To Show You.
Pinned to the table by a tall, rough boy with big hands and a warm mouth; he makes sweet, hot love to you, desperate to show you that he's still the boy you fell in love with and that he never meant to hurt you the way he did.
He kisses your mouth and it feel like he's trying to taste your soul; he kisses your neck and shoulders and chest and he doesn't need to worship you, but you know he likes to. And God, but it's nice to be craved and venerated. He doesn't just want you – you know that – he needs you. He needs to be close to you like he needs air to breath. He was trapped without oxygen for so long he nearly lost all sense of who he was, but with you he's a human once again.
You'll forgive him, one day. You've pretty much forgiven him now. It's hard not to when he's so earnest and sweet and he wants you so badly. He'll kiss you against a brick wall where anyone might walk by; he'll lick your neck in broad daylight with people surrounding you on either side; he'll take the opportunity of Nassar and your Papa being late to draw you back into the office to make love, loosening your tie and undoing the buttons on your shirt, slipping his hand inside and touching your skin, pressed up close to your back with the tip of his nose grazing your neck and his breath on your shoulder, undoing the rest of the buttons and pulling your shirt off your shoulders, stroking the back of your neck to keep you close as you divest him of his own shirt, turning off the light as he promises that he's with you and kissing you and kissing you until you melt beneath him and the rest is history.
The risk of this is worth it, for him. It's worth it for the moment when he takes a long sip of champagne and pulls your head – in the process of kissing the top of his chest – to right where he wants it as he opens his mouth and lets the champagne flow from his mouth to yours before kissing it back again.
It's worth it because in every press and stroke and caress of his big, work-worn but still somehow beautiful hands, you can feel that he loves you. In every kiss and gesture and touch, you know that if only he could he would marry you in the laundrette with the entire world watching.
You will forgive him because you love him, and you love him because he's the best and the worst of you.
And you are with him.