Greenbacks

The familiar tune blasted out of the screen as the presenter said:

'Welcome to the Martian Multi-Media Network, I am Anna King and this... is fifteen minutes!'

Another dramatic 2blast of the tune rang out.

'Tonight, we talk with Malxx Luhdryll of the Regus clan, leader of the "Society for the Liberation Native Martians". Good evening.'

'Its a pleasssure to be here.' Malxx rasped. His skin showed him to be quite young among the native martians, though he still wore the traditional armoured form that some of the more humanised had removed.

King jumped straight into the interview. 'How do you respond to the allegation of former governor Walter Grimace that "It was a mistake to allow "those green skins" any rights. I would not allow an Ice Warrior into my children's school and I would shoot one if it came on to my estate."?'

'Well it isss necssesssary to distingwissh between...' he breathed heavily attempting to make his voice sound as eloquent as possible in the decarbonised atmosphere of the station studio, 'the viewss of a minority... those ssush as the former governor,' he took another deep breath, the heat of the studio lights was also making his composure problematic, but he was able to maintain it, '... and offf the resst of the population who I believe are accepting of usss.'

'What about a recent poll by the Hourly Telepress that claims that almost seventy-five percent of Terrans think Native Martians are demanding too many rights too quickly?'

All of this did not filter through to the mind of Professor Elaine Rosenberg, who was passed out on the bed with MNNN still on. This current lecture tour was wearing her out, having only just got off of Phobos. That had been a particularly bad trip. A bunch of elderly tourists, who had no interest in archaeology outside of their idealised images of adventure or on how much their fake bit of 22nd Century Dalekenium shell was worth. However, it kept her publisher off her back and now she was collapsed in a drink-fuelled sleep on the Martian surface, where she would have to give a lecture to some archaeology students. She was not really looking forward to this one either. They were usually filled with those who were having adolescent fantasies about her or those who believed they had found holes in her research. Even worse some of them were right.

'Are you not then a violent species?' continued the pursuing voice of Miss King.

'Absssolutely not. We renounsse any form of protest which is...' Malxx took in another breath, 'violent.'

A click opened the door to the simple bedroom. Elaine did not stir.

'Then what about the use of the term Ice Warrior? Is it not true that some of your people use that term to refer to yourselves?'

A big dark figure moved slowly across the room, shuffling its heavy stepped feet to avoid making heavy footfalls.

'It isss true that some of the other clanss do refer to themselvesss as ssuch, although I do not believe... that anyone in my organiissation does so.' Maxlxx took in another breath.

The figure advanced further towards Elaine moving its pincer like hands upwards slowly.

'Thisss is out of pride for our heritage. Jusst as some Terrranss refer to themselves as membersss of a country they haffe never been to.'

Elaine rolled over and her arm was caught in the grip of a green claw.

'I do not believe any Martiansss, Terran or Naative, wish for violence to come to thisss world.'

And the last thing Elaine saw was the visor of an Ice Lord.

Chapter One

A wheezing grating noise was made in the side of the Vulcan memorial marketplace, apparently coming from a vacant archway. However, all the tellers were too involved in their own business to pay attention. These local traders were competing with the interplanetary corporations and the loss of one sale could destroy them. Out of the vacant lot a whirring noise came and the black screen disappeared.

'Lucie Miller meet the Planet Mars,' said the Doctor triumphantly stepping out of the archway.

The frock-coated figure was followed by one younger in years and even more so in experience.

'It...' she began.

'Amazing. Beautiful. Awe-Inspiring. The Jewel in the Crown of the Human Empire?'

'...really stinks!' she exclaimed in her northern accent. 'Seriously Doctor, what is that smell!'

The Doctor looked confused for a moment and then sniffed the air thoughtfully.

'Bacteria... decomposing plant-life... faecal matter...a hint of phosphorous and just a dash of woodchip. Probably from that composting unit we landed next to.'

'So in other words you landed us next to a rubbish skip.' Lucie said slightly bitingly

'I think it's a good spot. Secluded...Plenty of shade...What more do you want?'

'I don't know. Somewhere that doesn't stink, isn't a swamp and not a million miles, or years, from where we are planning to go?'

'When have I ever done any of those?'

'Lets see. Just now; in Fifteenth Century Ireland; Alpha Centuri a few minutes ago; and for my Gran's Sixty-Fifth Birthday party.'

'Now, I already apologised for that one, and besides it wasn't that far out.'

'I almost interrupted her twenty-first!'

'See, no where near a million.' The Doctor replied in a semi-victorious tone.

'Shut-up you!' she said, knowing he was joking with her. 'Anyway, why are we here? I mean other than to sample the local refuse.'

'I thought you wanted to see Mars after humans had colonised it.'

'Yeah but you rarely go where I suggest unless you have another reason.'

'I don't. I always go where you want.'

'Come on. You've been hinting at this for ages.'

'Was I really that obvious?'

'Yeah... pretty much.'

'I have an old friend I wanted to catch up with and a little while ago I saw she was doing a lecture tour which was coming here.'

'An old friend...?'

'It seems like a lifetime since I saw her... What do you mean friend?'

'Well some people are mates...like you and me... and some are friends....'

The Doctor looked like the TARDIS translation circuit had broken down again.

'Oh never mind. You are useless you are! Anyway you better check the date is right and that she hasn't cancelled or something.'

'Knowing her she's more likely going to have an attack of veisalgia.'

'What's that?' Lucie said concerned.

'A hangover.'

Lucie burst out a small laugh and almost gave him a slap, however the Doctor had wandered up to a market seller with a big grin on his face.

'You interested in a lovely bit of Krinea silk pal, locally made. Would look lovely on your girlfriend over there?'

'We're not a couple, we're just good friends, and I don't think she'd be all that keen on it. She's a bit funny about stuff that comes out of millipede's bottom.'

'Well I think I have something for your friend, got some material perfect for Chav-Chique.'

'Hey, what did you say?' Lucie cried out at the stallholder, taking offence.

Attempting to defuse the situation before it got out of hand he changed the subject. 'I wandered if you give me the date and time.'

He responded with a date that meant nothing to Lucie but apparently pleased the Doctor.

'Excellent. We've got about two hours to get there. Hopefully, Elly won't cancel the talk.'

The man looked at him with what appeared to be either concern or confusion. 'You don't mean Professor Rosenbrg's lectures do you?'

'Yes I do. You wouldn't happen to be going too. We'll help you pack up and then I can tell you of the times I met her. How about when we met the Krishal or when she jumped a drunk Lord Palmerston...'

'Actually mate...'

'I know!' The Doctor interrupted excitedly, 'The time I became a professor from the early 20th Century, everyone loves that one.'

'You mean you haven't 'eard? Have you two been in suspended or what?'

'Heard what?' The Doctor said, reducing his talking speed back to normal.

'She's been kidnapped.'

The Doctor face moved from one of excitement to one of decisive action so fast that Lucie was caught off guard.

'Kidnapped!' exclaimed Lucie.

'Who by? How long ago? Where? What do the police know?' The Doctor fired the questions at the man with increased speed and agitation.

'What do I look like?' said the stallholder taken aback, 'A free infopoint! Now are you going to buy some material or let me earn a living.'

After some running around the local cyberlinks to find a quiet enough one, the Doctor gained access to an infopoint and got on to the telepress. The information was haphazard at best. Little was said about the investigation and most was on whether this showed that Martians were not evolved enough to have equal rights. Sucking down his rage at these articles the Doctor was able to dig through for the released facts.

'So here is what we know.' The Doctor explained to Lucie, who was sitting across a paper strewn table clutching some hot, brownish liquid. 'Professor Rosenbrg checked into the student halls of Touchdown City, two hours after landing having gone to the bar and drank most of the rest of the occupants under the table.'

'And considering it was students, we can assume it was a large amount.'

'Just the facts Lucie. Besides Elly could always hold her own.'

'Sorry.'

'That's okay.' He said sighing. 'This has just rattled me.'

'But I'm always getting kidnapped. You'd have thought you'd have been used to it by now.' She said with nervous humour.

The Doctor sighed again. 'The difference is I should have been here to protect her. Anyway, Facts!' He looked down again at the flurry of papers. 'She was taken up to her room by the nightwatchman who ensured the door was locked.'

'Could he have been lying?' Lucie interjected.

'Possible but unlikely. Security guards are trained to be unoriginal and honest. Another hour and a half afterwards one student, a Marie Rooth, was returning home late claims she saw the outline of a Native Martian carrying something heavy out of an emergency door. However, she assumed it was probably a cleaner and left it alone. However, later reports revealed that there was no martians on the staff that night and that door had been digitally locked. Just before dawn, the nightwatchman found both aforementioned door's digital locks had been scrambled. On further investigation Professor Rosenbrg was found to be missing. At around the same time a message was delivered to the Martian Multi-Media Network from a group called the Martian Liberation Front. The message demanded that all human colonists must make plans to withdraw from the planet before the Caryllax...'

'Caro-what?' Lucie interrupted

'Caryllax' The Doctor repeated 'It's a traditional Martian festival, to celebrate their fallen warriors. Like your remembrance day, only most of the old festivities are now banned, at least officially. It should begin officially in two to four days, depending upon the tribe and their interpretation of the calendar, you see back in the reign of...'

'Lets skip the local history and get back to the message. If all earthlings don't get ready to leave in the next few days...'

'... Professor Rosenbrg will be the first of many deaths.' The Doctor looked grim.

'Okay then?' Said Lucie. 'What's the plan?'

'Plan?'

'Yeah you know. You come up with a brilliant plan. I save your butt when it goes pear-shaped. What we do on almost every planet we end up on?'

'You... Save me?'

'Of course. Your pretty little locks are always getting into trouble.'

They laughed together, only slightly and nervously but it was enough. Lucie needed to get her Doctor back again.

'Thank you.' The Doctor said with a slight smile gleaning through.

'Anytime, it's my job. I also dispense sarcasm, screams and occasional monster slaying! So what are we doing my brainy sidekick?'

Ignoring Lucie with another smile the Doctor said, showing some of his old joie de vivre within the grim determination. 'We investigate. I'll deal with the police. You pose as a transfer student in inter-planetary history and archaeology, just arrived yesterday. We'll go find a place to get you initiated with the rest of the student body first.'

'To the Student Union.'

'I had expected something a bit different .' Said Lucie, as she stepped down to enter the SU.

'Different how?' said the Doctor walking beside her.

'You know, all high tech and stuff... a little bit more Star Wars-y...'

'Lucie, that was a film, several centuries ago.'

'So was The Time Machine, but that didn't stop you.'

'Firstly, that design is a classic. And, secondly, inevitably all student bars revert, more or less, to three forms traditional, modernist or industrial.'

'And this is modernist is it? White walls, wood panelling and adorned with tasteless gold medallions?'

'Its just got a bit of Early 21st Century Kitsch, its becomes the in-look.'

As they walked onwards to the bar, Lucie looked around. All the students seemed to be chatting amiably, some having a laugh, some apparently more so than others. However, something was bothering her.

'Doctor?' Lucie said quietly

'Hmm?'

'What's with the students?'

The Doctor scanned the room briefly.

'How do you mean?' He said, unsure of the number of ways things could be strange about students.

'They're all... well... so... human. I thought this place would be full of all different species. This lot could be from Bailrigg."

The Doctor took out his fob watch, flipping open the cover. He examined it briefly (although Lucie couldn't follow what he was looking at), then tucked it back into his waistcoat pocket.

'Wrong period.' He told Lucie close to her ear. 'The interspecies civil rights act isn't due to be signed for another Earth month, and Salgar Vs the CEA isn't a year old, so very few non-humans have access to this level of education. Founder's college is very hard to enter, even if the Green Bar was removed.'

By this point they had reached the bar and the conversation ended.

'So, how do I get in with these people?' Said Lucie.

'Watch and learn.' The Doctor then proceeded to jump onto a wooden cube and, like a town crier or soapbox speaker, cried out 'A round of drinks on my friend here.'

By the time the Doctor had slipped her the credit stick, she had already made five new friends.

A good few hours, and several rounds later, Lucie and the Doctor were sitting with their group of new friends, mostly leaning back in their rounded cubicle semi-inebriated. They were, respectively, Thomas, an Actuarial Scientist whose father headed up a division of the Intergalactic Mining Corporation, Dido, a violinist who seemed totally uninterested in her linguistics degree, Jacob, a dark and moody fellow whose degree sounded like it consisted of writing drug induced poetry, and Claudius, a politics student who seemed to believe that everyone else needed to hear his views, as they were clearly always correct, and whose Dad's connections allowed him access to the corridors of Central City. It was Claudius who was once again speaking.

'Now, you see the problem with Martian society is obvious. They are too clan orientated. History has shown, us time and time again, people whose family ties are too strong can never develop civilisation capable of interplanetary travel. They become too stifled, their society stagnates. This will lead to the collapse of Draconia before Earth, let me tell you.'

'What about the Pandonnian Empire? Are you saying it is superior?' retorted Thomas

'Of course not. If you had read the works of Garnet, you would see it shown that they have too few restraints, they will destroy themselves by being too wild and hedonistic. It is only the perfect balance which the Terran Empire has established which will endure, the true everlasting empire without borders.'

Under normal circumstances Lucie would have told him he was a little Hitler and done something with his drink that would have made walking uncomfortable and procreation nearly impossible, but she knew the Doctor had to find Elaina, and if he could sit calmly through this dross then so could she. He was her best friend, it had been uncomfortable to start with but now she felt he understood her better than she did and she would trust him with her life. In fact she usually did.

'... don't you think?'

Everyone around the table was staring at her.

'What?"' She addressed at Claudius, who had apparently spoken.

'That the archaeological record shows that Earth does not share characteristic with the decadence of dead planets.

'I think...' She said, struggling the urge to punch him, '...I could do with another drink.' With that she walked up to the bar. She wished she could look interested yet blasé as the Doctor seemed to manage so well. He also somehow managed to avoid any alcohol without comment. She wondered what timelord's were like inside. Could they get drunk? Was it lethal to them? Or was he just such a lightweight he would be singing Gallifreyan nursery rhymes after his first half?

'Hey luv, where'd ya get that lot from? It's well bang!'

Looking around from that verbal assault she looked around to see two women who she instantly thought of as stunning. The one on the left was petit with midlength red hair with an arm covered in clearly painted tattoos and an outfit which looked both tacky and expensive at the same time. The other wore a matching outifit but was much taller, with peroxide blonde hair all down her back.

'What?' said Lucie, both stunned and confused.

'We were wondering where you got your outfit from?' said the same girl in an accent which now sounded like a bbc newsreader. 'Sorry, we thought you'd come from the retro party too.'

'No, 'fraid I just wear this stuff normally.'

'Wow, that's sooo shamein'!'

Lucie was completely lost and it apparently showed.

'Sorry about Lillith, she thinks she's really "with it"' said the taller of the pair with almost visible quotation marks, 'I'm Belle.'

'Lucie.' She told them as the barman stared at her unblinkingly. 'The same again mate' she said to him. He started making the drinks but didn't appear to keep his eyes of her. 'Hey, What's your problem?'

'Oh don't worry about Andy. He needs to go in for a complete overall' Belle told her. 'So what are you taking?'

'Erm... Interplanetary History and Archeology?'

'No way. We're taking that too. Haven't seen you in any of the classes?'

'I just transferred in today. You wouldn't happened to have been going to see Professor Rosenberg would you?'

'Only, of course!' said Lillith, 'We've read everything she's written.'

'Hey, you look like a girl who likes to have a bit of fun.' Said Belle. 'Why don't you come with us? We know a great club out here and we can show you where the real fun is.'

'Sure, sounds great.' Said Lucie, knowing she might be able to find out something important. 'I better just deliver this round of drinks and grab my bag.'

'... and then I said to the president of Earth, "madame, this dog is more intelligent than you'll ever be...' said the Doctor, reciting another anecdote to the enraptured\inebriated crowd. Rather them than her thought Lucie.

'Hey Doctor,' she said, 'I'm going out clubbing with those two. See you later, or tomorrow.'

The Doctor turned his head in the direction she had indicated and frowned at the figures of Belle and Lillith.

'Lucie, you are aware they're...'

'Yes, I know. I don't come from the 19th Century. I think I can cope with their advances. Gawd I wouldn't have thought you to be the old fashioned one.'

'Alright, as long as you...' But by that point she had already walked away.

There was a seconds silence in the group before Thomas said, 'Well, if she says she can cope with psychic vampires. Then I suppose you can trust her.f