We'll Always Be Great Friends

by Awkwardauthor

Two best friends. Fourteen years. One close friendship. "We'll always be great friends," he always says to me. Too bad he doesn't know that I want everything. AH

This was my entry for the Season Of Our Discontent anonymous contest. Congrats to all the winners btw! there were so many good fics & the ones that I like that were so beautifully written were the ones that won, which I wasn't surprised by. This didn't win an anything, BUT I loved all the reviews that I had for this one-shot whenever I check it on the contest page.

This will probably be the closest fic I'll ever write that has lots of angst. The ones who know me know I'm usually the one who does humorous stuff. ^_^

PS did anyone guess that it was me who did this fic when it was up on the contest page before today?

~:~

Mr. Tamura looks at him after Emily sits down. He stand up, holding his index card.

"Hi. My name is Edward. One, I love cookies, whether it's homemade or store bought. Two, I've been through two breakups last year. And three, I hate yellow starbursts."

Mr. Tamura smiles at Edward, then turns to face the class. "Which one is the lie?"

I hold up my two fingers. As tempting as number three might sound, something tells me that number two is false. I know it's possible that people could go through two breakups in one year, but with people as young as us, I don't think it's highly likely.

I see a majority of the class is holding one or three fingers.

I'm the only one holding two fingers.

Eric snickers next to me. "I bet it's three, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't bet on it."

Edward looks around the room. When he noticed that I was the only one holding two fingers, he smirked in my direction. Did that mean something? Am I right?

"It's two," Edward states, still smirking at me.

Heat flushes through my cheeks. I hate being the odd one out. It just gives an excuse for everyone around to stare at me weirdly.

Everyone laughed. Even Mr. Tamura and Ms. Burdios laughs too.

"Wow," Mr. Tamura commented, still laughing.

Edward is still smirking. "Happy to see one of us found my lie." As he says this, an evil glint was evident in his eyes. As he sits down, the heat in my cheeks only flushes more.

~:~

"Sitting on this lab table-" Mr Matsumoto points at a circular black lab table third to the last lab table "Are Bella, Edward, Rosalie and Kate."

What the heck? I'm going to be stuck sitting with Edward?

Rosalie and I make our way to our lab table. Edward and Kate are already there, sitting in seats opposite each other. Rosalie takes a seat next to Lauren. Fighting down my blush, I take the open seat next to Edward.

As Mr. Matsumoto takes the rest of the time to assign everyone else to their lab groups, Rose and I make small talk.

"Well this is nice," she said, leaning back on her seat. "At least I'm working with people that aren't dumb."

"Like Mike?" Kate snickered.

Rose laughed with her. "Yeah."

Edward rolled his eyes. "So he's dumb. Doesn't mean we should laugh about it. I will feel bad for whichever unlucky group is stuck with him."

"I agree with Edward," I said, nodding. "I just hope his group will be able to help him."

"See. Brownie agrees with me."

Brownie?

I raised an eyebrow. "Brownie?"

He shrugged. "It fits you. You're sweet, have brown hair and brown eyes. Plus I like brownies."

"I thought you liked cookies."

"I like brownies too."

"Me too."

He grinned. "Then I have a feeling we'll be great friends."

~:~

"No!" I screamed, seeing Samus fly off the final destination stage.

Edward laughed. "You lost. Again."

I punched his arm playfully. "Shut up. I'd like to see you play a round of Super Smash Bros Brawl."

He shrugged. "Sure. Since it's Japanese Club, why not?"

I hand him the Wii controller. After the next set of players were chosen by Japanese Club's president (I still can't remember his name), Edward sits down on the chair I occupied earlier. I stand behind him, waiting to give him my support and advice just in case he's clueless at playing Brawl.

Fifteen minutes later, my mouth hangs open.

He won. With Bowser, the most slowest character in Brawl.

"See? Even I can win."

I pouted. "That's not fair. You already knew how to play."

"Not really. I only remember playing this game a few times at my cousin's house."

"Do you lose?"

"Most of the time. I won two times."

"Lucky. I'd be lucky if I could win one."

"I can help."

"Oh please. You've helped enough. How the heck did you even win with the most slowest character in brawl anyway?"

Edward just smirked. "All in its powers, Brownie."

"But it's so slow!"

"Don't complain. You saw me win, remember?"

"You don't need to rub it in."

He chuckled. "Oh, but I will."

"I can't wait," I said sarcastically, crossing my arms across my chest and waiting for our video game time to end.

~:~

"Happy birthday Brownie!" Edward held out his birthday present on my lab table.

I wanted to melt in a puddle of goo. My first birthday in high school, and my new best friend remembered my birthday? And wants to give me a present? So far, only Alice and Rosalie have gotten me presents. I'll be happy if Edward adds on to the list.

"What did you get me?" I asked, feeling giddy as to what could be inside the medium-sized square-shaped box in front of me.

"Open it and see," is all that he says.

With a smile plastered on my face, I untie the blue bow and slowly unwrap Edward's present. When I finally get all the gift wrapping off of and I open the box, I couldn't help but release a squeal.

"Are your for reals Edward?" I reach inside the box and pulled out a small white teddy bear and a small box of Godiva chocolates.

Edward looked at me sheepishly. "I assume you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug. "Thanks Edward!"

"You're welcome." And I didn't know if I heard him right, but I could have sworn he whispered "love" too.

~:~

"Are you kidding me?" I whisper-screamed at Edward. "I'm so not doing this!"

Edward made his sad-puppy dog face. "Oh c'mon Brownie. It won't be that bad. Please? For me?" Dang! He knows that I can't say no when he does that!

My resolve was slowly breaking away, but I refuse to say yes yet. I'd rather say no that say yes and make an embarrassment out of myself in front of everyone.

"Please?"

"What's in it for me?" I figured that at this point, I'll only say yes if Edward gives me something in return.

Edward did his signature smirk. "I'll give you two bars of chocolate, homemade brownies and let you borrow the newest Lady Gaga album once I buy it?"

Damn, he's a good dealer.

"Well?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Fine, but it won't be my fault if I step on your foot."

He laughed, holding out his left hand as I lay my right hand on top of fit while he leads me to the dance floor.

"It's our first New Years Ball, Brownie. I won't ever let you fall."

~:~

"Ooh! Chocolate!" Edward grabbed a handful of M&M's from my big bag of M&M's and shoved it into his mouth.

I playfully punched his arm. "Don't you dare eat all my chocolates!"

"Can't help it, Brownie. You know how much I love my chocolates."

"I thought you said you liked brownies and cookies!"

"Well... now chocolates are on my list. Who said I can't like chocolates?" He grabbed another handful of my M&M's and he laughed as he walked away to talk to Lauren and her friends.

"Edward's weird," Rosalie commented, shaking her head as she grabbed a few M&M's from the bag.

"Yeah... but he's my weird Edward." As I said this, I couldn't help but look longingly at my best guy friend.

He's weird, but who cares? He's my best friend, and if he's weird, then I'll accept him.

"It's Valentine's day too Bella," Emily said. "Why don't you ask him out or something?"

I shook my head, feeling a blush reach my cheeks. "He's my best friend. It'll be weird."

"Whatever you say," Emily said nonchalantly. "Just know that this is high school."

"And?"

"With a pretty face like that, who knows what girl will ask him out?"

~:~

"I'm leaving."

Wait... what?

"What do you mean you're leaving?" I asked, curious as to what he meant. Edward had asked me to meet him near the flagpole to tell me something important before I left for spring break.

He sighed, giving me a sad look. "My parents... they sold our house and found a better one in Ewa Beach."

I stared at Edward with a confused expression. "So? You're moving. You'll just be living farther than Waipahu. You'll still be going to Waipahu High, right? You just gotta sign the geographic forms and it'll be okay."

"That's the thing... I won't be signing geographics."

I was still confused. "But you have to if you're gonna continue attending Waipahu High."

He sighed again, but this time it was as if he's frustrated. "You don't get it, do you?"

I shook my head.

"I won't be signing geographics because I won't continue going to high school here. Once I move away, I'll be transferring to Campbell until the end of my senior year. I'm leaving after I finish my freshman year here."

He was moving.

He won't be attending Waipahu High.

He's transferring to Campbell.

I won't see my best friend ever again.

Tears begin to fill my eyes. I was going to lose Edward.

~:~

"Brownie?" He whispered, trying not to speak too loud so Mr. Matsumoto wouldn't catch him speaking.

When I didn't respond, he began tapping my shoulder repeatedly.

It's been two weeks since he told me he was moving away and transferring to Campbell. I refused to speak to him since then. I wasn't holding a grudge against him for this happening, but I was letting myself wallow in my misery, too upset to speak to the person that caused to be like this.

"Please, Brownie, talk to me."

"Talk to me after class" is all I say.

~:~

"What do you want?" We were outside of our science class, and I was waiting for Edward to start talking so that I could hear what he has to say before the end of recess.

"Look at me, Brownie." My head was down, and I refused to look him in the eye. I was scared of looking at him and end up crying. I wanted to beg him to stay in Waipahu, but I didn't want to sound desperate.

He's my best friend. If he's my best friend, then I'll have to accept him moving away, even if it hurts me so much. It's his life. I can't stop him.

"Please," he pleaded. "Look. At. Me."

My resolve was crumbling away. I had to look at him for his sake.

"What?" is what I say when I lift my head up. His normally green eyes that sparkled with happiness wasn't there. Instead, it was replaced with a look that I only remember seeing once: when he told me he was leaving.

A look of sadness.

He was never sad. Even if he was, he'd never show it. He'd stay happy for the sake of letting others believe he was happy.

"You've been avoiding me."

"I was." I tilt my face higher and I realize that our faces were only inches apart. I could feel his breath fan across my face. I wanted to step away from him in case this was weird for him, but for some odd reason, this feeling of closeness felt nice.

What the heck? Why was I thinking this? Edward's my best friend! I shouldn't be feeling this.

As if Edward read my thoughts, he took a small step back, but he never broke his intense stare at me as he did so.

"Just because I'm moving away doesn't mean you have to avoid me like this," Edward tells me. "Now, because of it, we have less time until the last day of school."

"So?"

"So? We're best friends. Until I move away, why don't we stop doing this and make the best of what time we have left?"

He was right. He always was, and I was wrong like I usually am.

"Okay," I finally said.

~:~

It's time.

Over the past two months, Edward has made good with his promise and we spent as much time as we could as best friends before he moved. After we finally got back to speaking terms, Edward admitted that he was moving in July, which meant that he was moving away in less that three months.

As best friends, we did everything that we could with the time that we had. We hung out every single day, never once leaving each others' side. Rosalie and Alice understood this. Besides, I'd be able to hang out with them again as often as I could after the inevitable happens.

Edward and I did a lot. We went to the movies, went to every shop there was around in Waikele, ate at every fast food restaurant in Waipahu, hung out at Waipahu District Park, ate lunch together alone at school... and so much more that I've forgotten. They were little things, but they were, as I'll always know them as, memories.

I'm at his house, standing alongside him as we watched his furniture being carried by his parents and relatives to the moving truck.

"I'll miss you," I tell him, because that's all I could say to him right now. What am I supposed to say? What do I say to the boy who has become a close friend to me in just one school year?

"I'll miss you too Brownie," he responded. "I'll be missing you so much."

And then I sob, because that's what I expected myself to do on this day. It was the day that I never wanted to come, but yet I knew it would eventually arrive.

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest in a loving embrace. An embrace that only lovers would do.

"I don't want you to leave," I sobbed against his chest.

I felt his fingers run through my hair. "I know. I don't either."

I hear his mom calling his name. When I looked up, I see that she was waiting in front of their car, waiting for him to get inside.

Have we been in our little bubble for that long? I realized that I wanted our little bubble to never be popped, but like the rest of the world, there's always a force that has to come between it.

"I guess you gotta go," I muttered, taking a step back. Tears were falling in steady streams down my cheeks, my vision of Edward blurring.

"Hey, Brownie?" I felt a finger under my chin. I blink and I see that Edward is tilting my chin up so I'd look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I promise you that even when I move away and I'll be going to Campbell, we'll always be great friends."

I sniffed. "Promise."

"Promise."

That day was a day I'd never forget. Not only did my best friend move away, but he was the one who gave me my first kiss. It was his way of leaving behind his last memory of living in Waipahu as one that was happy, not sad.

But even with that final memory, it didn't change anything. Even with a kiss, it doesn't change the fact that we were, after all, still friends.

~:~

Time passes by pretty quick, and before I know it, I was a senior. It seemed that even after Edward moved away, I was able to go back to school and live my life without my best guy friend by my side like Edward would have wanted.

When Edward moved away, it wasn't the last time we'd interact. We'd constantly chat on Facebook and Skype on weekends when we didn't have a lot of homework. Every summer, we'd find a way to meet and hang out; if we were lucky, then we'd do it on some weekends too. It would be just the two of us, and those days I'd savor, because I never know when I'd see him again. We lived far away with each other that we'd never know just when we have the time to be with each other.

And yet, until now, we were still best friends.

Even after out first kiss, we were still friends. We never spoke of the kiss ever since, and I didn't try to. We were friends. If I brought it up, wouldn't it make things awkward?

Campbell grew on Edward, although he was still the same boy that he was before he left Waipahu. He didn't let a new high school change his already perfect personality. He has new friends, but that didn't mean he let go of the friends he had in Waipahu. He still kept tabs on them on Facebook, but he never really sees them anymore.

"You're the only true friend I still have left from Waipahu," he once said. "That is, if you count bumping into James once at a supermarket."

No one's forgotten him. I remember how it felt different without having Edward's presence around on the first day of sophomore year. I was told that he was supposed to be in my Japanese class for the year, and it did feel weird not hearing Edward's name called out during attendance. But, like everyone else, I had to get used to it.

~:~

"Are you going to prom?" Edward and I were sitting alone on a bench in Waipahu District Park, watching the kids play around on the newly mowed grass and their parents watching out for them. It was one of these days where we were lucky that we didn't have so much homework as seniors. We had about a month before we'd graduate, and senior prom in Waipahu High was only a few weeks away.

And, like I knew I'd be, I have no date yet. Last year, for junior prom, my date was Garrett. He was a pretty okay guy, but we only went as friends. For the record, he was the one who asked me. Now, as seniors, he was dating Kate.

I shook my head, trying not to choke on my muffin. "No. Why?"

He shrugged. "I was wondering if... maybe..."

"Yes?" I could see that Edward was acting all shy. Whatever it was he wanted to say, I could tell he was finding a hard time to say it.

"Can I be your date to your senior prom?" he finally blurted out.

I sat there, speechless, my muffin held frozen halfway to my mouth.

"W-What?" was all I could say.

"It's just that... ummm..." He was running his fingers through his head. It's a nervous habit that I saw him pick up since he moved away.

"You want to take me to prom," I stated. "Why? Won't you be missing yours in Campbell?" Edward had told me weeks ago that senior prom in Campbell was scheduled to be held on the same day as the senior prom in Waipahu.

"I... I wanna... you know... let you have the experience."

"What do you mean experience? I already had mine with Garrett?"

"Yeah... but..." Edward was starting to blush like I'd do. "I wanna go with someone that I know who would give me a fun time. I don't wanna go with some random girl who will just be talking to her friends all night."

I smiled, now being able to interpret Edward's words. "Well I am fun."

He chuckled. "And you are. So will you to prom with me."

I thought about it for a moment. "In Waipahu."

He nodded.

"As my date."

"Or as friends..." he murmured. "If that's what you want."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he mentioned that. I thought it would be awkward when people saw us together at prom and thought the impossible.

"Okay," I said finally. "I'll go to prom with you."

"As friends?"

"As friends," I agreed.

~:~

"Best. Night. Ever!" Edward cheered, pumping one of his fists in the air while the other was holding on to the steering wheel of his car.

I laughed. "It was fun, but I wouldn't say it was my best night ever."

He frowned. "So you didn't have fun?"

"No! I did! What made you think that?"

He ruffled my hair. "I was just kidding Brownie."

"I knew that."

"Liar."

"It's true!"

Our banter continued all the way until Edward finally drove us to my house. My parents were working overtime tonight, which meant I wouldn't expect them until probably tomorrow morning.

We got out of Edward's car as he led me up the three short steps that led to my porch. I flicked on the porch light. When I turned around, I saw Edward looking at me with an awkward expression.

"So..." he said.

"So..." I repeated.

"Let's head up to your room."

I nodded. "It'll be more comfortable there."

"That won't be the only thing that's uncomfortable," Edward muttered to himself.

"What was that?" I asked, unlocking the front door.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

We headed inside my house after I was able to unlock my door. As Edward heads upstairs to my room (He's been here a few times after he moved away), I locked the front door behind me. After the door was unlocked, I followed Edward upstairs.

When we got to my room, Edward locked the door behind me.

To say the rest was history is understatement. Our first time that night was magical. He took care of me the whole time and knew just what part of me would elicit what kind of reaction.

He stayed there with me even after I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I found my self alone. There was a note taped to the sheets next to me.

Brownie,

Had to go while you were asleep. Thank you for last night. I'll cherish that night with me.

Even after we shared our firsts, we'll always be great friends.

Edward

~:~

"It's like the summer between our freshmen and sophomore year all over again," I said with a frown.

He looked at me sadly. His expression resembled that day when he moved to Ewa Beach.

"I know, Brownie. I know." As he said this, his eyes weren't on me, but on the ground.

"But this is different," I said in a whisper. "This time you're moving all the way to Tokyo for college."

"Look at the bright side..."

I looked at him, confused. "What's the bright side?"

"At least I'm not going to the Philippines. That's way farther."

I forced a laugh. "True."

"And besides, it's not like I'm never coming back to Hawaii. I'll be in Tokyo for four years and as soon as I graduate, I'll be coming right back home."

"You promise?"

"I promise with all my heart, Brownie. In the meantime, we'll have Skype, Facebook and emails to keep in touch."

A half-smile formed on my face. It's true. Edward never breaks a promise. And it's only four years right? It'll probably go by pretty fast... like high school.

"And Brownie?"

"Yeah?"

"Even when I'm in Tokyo for college, just know that we'll always be great friends."

An hour later, I stood alone near a window at the airport, watching the plane to Tokyo that Edward boarded fly away. My heart crumpled the farther the plane flew away, carrying my Edward with it.

What the heck? My Edward?

I shook my head.

He's just my best friend I told myself.

As soon as the plane was out of sight, my cell phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans.

It's a text from Edward.

Is it stupid to say that I already miss you? -E

I smiled to myself.

I will get through this.

~:~

"I have a girlfriend," Edward suddenly blurted.

"W-What?" It's been two years since I've last seen Edward board the plane to Tokyo. Like he promised, he's been keeping in touch with me as much as possible. Edward and I are currently web-chatting via Skype. I was in my dorm alone at the University of Manoa. My roommate, Senna, was out partying that a sorority was holding. Since this is one of those rare times when I'm alone, I decided to use the time to web-chat with my best friend.

"I met this really awesome girl name Erika at the college I'm going to."

"Really? Isn't that the girl you told me about that you met on your first day in college? And the girl you said that you had a crush on?"

"Yeah. Turns out that she likes me too. We've been going out for a few weeks now."

"That's great," I told him.

Liar my conscious was telling me.

He grinned. "I'm happy that you see it this way. I'm serious when I say that I might even love her."

I nearly choked on the red velvet muffin that I chewed on. "Love?"

The grin is still plastered on his face. "She's my first real girlfriend, Brownie. Of course I like her that way."

I forced a smile. I didn't want him to see that deep inside, I didn't like his girlfriend, even though the way he was describing her made it seem like she was better than me.

You like him Shoots. Apparently, my conscious was still speaking to me.

I can't think of Edward that way. He's my best friend, and always will be.

What about the night of prom? My conscious spoke back to me.

That's nothing. We just wanted our firsts to be with someone we trust. I trust him, and he trusts me.

"Hey Brownie?"

Did I zone out?

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You were silent for a bit there."

"I'm alright." I swallowed a piece of the red velvet muffin that's threatening to come back up. "I just remembered that I was supposed to web-chat with Alice in a few minutes."

"Oh... okay. Well, thanks for web-chatting with me, Brownie."

"No probs. You know I'm here for you." Those words are true, unlike the ones I said earlier.

"Hey, before you go, can I say something?"

"Sure."

"Even though I now have a girlfriend, just know that we'll always be great friends." With that, Edward signed off of our web-chat.

~:~

It's just one bad thing after another. Not only Edward has a girlfriend, but he's broken a promise.

The promise he made before he went to Tokyo.

I'll be in Tokyo for four years and as soon as I graduate, I'll be coming right back home.

I remember it loud and clear. He clearly said he'd come back home as soon as he graduated. And who had to break his promise?

Her. The devil herself.

His girlfriend, who I knew would ruin everything.

He wasn't coming back home because he wanted to stay in Tokyo for her.

Erika.

I hated her with every fiber of my being. Even though I've never even met the girl, I still know that I hate her, no matter how great Edward thinks of her. It's her fault that I'm never seeing my best friend again. It's her fault that I'm never going to hear Edward call me "Brownie" again.

I miss Edward so much. It's been a few years since I've last seen him. My heart aches each day that he's not here... and it still is. I wish he was here. I wish Edward was back home in Waipahu, where he truly belongs. Not there. Not Tokyo. Not where his girlfriend is holding him back.

With a groan, I lay back on my bed and push my pillow over my face, going back to my wallowing misery.

~:~

A knock on my apartment door alerts me that there was someone at the door.

I groaned. "Alice, will you get the door?"

Silence.

Shoots. Alice must still be asleep.

"Rose?"

Silence.

"Fine, I'll get it myself." I jumped out of bed and walked to the front door.

After graduation, Alice and Rosalie had met up with me back in Waipahu, where we decided to share an apartment together until we had jobs and could find our own home.

Or, if it happens anytime soon, get married. I wouldn't be surprised if Alice or Rose get married within the next few months. Judging by how Alice constantly shows her affection towards Jasper in public or how Rose ends up disappearing with Emmett in private places on times where we all hang out, I think my suspicions will prove to be true.

Sharing an apartment with my two best friends isn't all that bad. After all, we're doing something that we've planned to do since we were ninth graders. We've always wanted to live under one roof and do whatever we want with just the three of us. The only thing that annoys me though, besides the two of them doing their "business" with their boyfriends on some nights, is that I'm constantly the one who has to get the door in the morning when someone comes over.

Then again... on those days, they usually have all-nighters with their boyfriends.

I shudder. I don't even want to think about what happens behind those doors. Or bathroom... Don't get me started. I'll only make that mistake once. I don't even want to remember those sounds that Alice and Jasper were making in the bathroom a few weeks ago...

By the time I got to the door, I noticed that the knocking on the door was getting more persistent.

"Who is it?" I asked?

"It's me," a voice said from the other side in a whisper.

"Who's me?"

"You should know... Brownie."

I gasped. The voice was calling me Brownie?

It couldn't be, was it? This has to be my imagination.

It can't be Edward...

I was wrong, because when I opened that door, there he was, a huge smile on his face.

"Welcome home" is all I could say.

~:~

"So what made you change your mind?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I thought you said you were staying in Tokyo for Erika."

He sighed, a grimace forming on his lips. "I was. But... something came up."

"Which is..." I pressed.

"Lets just say Erika wasn't worth staying in Tokyo for," he gritted through his teeth.

Those words are all I needed to know what Edward is talking about.

"She broke up with you?"

"Quite the opposite really. I broke up with her."

I looked at him with a confused expression. "Then... what did Erika do?"

He laughed bitterly. "I found her in bed with her partner for a project. I think his name is Lee."

"Oh," I said stupidly.

"It didn't take me long to realize that Lee is the reason why Erika claimed she was hanging with her friends a lot lately. She lied to me all this time. I didn't like that my girlfriend's cheated on me behind my back, so I ended things with her."

"How'd it go.?

He shrugged. "Sure I loved her and all, but I guess she wasn't the one. If I found out later, who knows what we'll be by them? Maybe we'd even be married by then. I'm over it. I'm over Erika."

I was about to say that he was lying, but he cut me off.

"I'm over it, Brownie. Really."

I nodded, letting what I supposed to say drop. I was playing off that I was sorry for Edward's break-up with Erika, but inside, I was doing a happy dance. I knew there was a reason why I didn't like Erika. Until now, I played it off as a reason that I was jealous that Edward was dating someone and not me.

I knew Erika wasn't as great as Edward described her. It makes me happy that I have the right to say "I knew it!" when I get home later tonight.

"So what are you gonna do now?"

He leaned back, letting his head rest against the back of the bench. "I'll stop dating for a while. I just wanna hang out with you and the rest of our friends until I get my head straight."

"Alright."

"And Brownie?"

"Hmmm...?"

"I'm sorry if I worried you months ago. I broke my promise, but I promise you, this'll be the last time I'm ever breaking promises. I'm the reason why I almost really stayed in Tokyo. I'll never let anything like her make me do these things. Even after my break-up with Erika, we'll always be great friends."

~:~

"Bella, meet Leah Clearwater. Leah, meet my best friend Brownie."

I stick my tongue out at Edward. "Don't say that in front of Leah." I turn to the tall girl with her dark black hair tied in an elegant french braid. "My name's not Brownie. It's Bella Swan. Edward just calls me Brownie when Shiny Car doesn't remember my real name."

"Hey! For your information, I happen to like Brownie. And why call me Shiny Car now?"

"Cuz I want to."

I don't know why, but I like calling Edward "Shiny Car" these days. It was a nickname that some of the upperclassmen gave Edward in Japanese Club when we were ninth graders. I rarely called him that (The only exceptions are when I needed to get his attention) since I thought it was ridiculous, but ever since Edward came back home, I remembered his old nickname from high school and, for some reason, it finally stuck to me. Edward thinks it's because I think I should be giving him a nickname too since no one's around anymore that he used to know that would call hims Shiny Car, but I don't believe him. I choose to believe it's because he deserves to hear a silly nickname being called that too.

Edward didn't date anyone for the first few months, like I expected. I wasn't dating anyone at the moment too, so it didn't bother me much. I hadn't dated anyone since Alec, and that was over two years ago, when I was still in college.

Edward met Leah in the Foodland in Dillingham when he was buying stuff for an all-nighter that Emmett wanted to do again, only this time, we'd spend it all together. We were somewhat lucky that we were all given a day off from work for the same day, and we choose to spend it with the six of us together.

Apparently, the story, according to Edward himself, was that he saw Leah trying to reach an item on a high shelf in one of the aisles. Edward, always the gentlemen, helped her out. They talked for a while and by the time they had to go, they asked for each others' number and planned to go out to Starbucks during the weekend. They've been going out on a few dates lately, and at this point, Edward felt that he was ready for Leah to meet his friends.

Which brings us to today. Edward decided that he wanted Leah to meet me first, then Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper the next weekend. We both agreed that we should let Leah see the crazy side of the six of us together another time.

I can tell by the way that Edward looks at Leah that he like her. I didn't want to admit it, but by the way Edward describes her and the few seconds that I've met her, I like her too. There's something about Leah that reminds me of... well me.

Leah laughed. "I can see why you two are best friends. It's nice to meet you, Bella."

"Thanks Leah."

After our short exchange, Edward ushered us into the living room, where I talked with Leah for a while Edward was preparing dinner for tonight.

Leah was really easy to talk to. I learned that she share so many things in common with me. She had a sense of humor and when I reached on subjects that proved to be embarrassing on her, Leah would just be honest and tell me that she didn't want to talk about it.

As the night went on, I came to the conclusion that Edward was perfect for Leah. They clicked perfectly, just like my friendship my Edward. I could already tell that they wouldn't be breaking up anytime sooner.

When Edward and Leah left the apartment that night, a nagging thought lingered in my head that I tried to push away earlier.

Are you jealous? It's the same thought that I had when Edward was dating Erika, only this time it was nagging me more than usual.

I wasn't jealous. Why should I be jealous?

It's because you love him.

What the heck? How many times do I have to tell myself this? I don't love Edward.

Yeah you do.

I love him, but as a best friend. I love Edward as my best friend... nothing more.

You love him... but more as a best friend.

Okay... now my conscious is really creeping me out. I can't answer that question.

Isn't it enough that I did love Edward in some way?

~:~

Two years later, I found myself in a position that I never thought I'd never be in. I knew this day would eventually come, but now that it did, I felt sick.

I was standing in a light violet dress, watching as Edward and Leah were sharing their vows. Today is their wedding day. After dating for two and a half years, Edward and Leah were finally sealing the knot. Leah chose me as one of her bridesmaids, along with her friend Kebi. Her sister Emily was the maid-of-honor. Emmett became Edward's best man after a week of arguing between Emmett and Jasper on who would be best man at this wedding.

In the audience, I caught the eye of Jacob, who smiled at me warmly. Jacob Black is Leah's childhood best friend. I met him a few weeks after Edward introduced me to Leah. I wasn't surprised when I saw him in the guest list that Leah put Alice and Rosalie in charge of.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," I heard the priest say. I see Edward staring at Leah with loving eyes. He lifts her veil and brings her forward for a kiss. I stare down at the floor as I hear the audience burst into a round of applause and whistling.

"Bella, you alright?" Kebi asked from next to me.

"Yeah. It's just the breakfast I ate this morning," I lied weakly.

I watch as Edward and Leah walk down the aisle, Edward's arm wrapped tightly around Leah's waist.

This is what you wanted. Now you have it.

Yes... this is what I wanted. Thing is... did I really want it?

~:~

"And now... time for the first dance for the new married couple!" Jasper yells into the microphone.

I laughed. For once, the normally quiet Jasper could be as a loud as Emmett.

I stand off to the side, watching as Edward and Leah make their way to the center of the dance floor. As soon as the music started, the whole room nearly went silent.

"Leah looks nice in her wedding dress," Jacob mused, his eyes fixed on Leah as she shares her first dance with her new husband.

"So does Edward," I replied with a shrug.

He nodded. "Him too."

We stand there in silence for a while, continuing to watch Edward and Leah dance.

"You wanna know something?" Jacob asked a moment later, his eyes still fixed on Leah.

"Sure."

"I've been best friends with Leah since we were three and I've never seen her as beautiful as she looked today. I gotta admit that I'm jealous. Edward got one of the greatest girls that I could ever know in my entire life." As Jacob was saying this, I couldn't help but think that he was implying something in his statement, although I couldn't tell what it is he's implying.

"I can't believe I didn't do anything about us sooner," Jacob continued. "Maybe if I said something, maybe that would be me up there today instead of Edward. I'd be there kissing her and doing all the stuff that Edward's doing. I want to be with her."

Oh. Now I understood what Jacob meant. He likes Leah more than as a best friend. I'm not surprised. As best friends, I could always see how close they are when Jacob's with Leah. They had that sort of closeness that Edward and I had.

"You love Leah, don't you?" I told Jacob.

He finally tore his gaze from Leah to look at me. A small smile formed on his lips.

"More than she'll ever know," he said softly.

"Then you should have told her." I shook his shoulder slightly when I saw that his eyes were back fixed on Leah. "Maybe instead of standing there doing nothing, you could have done everything that you wanted to do with her. "

"Says you," he mumbled. "You're telling me all this when you can't even follow your own advice."

I looked at him, confused. "What do you mean by that?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's the same for you. I see the way you look at Edward, and the way he looks at you. You treat it as if you two will be nothing more than just friends."

"Well we are."

"You're wrong Bella. You may say that you only see Edward as your best friend, but I know you two well enough to know that you're only hiding how you two really feel. Best friends." He laughed, but it sounded forced. "More like best friends who want more."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying this: no matter how many times you tell yourself that you love Edward as your best friend, just know that you're lying to yourself. You're telling yourself that you don't want everything. You're telling yourself that you don't love him when you already do. You're like Leah and me, and now, just like me, because you didn't tell Edward how you really feel, someday you'll regret that you never said anything."

"Why do I need to? I don't love Edward."

"See. You're doing it again. Let this get into your head. You wanna know why I think Edward calls you Brownie?"

"Why?" I asked, challenging him.

"He cares."

"So? He always cares. That's why we're friends."

"I mean, he cares more than a regular friend. If he was just your friend, he'd call you by your regular name instead of that nickname. And you call him Shiny Car. Doesn't that show that you care about him in the same way that you do to him?"

"And?"

"Admit it Bella. I admit that I love Leah, and you should admit that you love Edward."

~:~

Days after Edward and Leah's wedding, I find myself laying on my bed at home, thinking of what Jacob had said to me during Edward and Leah's first dance.

You're like Leah and me, and now, just like me, because you didn't tell Edward how you really feel, someday you'll regret that you never said anything.

Was Jacob right? Do I regret even telling Edward that I love him? Wait... I never even said that I love him. So why do I feel like Jacob's words are having a bigger effect on me than I thought?

It's because you love him my conscious was telling me.

I don't love him. I told my conscious. And even if I did, it's too late anyway. Edward's married now. There would be no point in telling Edward how I feel when he can't be with me in the end. We're bound to be just best friends. I have to accept that.

So what if he's married? At least accept that you love him.

"I don't love him!" I shrieked, yanking my pillow under my head and throwing to the floor, frustrated.

Say you love him.

"I don't love him! I don't love him! I don't love Edward!" I screamed, feeling tears leak from my eyes at all the frustration my own conscious was giving me. How many times do I have to tell myself that I don't love Edward before my conscious finally shuts up?

Admit you love him and you won't have to feel this way.

"I don't love him," I whispered, clutching the tangled locks of my hair. "Stop it. Please."

My mind went silent. Did it finally listen to me?

No.

"Damn you!" I buried my head in my pillow and sobbed.

~:~

Time moves by fast. Before I knew it, I find myself living two years after Edward and Leah were married. However, I'm twenty-eight-years-old and still single. The only thing I got in my life that I love besides Edward and my friends are my anime.

Yes... I'm an adult who still loves anime. Strange, huh?

Alice and Rosalie moved out of the apartment we shared after they were got married with their boyfriends. Alice married Jasper on Valentine's Day a year and a half ago while Rosalie married Emmett on a Saturday during the summer a few months later after Alice and Jasper are married. I moved away from the apartment that we shared and settled in a smaller one in Kalihi. It's farther than where I grew up during high school, but it brought back the memories of living here before I moved to Waipahu in middle school.

I still enjoy working as a nurse in Queen's Medical Center. I've been working there for at least four years since I got out of college. I enjoyed the people that I worked with, and I enjoyed helping the patients who were in the hospital. It always felt nice to make a sick person in the hospital feel better. Needless to say, I love my job.

I was given a week off from work and I decided to spend it with Leah. She's a famous author who, at the moment, is working at her latest book for her ongoing series. Since she works from her home most of the time, I decided to spend my week off from the hospital hanging around with her at her house while Edward was at work.

Leah and I grew closer to me over the years since I first met her. It's safe to say that she's become a great friend to me and the rest of my friends. When I'm on breaks at work, she comes to stop by the hospital to eat lunch with me. I may be close with some of the nurses in the hospital, but they're not like Alice or Rosalie.

It's noon and I'm sitting on Leah's pillow cushion in the corner of her bedroom, watching Leah type at a rapid pace on her laptop. Her deadline for her book is in a couple of months, and since Leah's books in her series are normally over 400 pages long, she's struggling to fit everything she has in mind for her book. She told me a half hour ago that she's only halfway through the story and still has a lot more to go.

"You know," I started, sipping on a bottle of Vitamin water that Leah offered me a few hours ago, "You can always take a break. You've been working nonstop last week and so far of this week. By the time Edward's home, you've fallen asleep on your next to your laptop until the next morning."

"Can't," she said, still typing. "I've got a deadline to meet. There's no time to waste."

"You do realize that you are tiring yourself because of this, right?"

"I have to if I want to finish this."

With a sigh, I stood up, making my way towards Leah. I rubbed her shoulders. "Look, why don't you rest for a few minutes? Stretch and eat something before you go back to work? You still got a lot of time to finish up."

She leaned back on her rotation chair, taking a deep breath. "I suppose I can, but you know I'll have to get right back to work."

"I know."

She nodded. "Alright. What do you wanna do?"

I pointed to the open door. "How about we eat lunch? You haven't eaten since breakfast." At the same moment, Leah's stomach growled.

She laughed. "Well I am hungry."

I beamed. "Great! Let's go. There's enough food downstairs to make us a couple of our favorite sandwiches."

~:~

The splattering of the heavy rain outside is like music to my ears. I find it cool that when it rains, I can fall asleep easily. I have music playing from my iPod playing on the speakers. I'm this close to falling asleep. If I hear thunder, then I'll be asleep in seconds.

Leaning against the window, I watch as raindrops pelt against the glass of my closed window.

Drip, drip, drip.

I lay my head against the window, too engrossed with watching the rain. I don't know why, but I find it my favorite hobby to do.

Should I give up

Or should I keep on chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Another Adele song. Weird. So far, my iPod has played three songs straight from Adele. It's in shuffle too, which makes it more ironic.

Then again, there are a lot of things in my life that are ironic.

I hear my cell phone vibrate next to me on the bed. Another ironic thing. Who would call at eleven o'clock at night? Alice or Rosalie would, but I bet they're asleep by now.

When I look at the screen, I see that it's Alice's number on the screen.

I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Bella? Is that you?"

"Yeah. What's up Alice?"

"You gotta get down to Queen's. There's been an accident."

I sat up, feeling my heart beat faster against my chest. "At where?"

"On the H1 freeway. Oh Bella... you now how Leah and Jacob were going out for the day right?"

"Yeah..." While I was at work, Leah told me that she would spend the day with Jacob.

"Well on the way home, Leah and Jacob were hit by a truck that was being driven by a drunk driver. The driver barely survived, but Leah and Jacob lost so much blood. The impact hit them much more than the driver. Oh god..." Alice started crying. "They're dead."

~:~

At the hospital, I watched as my friends stared at the sheets that were covering the bodies of Leah and Jacob. Alice was sobbing against Jasper's chest. Emmett and Rosalie were in the hallway, too upset to see Alice and Jasper crying. I stood in the corner of the room, my eyes trained on Edward.

Edward wasn't crying like Alice and Jasper were, but his eyes held an emotion I've seen rarely. It's the emotion I've seen when Edward moved away to Ewa Beach. It was the emotion I've seen when Edward went to Tokyo for college. He was broken.

He wasn't the only one. Even I'm upset that we lost Leah and Jacob. They've been good friends to me over the years. But to see them dead at a young age... it's such an indescribable feeling.

And Edward... I'm worried about him the most. He's just lost his wife in an accident. Anyone would be upset to see the person that they loved the most dead. First Erika, then Leah. I find it ironic that Edward keeps losing girls that he finds himself falling in love with.

Then there's the dead Jacob. I wonder if he had the chance to tell Leah he loved her before they died... I can't believe that he had to die on the same day that Leah did. The only thing that I'm happy about in this situation is that I hope Leah and Jacob are happy together in heaven...

I walk over to Edward, who's sitting on the floor with his head buried between his bent knees. His body was shaking and he was silently sobbing.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why is it that these things happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?"

I sit next to him and pat him lightly on the head. "It'll be alright."

He shook his head. "No it wouldn't. I lost my wife, Brownie. I was upset when I moved away in high school. I was upset when I went to college miles away from you. I was upset when I lost my first girlfriend. But I've never been this upset. I'm this upset of losing Leah, who I can never see again. I'll never see her smile at me again. I'll never be able to kiss her again. I'll never be able to have kids with her, just like we were planning since we were married."

I lifted my head from his head and wrapped my arms around his shoulder. "Listen to me, Shiny Car. Leah wouldn't want to see you crying over her death like this. She would want you to move on, be with someone else that would make you happy. Be thankful that you were able to share these years with her. She was happy of them just as you were. You were able to share so many things with her that I bet she never did before. And marriage... that would have been one of the greatest blessings she ever had while she lived."

"But kids..." he protested.

"Never mind the kids. The point is that I don't like seeing you like this. I want to see the Edward that I know since high school. I want to see him smiling and telling me stupid stuff all day long."

He chuckled. "Well I can do this stuff."

I half-smiled. "Well, I'll leave you alone for a bit. I'm gonna go get Rose and Emmett back inside."

I was about to stand up when I feel one of Edward's hands grab onto my wrist. "Stay. Don't leave me."

"It'll only take a minute, Shiny Car."

He shook his head. "Please?"

I sighed. "Fine. If that's what you want."

"It is. And Brownie?"

"Yeah?"

"We'll always be great friends, even after my wife died along with her best friend."

~:~

"Goodbye Leah," Edward murmured, laying his rose on top of Leah's grave. "I'm so lucky to have known and married a wonderful woman like you." He turned to Jacob's grave and lay the other rose on top of it. "And you too Jake. Thank you for being there for Leah when I wasn't. She's lucky to have known an awesome friend like you."

"A fudge awesome friend," I clarified.

"You just added fudge to what I said," Edward said.

"So? That word makes it all the more better." I kneel down and gently place my roses next to the roses that Edward lay out seconds ago. "We all miss you, Leah and Jake. May you two forever be best friends and I hope you two are enjoying life up there."

"Up there?" Edward pointed his finger upward. "So you're saying they're in the sky?"

"No... they're up on Mars," I said sarcastically. "You two get my point, right?" I stand back up. "Hope you two live happily in heaven above."

~:~

A couple hours later, I'm at Edward's house, clinking my wine bottle with his. I decided to spend the night with him. I didn't want him to be alone on a night after the funeral of his wife and his wife's best friend.

We're on the couch in his living room watching Ghost Hunters. Ironic how we're watching something about ghosts... and... well you get the picture.

My head is against Edward's shoulder, feeling my eyes droop. It's late at night and I spent weeks with my friends planning and putting together Leah and Jacob's funerals.

Edward tapped my shoulder. "Hey. You asleep yet, Brownie?"

"No," I mumbled.

"You sound like it. You want me to go upstairs so you can get to sleep?"

"No... unless you want to." I felt the couch shift a bit. When I blink my eyes, I see that my head is on Edward's lap and his hands were stroking my hair.

He smiled down at me. "Get to sleep Brownie."

I yawned. "Aren't you sleepy?"

"Sorta, but I'd like to sleep down here with you if you don't mind."

"Well then." I settled myself more comfortably on his lap. "I don't mind. Good night Shiny Car."

"Night Brownie."

I close my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me. When I finally heard Edward's light snoring and his body slumping against the couch, I clutched his nightshirt and whispered "I love you."

I've been stupid. I was stubborn to ignore what my conscious and Jacob was telling me for years. I did love Edward, but more than just a friend. The reason why I was upset when Edward moved away to Ewa Beach and when he went to Tokyo was because I'd miss being around him. The reason why I didn't like Erika as Edward's girlfriend was because I wanted to be Edward's girlfriend. The reason why I had that sick feeling when Leah married Edward was because I wanted to be the one that Edward said "I do" to. The reason why I denied what Jacob told me during Edward and Leah's first dance was because I didn't want to admit that I loved him. Those were the reasons why I was desperate to never lose Edward as my best friend. I was in love with him. I was in love with my best friend for fourteen years straight and only realized it after the swirl of events that happened to us.

When I was about to fall asleep, I felt Edward's body froze.

Uh-oh.

"What did you say Bella?"

I'm dead.

My cheeks burned. He heard me. He heard me say those three words that I've never said to anyone except my family and friends. I try to silent, hoping that Edward would believe it was his imagination and go back asleep.

"Don't pretend you're asleep Brownie. I heard what you said."

I opened my eyes and saw that Edward's green eyes were staring deeply at me.

"What did you hear?" I asked nervously.

"You told me I love you. Is that true?"

"Oh gosh," I squeaked, jumping out of Edward's lap and heading for the front door. "I can't believe you heard me say that. You weren't supposed to hear that. I thought you were asleep and it was safe for me to say that. Pretend you didn't hear that. Please. I don't wanna make this awkward than it already is. I promise you'll never have to hear me say that again. I... I... I gotta go." I was about to open the door when I felt arms wrap around my waist.

"Don't, Shiny Car," I growled, yanking his arms out of the way. "Don't pity on me and tell me to stay. I know you don't love me the same way I do and it's okay."

"Will you just shut up Bella!" Edward quickly turned me around and pushed me against the wall. "Stop saying all that."

"I..." I started crying.

"Why did you wait until now to tell me that?" His arms were surrounding my waist, so it made it impossible for me to escape. "Fourteen years Bella! You waited fourteen years until you could tell me that?" His lips crushed against mine insistently. He was kissing me roughly that I couldn't even breathe when he broke away. "We wasted so much time Bella! Why couldn't you have told me that in high school? I wouldn't have went to Tokyo! I would've stayed here like you wanted! Like I wanted! But I had to because it was what I planned! We would have been so happy together. We would've been married, and we would've been doing all the things that I did with Leah. I could've kissed you more. I could've been with you at least once. Didn't you know how hard it was to leave after we had our first on prom night?" He was breathing hard, but he still wasn't done speaking. "I wouldn't have suffered of thinking of why I kept losing the girls that I was with. I didn't mind when it was with Erika, but when Leah died, I lost hope of ever finding love again." He kissed me again, and I realized that there were tears leaking from his eyes.

"Edward..."

"I love you Bella. I don't care if it's way overdo."

I couldn't believe it. All this time...

"So don't you dare walk out the door and tell me you lied about saying you loved me."

My hands, which were pressed against the wall, finally reached up to wrap around Edward's neck. I was hesitant, but with the way his eyes were filled with the amount of love that I've never seen before in anyone, I wasn't afraid of what he'd do.

"I won't," I stated firmly.

"Good," he led me to the couch, where he settled on top of me and began peppering kisses on my neck. "Now will you get to sleep? We'll talk in the morning."

I yawned for the second time tonight.

"Sounds like a yes."

I smiled. "I love you, Shiny Car." I was scared of saying those words, now that I know that the boy I was saying it to felt the same way.

"I love you too Brownie." He fell to the side, where he reached for the quilt on the floor and lays it on top of the both of us. He kisses my forehead before he closes his eyes and falls asleep.

I lay my hand on top of his chest, feeling the even beating of his heart. His heart, which now I had the access I wanted. And my heart, which he now has. Then again, he's always had it.

We still had a lot to talk about, but with the way today has gone, I wasn't afraid of what tomorrow will bring.

---

So that's it? Did you like? Again, this is as closest as I'll ever get to angst stories. And, as usual, there are roots tied to this fic that I bet you haven't noticed.

Teachers that were mentioned (Mr. Tamura, Ms. Burdios & Mr. Matsumoto) are my actual teachers right now! They're my ninth grade teachers who teaches the subjects that were in the story. Bet ya didn't see that coming, huh? xD

The nickname Shiny Car that Bella gives to Edward is the exact same nickname that people in my Japanese Club call my guy friend. For what reason... I don't know!

Bella losing as Bowser while playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl is based by a personal experience that happened to me. Trust me, the memory is memorable.

Edward moving to Tokyo for college is based by a friend who's planning to go to Tokyo for college.

As for the ending, yes, I agree it was rushed. I DO have a reason. Bella and Edward spent 14 years not knowing of each other's feelings, & it was just too much to take, which was why they expressed their feelings at an unexpected moment for them in the end. I don't have plans to make this into a full fic, but I'm under consideration to put this as a two-shot, which will explain what happens the next morning after they said their "I love you's". Honestly, I wanna do it. It'll give you the chance to learn what resulted after the end since it was too soon.