Author's Note: I've finished the first and only season with the ninth doctor, and I've got to say I'm going to miss him. Not that David Tennett isn't amazing in his own right, but I really liked the leather jacket Doctor. Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave a review if you have the time. Happy reading!
Haven't really felt like working on a large project recently, but hopefully the tides turn soon. I bought myself a new paper notebook about a week ago, and I'm super ready to fill it with ideas and descriptions. And what do you know, this ended up being more than a one-shot! Second part is still being written, but should be up in a few days.
Rose had never made a good choice in her entire life before she had run straight into a crazy alien. One who wore leather better then she dreamed anyone ever could, and spouted out anger from his mouth like it was his favorite hobby. He never actually meant it; she knew he had a soft spot for less advanced and fortunate life forms. He wouldn't have asked her to travel with him otherwise. The reason he had come back to ask a second time, wasn't quite as easy to figure out.
He looked older then she in human terms, but hearing for the first time how old he was had been positively shocking. What's worse was that she hadn't been able to hide the absolutely dead shock look on her face. He had looked disappointed at that, but had brightened up a bit when she had finally muttered out an okay. Maybe it had been more alone the line of, "No wonder you make such good tea, centuries of practice. That's hardly fair."
Rose hadn't meant to make things strained or awkward between the two of them, but she hadn't exactly pictured that big of an age gap either. It was tense on the Tardis for days after that, and she felt sorry that she was the cause. What had she been supposed to say, you still look great? I think you are the sexiest thing in the universe? How about, I guess they invented leather just for you to pull off that look then.
None of those things would be something that she could have exclaimed out loud. They hadn't even been traveling together that long and she was just beginning to classify them as good friends. Five trips out into the universe and two of which had been fraught with danger. Before this they had been coming to actually know one another more the excited smiled and grabbing of hands. And she had ruined it when he shared something about himself with her.
She was a lowly human, not good at anything and exceptionally bad at decision making. She had dropped out of school far too early, dated a guy whom used her for his own pleasure for far too long and then settled in with one of her childhood friends instead. Ruining their friendship when she ran off with a certain leather wearing Doctor whom she wasn't even technically romantically attached to. Mickey had always been so nice to her, even when she was young and he had been four years older. And she had broken his heart and gotten him accused of murder.
The Doctor was different than those other two fellow though, he was mature and knew what he needed in his life already. Had everything all figured in the universe and here she was with her lack of job, stupid lack of knowledge and bleached blond hair. Hair that had been brown up until a week before the Doctor had happened into her life. She had still been getting used to what she looked like in the mirror like the blatantly confused ape he often accused of her being.
Rose felt like crying, she knew what he was always saying was true but it still hurt to sit down and think about. She wasn't smart, or strong, or a natural blond; just a little girl with a lot of fantasies. Fantasies like the two of them getting along great, being the best of friends, waking up just to see each other in the morning, and him joining her for morning tea without fail just because he liked to laugh at her half asleep daze. Stolen kisses between jokes that only pertained to their own adventures, so no one else even understood what was going on.
She had ruined all of that, every single hope that she had once dared to dream, rinsed down the drain by her inability to keep an expression off her face. A few tears escaped her eyes, and she snuffled across the sleeve of her jumper. The doctor was nowhere to be seen as she shuffled back to her room and started packing her bag. It wouldn't be long before he brought her back to her mother's anyways; he was probably upset that he repairs were taking so long when he wanted to be rid of her. They had never spent four days just floating around before this, with him constantly working at his lovely Tardis.
The Doctor working on the Tardis was certainly a memory that she wanted to commit to her mind. He would screw and unscrew diligently and even stroke his figures longingly across the control panel surface if he didn't realize she was in the room. It was beautiful to be able to witness such a bond, and yet she felt sadness bubble up within her. This was all coming to an end.
She sat down on her bed and sobbed. This was absolutely pathetic, her crying alone in her room because he was going to ask her to leave. She had had worse in her life and had held her head high throughout it all. Now, apparently was completely different as she sobbed and gasped by herself without another soul there to comfort her. It was stupid of her to think that this was worth crying over, but if Rose had learned anything in the last several years of her life, it was that humans were ruled over by emotions alone. Or as he would say it, Apes needed there stupid little emotions to coop.
That thought just made crying, alone in her bedroom upon the Tardis all the more easy. It was happening because at this moment, it couldn't not happen. There was no point in trying to avoid it, because it was one of those fixed points the Doctor liked to rattle on about. Maybe her leaving was just another one of those fixed points as well and that's why he had been bringing them up for the last month, to simply try and prepare her for the inevitable.
Rose supposed that she should be grateful that she had been able to have her advantage throughout the universe for the length of time that that she had been allowed. That didn't mean that packing up her few possessions didn't burn her very soul. She wished she had the strength not to be crying, but her resolve wasn't quite unbreakable. She would get through this over time, with her mother at her side and rain against the London windows. This wasn't what would break her, even if she felt at this moment it might be easier to just heave herself into the void.
Tears dried up, and Rose caught her breath after her spontaneous sob. She did her make up back up, before shoving them into her bag as well. She didn't want the Doctor to look back and see her as a sniveling mess he had to forcefully evict. She wanted him to remember her as that human that was fun enough to take on a few adventures, before he returned her to her standstill existence.
It was her bravery that carried both her and her small suitcase out into the control room. Rose didn't bother to back down when noticing the Doctor wasn't there for once, though he had been avoiding her for days now and she wouldn't be surprised he ducked out knowing she was coming in. Rose stroked her hand against the panel after depositing her bag onto the jump seat. She couldn't drive the Tardis to her home, and couldn't seem to catch him to get him to admit he didn't want her here. It was time to play the grown-up in this relationship and move on. They couldn't dance around each other forever, even if he seemed to be favoring leaving her in the Tardis forever and just never being in the same room together.
It was a strong and unsteady voice that proved to herself that she could be as strong as she ever needed to be, "Hello girl." Tears threatened again at her own voice, but she couldn't break now; not after coming this far. "Can you take me back home? The Doctor needs me to leave and I don't want to bother him." It was more like it would be easier if she didn't even have to see him in the end.
The Tardis seemed to hum underneath her fingertips, sad and yet agreeing all in the same moment. It was strange, being friends with a spaceship, but it had become her reality during her stay. There was no backing down at this point, Rose couldn't stay here any longer and the Tardis was a very understanding being. "I loved being here with you, and him, but I don't belong here. I've upset him and he can't even look at me. Maybe one day he'll cool off and come back for me, but I can't be here now." Most of the words came out no more than a whisper, but the intent was more than enough.
The Tardis shook as she moved without a driver, but that wasn't exactly out of the ordinary. Rose almost imaged that the Tardis did all the driving and let the Doctor prance around feeling important. It made a lot of sense that way, considering sometimes them landing in exactly in the right place and the right time and other times they land millions of miles off, and thousands of years before they are supposed to. Like she let him try sometimes, and others she just did the work to get where was actually planned.
Either way, the Tardis had absolutely no problem landing her back at exactly where she wanted to be. Rose stood at the opened Tardis door for a long time, with her bag clutched tightly to her side. Life would be different for her from here on, and Rose was trying to gather the strength to meet it. All thoughts swirled through her mind at once; she didn't want to leave, didn't want to give up on what they had, or maybe it was all a lie and she just couldn't give up what they didn't have.
Rose hadn't been smart with her life before, but now she was thinking for her own well-being. Never a good choice in her life, but this at the very least was for her.