he felt a cold hand touch his leg.

"Garet get a grip on yourself!" Screamed Isaac while falling of the lighthouse. to awesome to panic or die

"Im serious get away from my leg" He said again.

Then a creepy voice said. "But i only want to play with your little thing." Garet turned around and was hit by a huge iceblock.

At the the same time a bit away from the lighthouse Kraden and Mia watched the beacon rise.

"whoo its wonderfull" said Mia

"Not as beutifull as you my darling" replied Kraden.

"Ohoo Kraden." Said Mia and they began to make out.

At the same time at the exact same place

"Im gonna throw up". Said Jenna and so she did. She however didnt notice that she was dropping her vomit right on Isaac. Destroying all of his expensive shirts.

After some time of throwing up Jenna realised the loving couple was looking at her. Isaac stood up and said to her. "Your vomit tastes good Jenna."

"Ohhh Isaac said Mia I found a true gentle man to be with, not like you and Garet." Isaac saw the sitoution and throwed up at Jenna

Then Jenna said the most rommantic thing Isaac could have heard. "Your vomit thats like shit!" And they began to make out.

At the same time at Jupiter lighthouse.

Hama stood waiting for something to happen. About 20 hours later she was stil waiting.

"ohh. They must have lighten the last lighthouse." she said. "Crap that means Ivan wants to come here and become a family." She pulled out a gun and shot herself.

20 hours before the suicide at Venus lighthouse

A fat mayor stood on an crossed marked spot "That stupid rock told me in a dream, that if i lay here i would unlock the sacred gold coin in the mayor of Madras wifes room."

He was hit by two small skinny people falling from above right in his stomach. It was a Proxian man and a Proxian dragdresser.

"So we two survied in the end after all." said the man. looking a little shocked

"Yeah falling down that hole for months and have the luck to land on a pillow." said the dragdresser. mirroring his ruined face on the stone.

"Im no Pillow" said the mayor.

"hmmm im starving." Said the man. "hank god its not a pillow, but a pig. said The mysterious man and put the Alfharan mayor on fire."

Then both of them enyoyed a very tasty dinner.

Later at Prox.

"Now where did the evil man touch you? Pulle asked Garet and hold up a litlle child doll. Garet sat in a chair and sobbed highly, the Prox elder sat next to him looking concernd

"Here and here ohh even there he pointed out on the doll." Then he started to cry and asked "im going to Hell aint i?"

The Prox elder got a flash back of Menardi when he was just a little boy, and said "well we keep a look out for that man. how does he look?"

"Well first he had blue hair and alot of muscles". Garet said. Through none was listening. Pulle had called the Proxian pedofil busters and the elder was looking at the floor, still in a flash back.

Garet keept talking but no one was listning.

Then suddenly Karst and Agatio burst into the both dressed in uniforms that said Proxian pedofil busters.

"Thanks for comming so soon Heroes" said Pulle. "This pedofil name is Piers and hes staying at the inn, go and execute him at the spot."

"no one will ever dare to touch you again he said to Garet." said Pulle Garet as he lead Garet into a house guarded by Dullaham and Sentinel. Garet was throwed into a room with bars. By the door Star magican stood and waited for any possible pedofil.

Five minutes later at the inn

Piers lay sleeping in his bed with a satisfied smile. Unawre of the most awfull thing that ever walked weyward was sleeping 10 meters away. When he opened hes eyes he saw a huge axe being hold over his bed. Faster then a turtle he throwed himselfs under the bed. However Agatio didnt mind destrorying one of the innkeepers bed and slammed the axe right in it. The bed was cleaved by the blow and Piers left arm was cut off. Piers jumped up and summoned judgement on the inn. The inn was totally destroyed by the impact, but no one died or cared. Expect the innkeeper who killed himself 10 days later and his wife who married Kyle 11 days later.

Piers plyed his wound and preperred to fight the attackers with his sword. Karst and Agatio prepered to strike again,

But before anyone did anything a whiny voice cried out. "Hey me and my girlfriend are trying to sleep, get out of the inn." All three noticed that Kraden was sitting in a bed next to Mia, at that time all of Prox throwed up. Piers who was fast to recover from the shock began to ran desperatly for his boat.

Then he reaced the boat he was intercepted by the ghost of lord Babi. Babi pulled up a Shot gun and said calmy. "Bring me to Lemuria Lemurian." Piers who now was armed with a Excalibur attacked Babi carelessly.

One shot gun shot later

Babi stood on the blood spilled boat deck when he noticed, that the entire boat was sinking and sinking fast. He also noticed that the boat was no longer on the dock it had began to drift away. Babi made some tones of the GS theme song before he drowned.

At Pulles house in Prox

"I thank you Isaac u saved the world, Prox and Vale." Said Pulle happily. "How can we ever repay your awesomeness."

Isaac was wearing full black, sunglasses and smoked a cigar. He said very calmy. "I dont need a reward i cannot be more awesome. Now i must go to my awesome home in Vale."

Everyone in the house bowed down as the greatest and most awesome leader of all time walked out of the house.

"Isaac make sure you didnt forget your teddy bear. I dont wanna hear you whine all the way back to Vale." Screamed Jenna from the outside.

Isaac who had been walking in slow mode, suddenly started to run out of the house. (not so awesome after all)

They walked happily out of Prox, with some luck they didnt meet Mia seeking allies to avenge Kraden. (who heroicly died in a battle against Sentinel). When they reached the dock they noticed that the ship was gone.

"So how are we supposed to get home now." Jenna asked Isaac you dont happen to carry the Teleport cuff?"

"No but i have something better." Issac smilled and pulled out the Frost ball.

Issac then cast frost on the entire Western and Eastern sea so he and Jenna could walk back to Vale. Not caring that he doomed Champa in the action.

At Mt,alpth Alex stood awaiting the Golden sun that was circling over him he was just about to get inte the power beam. When from the golden sun Felix unconcious body fell and hit Alex in the head knocking them both out. They laid uncouncious for about a 30 minutes

When Alex raised up. "No who robbed me of my dream. My dreams!." However a dream had come true when it come to Felix

"It was i The creepy one who did it." said the wiseass and appered out of nowhere. It lift up Alex and hit him with some skills and then throwed his body laying on top on Felix. Alex tried to move but he couldnt.

"Why did you do that for?" he asked desperatly. The Rock hovered and said. "I saw your intentions all along and made sure you were getting no power."

"But i have no special power." said Alex "you are just mean."

"Yes i took the Power away from you and by the way this mounting is sinking into the ground.

" What" screamed Alex.

"Ohhh and i also gave the Golden suns power to Isaac couse he is so awesome."

The Mountain sunk and both Alex and Felix died, Yes died.

Jenna and Isaac after days of walking on the frozen seas reached the ruins of Vale. Notcing that someone had on the sign that said vales popultion had carved in a big zero with blood.

"Any survivors here" screamed Isaac and looked happily as two Proxians come in view of the screen.

"Only the two of us survieved." Said Saturos.

"Who would have thought that a mountain Crasing in the ground could couse so much damge?" asked Menardi.

"This is once again a proof of the awesome powers of falling mountains" said Saturos.

"Where you guys even close to the crash?" asked Isaac. "And didnt you die on Venus lighthouse and why are you here now?"

"Well first of all No we were at Tolbi and won colossus at the same time of the Crash." said Saturos holding up a very ugly Lure cape. "I have no idea how we survived but i have alot of theroies nobody cares about. And last we are here to retrive a heavy load of alcohol, that i hide here to avoid it getting stolen by Kraden. will you help me look for it?"

Sure answered both Isaac and Jenna.

After hours of intensive searching they found a small cave containing boxes full with Vodka and yin. On every single bottle there was a note saying. Saturos alcohol everyone exepect Jenna keep your hands away.

They took all the Alcohol and went to Valut and had a party the town would never recover from.

Characther comments

Felix: How come i got treated so cruel in this story? Falling down the hole, being trapped in the golden sun and when raped by Alex and killed by a falling mountain.

Response: well first of a all you hold a grip on the Mars star with your life and you never speak in TLA and after that i thought you were better off dead.

Jenna: Why didnt i burn/thretend people like I normaly do?

Response: Couse thats acting heavly out of character. and very boring in the long term.

Alex: why did you cut so many of my lines?

Response: Couse you suck.

Sheba: How come me and Ivan got to look so weak?

Response: couse you are both weak

Ivan: What is so bad about being a family with me and why you made my sister kill herself?

Response: First you are a really boring person, that cries over a stick and second its ironic coused you were already dead and she didnt need to die

Isaac: why didnt you picture up my awesomeness any more?

Response: sorry sorry and sorry

Garet: Will i have any food in my cell? Will i ever be let out?

Response: I doubt it

Piers: why did i rape Garet? i aint a pedofil couse i am seriously just fourteen like Sheba and what was Garets little thing?

Response: couse you were sexually attracted to him. and Garets little thing is no more

Mia: Whyyyyy theeeee Helllll was i shiped with Kraden?

Response: Couse i wanted to hit all the Mudshippers right in the face and show everyone that Valeshipping pwns.

Kraden: Could i have sex with Jenna to?

Response: (a big vomit on the floor)

Hama: How come i had a gun? The first gun was made year 1337 by ..........

Response: its a plothole there just to be a plothole.

Babi. How did i drown if i was a ghost?

Response: ask Kraden

Karst and Agatio: Did we just randomly become the Proxian pedofill busters? thought we were the lighthouse lighters.

Response: actully before the lighthouse your misson was to simpley kill lord Babi for the Sheba thing, then you dropped out to kill Isaac

Saturos: How come the Alfharian mayor tasted like beacon?

Response: couse he is a big

Menardi: Why did you make me a dragdresser?

Response: To make you cry

Prox elder: Do you owe Golden sun?

Response: NO

Pulle how come you were so cruel and why did i think Isaac was all awesome, why did i care so much for the Garet/Piers thing. Why did we ave that kind of childprison? how come Dullaham and Sentinel watched the door? aint i ever cool? why didnt i kill piers myself and how come i didnt got to do anything cool. How come some characters had guns , where was all the djinn and how come I didnt kill the elder?.

Response:pulls out a gun and finish the FAQ phese with a swift trigger pull.