Title: Family
Author: Here's Your Cheese Omelette
Summary: Because despite problems, despite everything that happened between them, they're still family. And with family, you just try to make things work.
A/N: Just what I thought the other Asian countries would want to tell Yao when they realize Yaoi isn't as strong as he wants people to think he is. Written on limited knowledge, so I apologize for any inaccuracies regarding their personalities. UNBETA-D
A/N2: I actually made this a few months ago, but only realized now that I didn't post it on FF. I did, though, on LJ and my FB. Enjoy!
1
October 16, 2011
I bought you because someone suggested writing would help me express myself better. I listened because he was one of the countries closest to my age and could understand my problems, at least a little; though I know that no one could really understand what I'm thinking. After all, everyone is years apart from myself.
There are a few who are close to my age, but we're completely different in personalities and lifestyles. My problems wouldn't matter to them, or even apply to them.
I'm glad I listened to him though. I rather like this method of expressing myself. The feel of paper and pen between my fingers as opposed to the technology of today's world makes me feel relaxed. I've always been a traditional person, and somehow being in my element is helping me be honest with myself.
I'll get straight to the point.
I'm lonely.
I honestly feel left out.
I know that's my own mistake because I don't make an effort to try and go along with everyone else, but my past efforts to fit in have been in vain and it doesn't really inspire one's self to try harder for the second time. I'm old. Everyone has grown up and I'm just old. I guess you could call me that out-of-date old timer who should be put in a retirement home so he won't be a bother to the young 'uns.
No one cares about me anymore.
I've done my part in life. I've raised my siblings to be good kids- to be good adults- and that's what they already are. I'm done.
I finish my journal entry with a signature of my name. I'm tired. The years of living always catch up to me when I feel down life this. My eyelids begin to droop and I shut the notebook. I'll take a short nap, I decide. I'm sure Kiku won't mind if I rest for a bit during our 'family reunion'. I'm old, after all.
2
When I walk in the room I left China in, I found him asleep. Taiwan, Hong Kong, South Korea and I decided to have dinner and went to call our eldest member, before deciding what to eat. I returned to the rest of my siblings and announced my find, implying it would be best to not disturb him. Im Yong Soo however did not sense that that was what I meant and ran to Yao's room to wake him.
We all chased after him because we knew South Korea would indeed wake up our China; but when we arrived at Yao's room, it seems he was still asleep. Instead of waking up China, South Korea's attention seemed to have been diverted elsewhere; as he was holding a plain brown notebook in one hand, and quickly pushing us out of the room with the other.
"Look what I found!" South Korea said, once we were outside. "It's China's diary."
"Are you sure?" Hong Kong said, trying to hide his interest. Being around him for many years allowed the rest of us Asian countries to distinguish the tiniest changes in his generally expressionless face.
"I've only read the first two lines, but I'm pretty sure!" He replied. Im Yong Soo has always been obsessed over China. The rest of us don't share his feelings so we can't understand his deep fascination with anything that could help one earn his approval, however we did understand that no one could stop him from reading Yao's diary.
After a few minutes however, South Korea's face began to look somber.
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"I think you guys should read what he wrote here."
And we did.
And we all felt bad in our own way.
A little guilty about our own pasts and histories with China.
In the end, we each decided to write a note for our brother, taking one page each, as to not read each other's letters. Im Yong Soo volunteered to start.
.
October 16, 2011
China, remember those mind reading binoculars I made? Yes, I admit that I made them now. Do you know why I denied making them back then? Because when I used them, and looked into your mind, and read that you are annoyed by me, that I disappoint you, and that you are devastated by my very existence, I couldn't bear it. It was easier to say my invention was broken than admit this was the truth.
Please don't say you're done, that we want to get rid of you, because we don't.
At least, I'm sure I don't.
You know I adore you. That all I really want to for you to acknowledge me. To know you think we don't want you around hurts me, because I do want you around. Even if you don't want me around you.
Im Yong Soo
South Korea
.
October 16, 2011
Before anything, let me say that I will always prefer Kiku over you. However…
I'm sorry if the reason you feel this way is because I don't respect you in the way you want me to. I'm sorry if I hurt you by talking back to you. This is just who I am- who you helped raise me to become. I'm a spitfire. Being raised in a family of boys made me like this.
I'm not complaining though. I never did.
You taught me so much, teacher. And despite me not showing it, I'm grateful for everything you've done for me. And you're not out-of-date. Classics are timeless treasures, and we always have something to learn from them. I'll always have something to learn from you. And I hope you'll continue to teach me.
Mei
Taiwan
.
October 16, 2011
Teacher, thank you for taking care of me when I was younger.
I know the reason you feel lonely is because you're afraid that we'll leave you again. You're afraid that if you become close to us again, and we leave, it'll break your heart even worse than before; and you won't recover from it. I can't speak for everyone, but I want you to know that I'm here to stay this time. I won't leave you.
I'm sorry if we've made you feel like an outcast.
I kind of know how it feels to be left out. People don't really talk to me because I can't bother making expressions for them. They don't know I'm actually pretty mischievous, like you know I am. That's why even though you scold me for drawing lewd drawings, I still do it.
To be honest, I like seeing you scolding me. Despite our differences, it gives you a reason to come talk to me. If I did what you said and stopped, would you still come see me?
I know I may not seem like the best person to talk to. My face doesn't give much reassurance after all; but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I may not look like it, but I'm willing to listen.
Iceland told me once that I'm one of the best people to talk to. Because sometimes, when you want to let out your problems, the person to go to isn't someone who would respond and react to what you're saying, rather, it's someone who would just stay quiet and let you talk away endlessly.
Even if you think you shouldn't trust me with your secrets, if ever you want to talk to someone, I'll listen to you.
Kaoru
Hong Kong
.
October 16, 2011
I will still deny that we are brothers, and I will not apologize for my betrayal. However, I guess it is only right for me to give you closure on our past.
You had no business deciding for me that we were to be brothers; however, I do appreciate the thought. I never wanted to be under somebody. When I was younger, all I wanted was to become a stronger nation, and that led me to betray you. Though it seems my decisions weren't all well thought out because you won in the end.
I know you still consider me your brother. And that you are saddened that war made us enemies.
Let me just say that that was the past.
Although I still do not wish to be brothers, and the road to reconciliation will be rough for us both, there is time. And with time, anything can happen.
War changed you. And war changed me.
If our past selves could not be friends, maybe our current selves can.
I know this is a lot to ask from you, but I at least want to make things right.
Kiku Honda
Japan
.
After Kiku wrote his note, the four of them quietly returned to notebook to its rightful place and left Yao to sleep.
3
The next day, the four Asians found Yao's notebook on the dining table. The pages that had been written on were torn out, and instead were two notes. The first announced that he left for home. The second was a reply to their notes.
October 17, 2011
When I awoke, I checked my journal and saw that it had been meddled with. Four fellow adults had somehow seen what I had been trying to keep secret and made their messages to me about it. This is all I have to say to them:
Thank you.
Just give me time, and I'll be okay.
You've become good adults, and it's time I grow up too. I keep saying that I'm old, but in reality, I'm just been hiding in the past. I've been hiding in my memories and that kept me from moving on.
Just give me time.
I'll be okay.
I'm glad someone suggested we meet every year. I don't remember who it was who suggested it, but I think it's a good idea. We're family, after all. In a way. A dysfunctional Asian family, but family no less. We may no longer be siblings to each other, but we are family.
I'll see you next year guys.
Yao Wang
China
A/N: I wrote this while listening to Who You Are by Jessie J. I think it's a fitting song to accompany this story- both break my heart. I cried while writing the letter of Im Yong Soo, because I can relate to it the most.
"It's okay not to be okay."
Reviews would be nice. :)