Author's Note: I'm not sure if this is a crossover or an alternate universe. Basically, I wrote a drabble of Cas as a Dalton Warbler and a friend wouldn't stop bugging me for more so I caved and wrote this for her. There's a brief cameo from Blaine, but that's about it as far as canon Glee characters go. I guess that means it's an AU.
Everyone in his family has always gone to Dalton Academy for Boys, even Gabriel who did his best to get thrown out. Castiel is following another Novak tradition. The first of many his parents will except him to follow. His first day at Dalton he breaks with tradition and signs up to try out for the Warblers.
His family is strictly one that does sports for extracurricular activity. His brother Michael was captain of the soccer team and the fencing team. He will do fencing because he's always admired the sport but singing is what he wants to do. He loves it. He has always loved it, since he first sang along with the radio as a little kid, stumbling over the words. He's happy when he's singing and while his parents will not understand the Warblers is something Castiel wants to do.
"And your name is?" The legendary Blaine Anderson asks when he steps into the practice room. He leads the council now that he's a senior and Cas has a little intimidated. Everyone knows just how good the senior is.
"Castiel Novak," he says calmly. He is intimidated, but he wants this and he will not be stopped.
"Your brother was captain of the fencing team when I started here. Michael, right?"
He nods. "He is at Princeton now."
"Great, great. So, what are you singing?"
"Find My Way, by the Gabe Dixon Band."
The Council nods at him and he takes a breath. He's used to singing along with the radio and acapella is something he's not terribly familiar with, but he can hear the music in his head and sings along with that instead of thinking about how he'll have to learn how to blend and harmonize. Right now, it's about his voice, just him.
"I don't mean to trouble your mind; I'm just trying to find my way home. Silently I'm seeking a kind of a way to get by on my own…"
He picked the song long before he came to Dalton. Castiel sees it as defining him. He loves his family, he does, but he wants to be his own person, find his own way. He throws his voice into the song, tapping his foot with the beat in his head.
The Council has polite listening faces down to a science. He has no idea how he's doing, if his rich tenor is impressing them or not. The nerves rise up, trying to trip him up but he shoves it down as he hits the bridge.
"All the time in the world. And everything I'll have heard. You know it's all in a word, destiny. I got to find my way, find my way. Find my way home."
When he finishes, he's a little breathless and he gets the same speech he's sure Blaine's given everyone. Call backs will be posted by the end of the week. He thanks them and walks out, calling the next boy in.
"Sam Winchester?"
A huge, gangling teenage boy gets up, clutching sheet music like a life line. Cas smiles, somewhat awkwardly, at him.
"Don't worry, it's not that bad," he says, though he doesn't usually approach strangers and have chats. It's not polite.
"Yeah? Thanks, man." Sam smiles nervously back before stepping into the practice room. Cas closes the door gently and finds himself wishing Sam luck.
Friday comes and they crowd around the practice room, waiting for the list to go up. Sam stands with him. They have Algebra together and have become friends. Sam is very intelligent but a little awkward. He's not always as polite as himself, but Cas likes spending time with him. They have vastly different tastes in music though. Sam likes classic rock and top forty pop. Cas likes folk and obscure artists.
"You keep checking your watch," he says when he notes Sam looking at his wrist for the fifth time within two minutes. "They said the posting will go up at four."
"My brother's picking me up for the weekend. He'll give me shit if I'm not ready by the time he gets here."
While Sam is a boarder his family lives nearby. He has been talking about home every day and Cas suspects Dalton is his first experience away from them. He thinks Sam likes the independence but misses the familiarity. Cas has felt similarly all week. He likes his dorm and his roommate is tolerable but he finds himself missing the chaos of his brothers and sisters.
"When is he supposed to get here?"
"Right now. Jesus, Sam, even in a uniform you stick out like a sore thumb."
Cas looks over at the newcomer who is more of a sore thumb than Sam. He is in dirty jeans, a tight shirt and a battered leather jacket. His boots clomp down the hall as he makes his way towards them, looking around like he's in an alien world. He can see the brotherly resemblance right away.
"Dean, come on." Sam huffs and looks around as a few people finally tear their eyes away from the practice room doors to see what's going on. "You couldn't wait in the car?"
"Nope." Dean pops the word. "I just had to see how you were doing in Hogwarts. Lose any house points yet?"
"Look, once they post the try out results we can go."
"Yeah, God forbid you miss out on the mathletes results." Dean shoves his hands into his pockets and rolls his eyes.
Cas is rather amused by the exchange. He's reminded of his brothers and their gentle teasing. Tonight he would Skype with Gabe.
"It's the Warblers. They're a big thing at Dalton," Sam grumbles under his breath, ducking his head. "If you want to be popular, you join the Warblers."
Dean makes a face, "You mean that stupid glee club? You're joining the glee club? Sam, you're going to be a virgin forever if you do that!"
Now the crowd is glaring at Dean, who doesn't seem to notice any of the looks. Cas is oddly fascinated. He's never met anyone with less tact than Gabe before.
"Dean, shut up!"
"Fine." Dean is silent for roughly a minute before his eyes land on Cas. "Virgin too?"
While the question is a bit surprising, Cas merely shrugs. "I enjoy singing."
"Then join a rock band, you'll get laid more. Groupies, man. Awesome."
Sam groans in embarrassment, hanging his head and hiding behind his bangs. Cas does not bother to answer. The Council has appeared and they are taping up the results. He starts to move forward to get a look, but someone grabs his arm. Dean is holding him back.
"You're friends with a human parascope. Chill, dude."
He shrugs off his hold, but waits. "I thought this was stupid."
"Oh it is." Dean throws in an eye roll, "But if Cindy Lauper here doesn't see the results, he'll whine the whole weekend and that shit is just annoying."
He can't decide if Dean is annoying, perplexing or amusing. He seems to be a strange combination of all three and he can't make up his mind. He doesn't get a chance because Sam grabs his shoulder and gives him a little shake.
"You're in, man! Castiel Novak, you're in!"
He grins, chest swelling with pride. He was a Warbler. His family would be upset but that didn't make the feeling go away. He was finding his way after all. Then he remembers his friend.
"And you?" he asks. He hopes Sam is in. He would like to start with a friend already in the club.
"Yeah, yeah, me too!" Sam holds up a hand and they high five while Dean looks on with a long, exasperated roll of his eyes.
That is, essentially, how his freshman year at Dalton academy goes. He balances his school work, the Warblers and fencing with a frantic sort of ease that Sam admires. He knows because his friend tells him so frequently when they're in the library together. Cas shrugs it off each time. He knows what is expected of him and he won't slip. His parents threatened to make him quit the Warblers if he can't keep his grades up. His father calls it a distraction, his mother calls it useless.
Oddly enough Gabe is the only one to support his decision. Even his sister, Rachel, who he is closest to thinks the Warblers are silly and a ridiculous waste of time. Yet, the Warblers become his friends, good friends. He's invited to parties, exchanges Secret Santa gifts and has friends in almost every class. For once, Castiel is part of the popular crowd, though he doesn't care much about status. He likes having friends.
Sam, however, is his best friend. This brings him in frequent contact with Dean. His opinion of the Warblers never changes, but he shows up to every performance. He even skipped a meeting with his parole officer to see them perform at Regionals. Sam tells him every time Dean gets into trouble, usually for fighting at school. Cas has trouble putting the bad boy Dean seems to project with the caring older brother who, though he denied it, had obviously teared up at their rendition of "As Time Goes By".
They don't go to Nationals that year. Dean rages about the judges the whole drive back to Dalton, much to Sam's embarrassment and Cas's amusement. He has never heard anyone use the word "fuck" so many times or so creatively as Dean Winchester. Sam apologizes as they walk back to their rooms but he shrugs it off. For some reason he likes Dean, rude and insulting as he is. Sam calls him crazy, he agrees, and they move on to discussing their upcoming Civics test.
When summer comes, Sam helps him pack up his room which means Dean also appears though he is more a hindrance than a help. Michael and Gabe come to pick him up. His parents don't need to visit Dalton. They've been many times. They'll see him when he arrives home. That is enough for them.
They are loading his things into the back of Michael's Land Rover when Dean looks over at him with an expression that makes him raise an eyebrow.
"Your older brothers are dicks," he says with his usual lack of tact.
Cas instantly feels defensive. His brothers are a bit difficult, yes, but they are his brothers and he loves them.
"Freakin' miracle you turned out as cool as you did."
His indignation dies away under a wave of surprised confusion. Dean thinks he's cool? That is very strange. He doesn't even get a chance to thank Dean before he's off to get another box and Gabe comes sprinting towards him with Michael hot on his heels. He leaves Dalton that year wondering if he can convince his parents to let him visit the Winchesters over the summer.
It is sophomore year before Castiel figures out that he may possibly have a crush on Dean Winchester. He has been aware of his sexuality for some time now so being attracted to another boy does not bother him. Being attracted to his best friend's brother? Yes, that is somewhat uncomfortable.
He has this epiphany during Warblers practice, of course. Music has always gotten through to him in a way words can't. They are practicing Crazy by the Barenaked Ladies, which has wonderful harmonies and a face pace that challenges them all to keep up and stay in tune.
Dean walks into the practice room like he owns the place, his swagger is unmistakable, and drops onto a couch kicking his feet up and settling in to listen. No one stops, breaks step or bats an eye. Dean began his little tradition of hanging out during practice towards the end of freshman year. He skipped Geometry to do so. Cas doesn't know what class he's skipping now, but he knows it's the only reason Dean is there.
"The lights are on but nobody's home. My elevator doesn't go to the top. I'm not playing with a full deck. I've lost my marbles," they sing, starting a round as soon as the altos finish the line.
Cas picks up the harmony and rhythm and the steps but he looks over to see Dean tapping a foot and grinning. Their eyes meet and Dean winks at him. He flushes and misses a step out of surprise. No one says anything, of course, because he is very good at recovering but that wink haunts him the rest of the day, even long after Dean has left and he is alone in his dorm room studying for his Spanish quiz.
It's very strange because Dean is very straight. Sam complained a great deal over the summer about catching Dean with various girls in various states of undress. If he's honest with himself Sam is the Winchester he should have a crush on. He spends most of his time with Sam, they have many of the same taste, except music. He has spent hours talking to Sam and yet when he thinks about or tries to think about Sam sexually, he feels nothing.
But when he thinks about Dean his stomach twists and he blushes. It's ridiculous. A crush on a straight boy is utterly foolish and stupid. He's not usually so ridiculous. His crushes are usually reserved for movie stars and perhaps a small one on Sherlock Holmes. Alright, more than a small one but not Robert Downey Jr.'s Holmes. The sophisticated Holmes, that's Cas's favorite.
"I don't think I need a rubber room, but hey, that might be nice," he sings under his breath, vowing to ignore his silly little crush. It will never go anywhere so he will wait until he finds someone more appropriate.
"You're staying here this weekend?" Sam looks amazed as they walk back to their dorm after History. "You can't do that, like, no one will be here."
"I'll get plenty of homework done then."
"Come on, Cas, we don't get many three day weekends. You've got to do something." Sam snaps his fingers. "Hey, come home with me. You'd have to sleep on the couch but it'd be better than staying here. We could see The King's Speech."
"Thank you, Sam, but I don't want to impose."
"Are you kidding? Ellen thinks you're like the best thing ever. She won't care. Come on, it'll be fun!"
That is how Cas ends up spending a three day weekend in the Singer-Harvelle-Winchester household. He has met Bobby Singer and Ellen Harvelle, the Winchester's godparents, before. Mr. Singer still intimidates him a little, but he is smitten with Ms. Harvelle. She looks after the household with a firm but loving personality that Cas soaks up when his visits. His mother is distant most of the time but Ms. Harvelle lavishes attention on him. He helps her with the dishes after dinner just to bask in her easy smile and quick wit.
The only slightly awkward part of the weekend is Jo Harvelle. She is Ellen's daughter from her first marriage and the impressionable young blond has a crush on him. Dean teases him about this all the time, batting his eyelashes and making kissy faces whenever he catches Jo watching Cas. He blushes every single time and resolutely ignores Dean. He does not like to look too long at his lips, he gets ideas.
His own crush doesn't seem to interfere with anything. It's mostly a mild infatuation and while Dean makes his pulse race a little it's not so debilitating that he can't hang out with him and Sam. They play a great deal of video games. Cas destroys both of them in any war game and Dean flattens them at racing games. Sam seems to lack the coordination for either game but he beats them at Apples to Apples on Family Game night.
All in all, the weekend is an amazing success. Cas is very glad he agreed to come and hopes that perhaps he can spend more weekends with the Singer-Harvelle-Winchester household. Then, late Sunday afternoon, right before Dean is supposed to drive them back to Dalton, he hears singing. He and Sam had practiced some harmonies on Friday night, putting on a small impromptu concert for the family. He knows Sam's voice and knows what he's hearing is not Sam. Someone else is singing in the garage.
Curiosity gets the best of him, as it often does. He pokes his head in the garage to see. What he sees is Dean bent over the open hood of his car, shaking his hips along to the radio which is actually turned down rather low. There's nothing to distract from Dean's voice and Dean's swaying hips.
"Dear momma I can hear you a'crying! You're so scared and all alone. Hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long."
Shockingly, Dean is very good. He sounds better than Sam who's baritenor Cas has always admired. Dean's voice is deeper, richer, though he does manage some of the higher notes in the song without his voice breaking. He doesn't seem to care that someone might hear him or that anyone could walk in on him singing into his wrench.
Cas is aware he is gaping at him, even though Dean can't see. He is possibly, maybe, a little bit falling in love. This is not the bad boy or the teasingly affectionate brother he has seen before. This is Dean, who is sort of a dork and apparently can't dance. Cas loves it. He watches until the song is over and Dean pats the engine affectionately.
"You love it when I sing to you don't you babe?" he says to his car, but all Cas can think is "yes, I do".
It's the last private moment Cas gets with Dean. That year he knocks up his girlfriend and ends up in juvie . He doesn't come back until the Warblers are on their way to Nationals, where they lose.
Junior year, Sam gets a girlfriend and his own car which means Cas sees less and less of him. It's fine because Cas makes friends with an exchange student from England named Balthazar. They bond instantly over embarrassing names and being teased for it stories. Balthazar can't sing, but he does play guitar. He asked once why Balthazar would play guitar if he can't sing and the other boy had laughed.
"It makes me look sexy, darling." Had been his flippant reply.
In an objective way Cas agreed. Balthazar was charismatic and charming. His accent meant people flocked around him just to hear him speak. Cas was amused by all the attention and his new friend's trickster ways but after a while it could be exhausting. He begs off when Balthazar invites him to his dorm room on Friday night of movies, popcorn and general goofing off. He claims he's going to write a paper in the library but he sneaks into the practice room instead.
He's taken to hiding here when he wants to be alone. It's very quiet and the couches are comfortable. He brought schoolwork with him but ends up sitting at the piano instead. He started taking lessons the summer of his freshman year and practices diligently. His teacher says he's got real talent and that it's a shame he didn't start sooner. He thinks it is too.
The more time he spends with music, whether with the Warblers or piano or Balthazar's terrible attempts to teach him guitar, Cas finds himself happier with it than anything else. He starts to play, turning the fast paced pop song into something slow, more a lament like he thinks it should be.
"After all the crushes are faded and all my wishful thinking was wrong I'm jaded. I hate it. I'm tired of being alone so hurry up and get here. So tired of being alone so hurry up and get here, get here."
"John Mayer? Fuck, Cas, you've got to get away from Sam."
He jumps, hitting the wrong notes as he looks towards the doors to see Dean looking at him like he's an idiot. He blinks for a second.
"What are you doing here?" he asks when he finds his voice.
"I was bored at home." Dean shrugs and grabs him back the back of his fencing t-shirt. "Come on, you're going to entertain me."
"What?" He scrambles after Dean before he can pull him off the piano bench and onto the floor. "Dean, you can't be serious."
Of course he knows Dean is serious. Whenever Dean suggests something crazy he's being serious. Over the years, Cas has come to accept that the part of Dean's brain that says "No, that's a stupid idea" is broken. It hasn't lessened his crush any. He sort of admires Dean's fearlessness.
"Judging from that piece of crap you were singing, you need to get out more," Dean says as he leads him down Dalton's halls like he goes to the school himself. "Though, gotta admit, your version was a little better."
"Thank you," he says. "Where are we going?"
"Somewhere." Dean shrugs and leads him out to his car. It's a sign of how much Cas trusts him that he follows. Or his crush has reached critical mass and he'll do anything to be around Dean even sneak out of Dalton two hours before curfew. Balthazar would be shocked. He can never talk him into any crazy pranks or rule breaking but for Dean, off he goes without batting an eye.
They end up in an empty corn field a few miles from the school. They can sort of see the stars so they climb onto the hood and lay back to look at them.
"Lisa's moving to Cincinnati," Dean says out of nowhere. "She's takin' Ben with her."
He never knows what to say when Dean brings up his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son. He doesn't really like Lisa who keeps Ben from Dean. He can see how much Dean loves his son.
"What are you going to do?" he asks. It seems neutral and safe.
"Don't know man. If I'm ever going to provide for him I've got to finish school. No way Bobby and Ellen are going to let me move with them and no way Lisa's parents are going to let me stay with them."
Cas puts a hand on Dean's arm. He sounds so frustrated but under it Cas can hear the hurt. "I'm sorry."
He knows Dean has changed. Since Ben and juvie, the bad boy has almost disappeared completely. Dean got a job to help support Ben. He studies hard at school instead of blowing off classes. This means he no longer appears at Warblers practices and while Cas sometimes misses him he likes the man Dean is becoming. Lisa's parents are still convinced Dean is good for nothing.
"This is where you break into song right?" Dean snorts. "Like a freakin' musical, we'll just sing until our problems go away."
"I don't really have a song for this situation," Cas says after a minute of quiet contemplation.
Dean chuckles, which was his intent, and pushes himself up onto his elbows to look down at him. He raises an eyebrow at him, questioning.
"You know, you're the only person I know who would do this. Go out to the middle a nowhere and listen to me bitch."
He shrugs. "We're friends, Dean. It's no trouble."
"Means a lot to me, Cas." Dean says it in such a way that makes his stomach twist and his palms sweat a little. Now is not the time for his feelings to take over. He is a friend only to Dean. He will remain there.
"Then you're welcome." He smiles at Dean, who smiles back. Cas pretends not to see anything else in the smile, though he swears there's something new. The moment certainly lasts too long and then Dean looks uncomfortable.
"Come on, I should get you back to Hogwarts." He jumps off the hood and walks around to the driver side.
Cas looks up at the stars a moment longer before following. The ride back is silent except for the radio. Dean doesn't try to talk to him and doesn't look at him. Cas suspects he is thinking about Ben and doesn't take it personally. Then as he is about to get out of the car Dean grabs him by the shoulder and turns him to face him. They are kissing before Cas can register the fact. They are done kissing before he can register the feeling of Dean's chapped lips against his.
He gets out of the car on autopilot and walks back to his dorm with his lips tingling.
Nothing changes. Cas doesn't know why Dean kissed him but it doesn't seem to matter. The next time Dean comes to pick up Sam, he doesn't come in to practice. He text Sam to let him know he is there, waiting outside. He thinks about going with Sam to say hello but chickens out. Dean may have kissed him, but it doesn't mean anything, obviously.
He rationalizes it. Dean was hurt about Lisa and Ben. He just needed some comfort from someone he trusted. After all, Dean was straight and that was the end of it. It was just a moment. One that leaves Cas wandering in a daze for the whole weekend. It stings a little but that's just his foolish crush. It's not Dean's fault. Dean has no idea how he feels. Cas isn't even sure what he feels.
He tells no one. Balthazar hounds him, Sam is quietly concerned but he says nothing. There's nothing to say. The boy he's half in love with kissed him and now is ignoring him. That's all there is and it's not worth the trouble his friends will start, especially Sam. He brushes off their concerns, say it's school and family. They eventually stop bothering him. Cas hopes the kiss will stop bothering him.
He returns to his dorm room on autopilot one night. When he hears someone playing guitar he gets a bit annoyed. He doesn't want to deal with Balthazar tonight. He wants to finish his homework and go to bed early. He is ready to give Balthazar a piece of his mind when he hears singing and the voice is too good to be his friend.
"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth. Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt. Still a little hard to say what's going on."
Dean. He stops in the doorway of his room and there he is, sitting on his bed with a guitar in his lap. He was aware Dean played, but the other boy had always claimed he wasn't that good. He thinks Dean must not think highly of himself because his singing and his playing are very good.
Dean's aware of him, he knows he is but he doesn't stop playing nor does he stop singing. He doesn't look at him though. He's watching his fingers on the neck.
"Still a little bit of your ghost you witness. Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed. You step a little closer each day that I can't say what's going on."
He steps into the room and closes the door softly behind himself. Whatever is going on, whatever this little serenade means, he doesn't want the rest of his dorm to hear it. Dean is playing for him. He must be. He wouldn't play this, a soft folk-rock ballad if it didn't mean something. It has to mean something. Cas can't take it if it's nothing.
"Stones taught me to fly. Love taught me to lie. Life taught me to die. So it's not hard to fall when you float like a cannon."
He sits down on his roommate's bed across from Dean. There is no way he can't know Cas is there. He puts his hands on his knees because his hands are shaking a little. He's nervous and licks his lips, trying to ease a little anxiety.
"So come on courage! Teach me to be shy 'cause it's not hard to fall and I don't wanna scare him. It's not hard to fall and I don't wanna lose. It's not hard to grow when you know that you just don't know."
The sudden silence is thick. Dean sets the guitar down, glances at him and then looks away out the window. Cas doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what to do.
"I don't even know if you like dude… like that," Dean says after awkwardly clearing his throat.
"I do," Cas says softly. It's the first time he's ever told anyone. Sam's never seemed to notice he doesn't look at girls at all. Balthazar is too focused on chasing any skirt or pair of slacks to care about what Cas might prefer.
"I don't, like, not normally. You're the first guy I've… noticed… like that."
"Is that why you kissed me?"
Dean nods and his heart flips over in his chest then slides down into his stomach. He takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders like he's about to step on stage.
"You could do it again, if you want."
Dean turns his head sharply, scowling slightly. "Cas…"
He tries to sit up straighter, raising his chin. "Or I could kiss you. Whichever you'd prefer."
He sounds confident enough, but his palms are sweaty and his heart is in overdrive. He doesn't think it could get faster but then Dean gets up and takes two steps towards him. The dorm room is very small, even though Dalton has quite a steep tuition. There's a second, a split second where they look at each other, one last chance to back out.
Then Dean's kissing him again, his mouth moving against his. Cas feels how chapped and rough they are. It's nothing like he's imagined, but sets every inch of him on fire. He grabs the front of Dean's shirt and pulls him closer. They tumble onto his roomate's bed, Dean pressing him down as he cups his face in his hands.
"Dean," he says when they stop for breath. "Please lock the door."
He laughs, a soft puff of breath against his lips. "I gotta sing soft rock to you more often."
He hums an agreement before kissing Dean. "Later, if you don't mind."
"Much later, babe."