Greg was only eight when he found himself with a child to take care of. His little sister, Sophie. She was three years younger, at five. It had been an innocent enough start to the day: Greg had gotten up, bright and early, ready to enjoy the day off school. Saturdays were always his favourite day because he could play all day and stay up late at night. He, and his sister, of course knew to steer clear of their father once he started drinking. But that was every night, and so nothing special.

Greg had gone outside to play with his digger toys in the dirt. He didn't even notice that his father had opened the back door to let his sister out to join him. He certainly didn't expect his father to just assume he knew she was there, and knew to watch her. Greg had remained oblivious to the situation, as Sophie hadn't come up to play with him. It was half and hour later when his father called out for them that he realised that Sophie wasn't there. His father was furious at him, and shouted all kinds of insults his way as they searched for Sophie.

They noticed the gate was open, and so frantically ran out to see where she'd run off to. They lived on a busy street, and Sophie didn't have an awareness to keep away from traffic. Greg's father rounded on him.
"If she dies, it's all your fault." He said with a sneer.

Greg, just a child himself, believed him. He couldn't rationalise that if he wasn't told to she was out there, he couldn't know to watch her. He just panicked. His heart thrummed so hard in his chest that he could see his shirt flutter to the movement. He wasn't allowed to leave the premises, and so had to stand and watch his parents look for Sophie down the street. He peered out as far has he could, and tried to tell himself that he couldn't see a body, and so she'd not been hit.

Some time later, his parents returned carrying Sophie. She'd actually crossed the busy street, and was running down the adjoining road. Greg sunk into himself. His father was livid, and he knew that he would be punished severely for it. His mother never seemed to notice the punishment anymore. She was always just busy with her work, trying to make a living for the family as his father refused to work himself. Once the man had stopped hitting Greg when he was six, his mother just assumed everything was fine.

That night Greg stood before his father, his head lowered and expressionless. He knew that any expression would be cause for a reaction from the man. He hated him. His friends at school always talked about the wonderful things they'd do with their dads, and so he learnt quickly that his father was not like that. He never took Greg or Sophie out to play, never took them to their school events, never spent time with them doing anything. He just yelled at them for being around. Greg tried hard not to cry as loud insults were thrown his way. It was hard not to believe them when he was told them so often. 'Worthless', 'irresponsible', 'stupid', 'idiot', 'good-for-nothing', 'failure', 'selfish', 'monster'… they all hung with Greg well after his father went to bed.

Greg was sent to bed, and so he joined Sophie in their room. He was resentful that his father never seemed to blame Sophie for her actions. Whenever he'd tell either of his parents about a transgression she'd committed, they just seemed to yell at him for some reason. Sophie was never yelled at for doing something; Greg was yelled at for letting her do it. Greg sighed and stroked his sister's blonde hair gently as she slept.
"I'm glad you're still alive." He whispered before climbing into bed.

He couldn't sleep until late. He just kept thinking how it was his responsibility to look after Sophie. How it was up to him to make sure she was alive. He was going to have to raise her. He didn't know what he was doing… he was only three years her elder… but he didn't have much choice. Her life had been thrown into his hands.

Greg tried his hardest to be a good big brother to Sophie. But the more their parents enforced the idea that Sophie could do as she liked, because Greg would be there to take the blame and fix the mess… the more she acted out. Greg had stopped questioning why he was taking the blame for everything and just resigned himself that it was just his place.

That was, until, he went to high school. He was separated from Sophie and her antics all day, and he could finally spend time with his mates. He was still of course always on the look out for trouble Sophie might get into, but he accepted the punishment with a lot more salt than he used to. The bitterness of his father's treatment of him over the years grew… and while he tried not to show it, his father could pick up on it and punished him further. That man was a tyrant, and he liked to enforce his rule.

As Greg grew, he started to question his status as 'worthless' as he'd grown up thinking. It occurred to him that he couldn't be worthless if he was simultaneously responsible for another life - not by choice. He had some worth, worth enough to care for Sophie. And then that thinking became that he did have worth in himself, and he was stuck looking after his sister. And then eventually… that he was his own person, and resented being responsible for Sophie.

Sophie had continued to act out. She loved being the bad child, the one to break things, the one to make the other children cry. It had been quite the shock for her to discover that in school, she'd be punished for her actions. But instead of realising that she shouldn't do them to avoid punishment, she just hated the staff for punishing her. She had shouted at Greg once, 'how dare they!', to which Greg had remained silent. Getting into fights with his sister always ended up with a round of torment from his father for making his sister cry.

So he always had to be the grown-up. Greg hated that he always had to be the mature grown-up. Even when he was just a child, his parents had always told him to 'act his age', as if not understanding that being the eldest still meant that he was allowed to act like a normal ten-year-old. Greg hated that he had been forced to surrender a carefree childhood he heard about from his friends, in order to be a parent.

Sure, it had meant that he'd easily gotten on with children twice his age, and had managed to get along with the teachers well even though his friends caused them never-ending headaches. But he'd not been able to just be a kid. He was forever trying to raise Sophie. Destructive, impulsive Sophie.

At age fifteen, things were getting rough for his family. His mother hadn't been able to get the extra day at work regularly, and so the money wasn't coming in enough. Greg felt responsible to try and make an income, but he couldn't. He didn't have a means to get to and from any job he could try and get, and he had to always be around to keep an eye on Sophie. He resented his father for sitting around doing nothing all day but watch TV, all the while telling his mother to go and get a second job. But no one could ever say anything to him.

Or so he thought. One night, he heard his mother shouting at him. His father was drunk, obviously, since it was eight in the evening - his father started drinking at four. None of the arguments he was shouting really made sense, but they rarely did. Greg had been on the receiving end of enough drunk shouting to know that his father didn't have any cognitive function left at this time of night. His mother wasn't as used to it, and was shouting at him for not making any sense. Greg wished he could tell her that for him, he was doing a good job. His father shouting that his mother was 'selfish and self focused', whereas he was 'a broad thinker and could save the world if all the governments would just listen to him' was coherent. Ridiculous, yes, but coherent. His father had randomly slammed against his door to hold up a bag of oranges and shout at him for eating a sausage roll in the fridge (which he didn't, and there hadn't been one there) and therefore could not open the fridge after six pm.

Sophie was beside him as they listened. If they didn't want the two of them to hear, then they should have kept the volume down. Greg cringed at hearing the insults his father shouted about him, and Sophie even stroked his arm supportively at the mention of 'faggot'. Their mother never tried to rebuke any of the insults. She did continue shouting at him that he should go get a job and not just demand that she take two to try keep the family going.

"Fuck that, Betty! Those idiots out there can't just listen to me and save the god damned planet, so what's the fucking point? I'm too qualified for anyone! Places here would just look at my resumé and think fuck, this guy's so good, he'll cost a fortune… and not hire me! That's what's been happening, you idiot!"
"It doesn't have to be a high paying crazy job you've envisioned yourself to be entitled to… just something to help pay the bills!"
"Hey, YOU might be pointless enough to take on such a job, but all that's BENEATH ME."

There was some silence where in the two siblings just looked at each other with sad looks.
"I wish he'd just go already." Greg mumbled.
"Mhm." Sophie agreed.

"I'm just trying hard to keep us afloat Roger! I can't cook, clean, watch the kids AND work two jobs while you sit around watching TV all day!"
"No! FUCK THIS! I'm sick of you telling me what I have to do in my life. I'm sick of always being tied down by this shithole. I'm gone."

Greg's eyes grew wide and he looked at his little sister with regret. He had just wished it… and it was going to happen. He just wanted to stop being tormented… he didn't know how it was going to affect them really. He felt scared.