Curse my love for Shiori and Juuri (yes I know its spelled wrong, deal). I'm out reading fanfic on the two of them and I get an idea, and next thing I know word is open and I'm going for a one-shot.
Read, review if you feel like it, and constructive criticism is loved, so don't feel bad about being, "THIS SUCKED" so long as you say how to make it better. I hope this gives some insight behind who and what made Shiori and Juuri who they are now. The anime only gave us brief looks. Plus, Shiori is SO misunderstood (not that I understand her, either), and this is my attempt at her character.
It was at the age of fourteen when it all began, a little less than a year than what Utena Tenjou is now. At eighteen now, it's a memory that only lingers on my mind, but will tear apart my soul until the day I am finally able to let it go. I may never be able to let it drift away with the wind, or ride the rivers, it is my eternal soul, and my lack of a miracle. It is my fault, my imperfection in a diamond hardened from what was once coal. A young girl named Shiori created that diamond, and she spends the rest of her time in an attempt to get back her hard lump of ash, because at least then, all of it is flawed.
- - -
Shivers travelled up and down her spine, causing her to shake slightly. Still, she refused to move. The light sound of leaves sliding against one another echoed in her ears, and the thin edge tickled the bottom of her nose. A small grin came to her lips, and the grass lightly touched those, too. She could feel her body rise and fall, glowing warm with the light of the sun, and she didn't feel like moving. Ever. A sweet serenade whispered above her, playing a song to eternity. Here and now she felt safe and happy, as she did every day. The summer had gone well for her, and even with the dreaded start of school, life was still a blur of caramel and chocolate melting on her tongue.
A lazy eye poked open, and she murmured at the blurred sight of green skirt and hair flaming orange even among the dancing shadows. The forementioned child sat with her fingers wrapped tightly around a book. Her eyes were glued to the pages, shock and hunger deep within those azure eyes. A small crumpling broke through the sky as the page crinkled as it moved. The girl could spy a glance being made at her before her friend dove into the next page.
It was just like Juuri to always make her feel safe. Those glances told her that yes, someone was always watching over her with gentle eyes and intentions. She shifted her arm underneath her cheek so her mouth was out of the overgrown carpet of green. "Juuri," she said sleepily. "What are you reading this time?" Orange locks shook gently as the other answered, though her eyes never left the page.
"It's called Sister of My Heart." Her voice was soft, sorrowful and her fingers moved to her lips as she leaned farther into the pages. Shiori knew that any moment it would completely suck Juuri up and into the middle of nowhere. She'd take on the persona of someone else, and Juuri would not be Juuri for a few weeks, except in her presence. There would always be the one that watched over her at lunch, and helped her with tests, and genuinely cared for a quiet soul just trying to find her place. She did not move on, but paused to wait for Shiori to catch up, gingerly taking steps over hot coals. She held Shiori's love and respect, for underneath that soft exterior that everyone was in love with, was a fire ready to alight forgotten ruins. Shiori was the match to strike it, if someone dare be the surface to be struck against.
Bong, the voice of the first bell called through hallways, melting through staircases and travelling over endless fields of green to reach their ears. Juuri slid her eyes quickly over pages, finally resting on a place where she could stop. The book slammed close, with no placeholder, but Shiori knew that Juuri would find it again with practiced ease. Bookmarks were for those who needed to find their place in the world, and Juuri had already settled down comfortably. Shiori, on the other hand, had hundreds, her desk droor full to the brim.
She groaned and moaned and rolled onto her back. A haze of blue swarmed her vision, soft whisps of white invading her vast sky here and there. She smiled at it, letting rays of yellow stroke her face, come and go. "You can't go, yet, silly," she told Juuri who had begun the walk down to a worn pathway. She didn't bother to look at the other, but she knew Juuri stopped and looked back, a knowing smile on her face. Shiori would rather be late to class in hopes she could draw out one more bead of light to take with her into the dreary world of class.
Sliding her hand from under her back, she dangled a shining object of gold. The surface peeled and parted, the results of a mold in resemblance to a rose. A small chain clasped its top and wound its way daintily around Shiori's fingers. She cocked her head at it absently. She'd made it here at Ohtori, a nearly perfect symbol of the beautiful flower that could strike back at any moment if it wished. Her heart wanted to keep it, but it had reminded her so much of someone she knew, she could never bear to keep it.
"You're a very talented artist," Juuri beat her to the chase, knowing Shiori would ask her what she thought of it. However, not this time, no. Shiori merely smiled and let it dangle there, finally propping her head up so her chin touched her chest. Her eyes gazed through the locket and towards a tall lanky figure in their school uniform. It sparkled in the sun, illuminating that figure momentarily. Yes, her mind was made up.
"If you like it that much, here," Shiori giggled and chucked the locket. Juuri had to lean back to catch it and nearly lost her balance, but as always, her grace saved her. As was nearly always the case, a broad grin graced her face. She hurried to put it on. "It's beautiful. You're so skilled, I'm jealous!" Juuri drabbled on. Shiori had heard it time and time again. She knew that Juuri would have said it even if it had been the ugliest bit of metal in the world, but the thought was comforting. And when someone would ask, she'd defend her statement. No one else would hold their ground amongst the scorn of others. Not for a quiet, shy Shiori.
For a moment, in the back of her mind, she wondered who would eventually fill that locket? Family, she guessed, at first. Perhaps Juuri's older sister, perhaps her mother and father. Yet, as briefly as it had come, the thought faded along with the pang of upset that had come with it.
- - -
She'd begun to feel herself smile less and less, hiding more and more.
"Juuri?" the name, the way she said, it panged deep inside her soul. One leg up on the concrete wall, the other on the ground, she supported the corner of a book. Yet, as those words rang through her, even though she knew they were coming, she was shocked beyond belief. She felt the twang run through her muscles, and her fingers twitch and slip, the soft feeling of paper leaving their tips. She watched in dismay as it fell down, down. The water below heaved upwards and slurped the contents. She could feel it bleed through the pages and run the ink away, never to be read again.
With a slight tinge of regret she turned, her face as little upset as she could manage. She could not let Shiori know she was upset. Yet, as she watched she could see the girl tense, but she would not ask. Shiori never asked, because she didn't know she could. She let Juuri's pain lay on her shoulders for she was too afraid to realize that Juuri knew Shiori cared, too. Yet, Juuri had found it harder and harder to care as she once had.
She rose, gulping down the lump in her throat as she imagined floating away with that book, to some unkown world. Shiori waited there, her hands clasped at her sides and her eyes studying. What she was looking at, Juuri could only dream, it made her feel exhilarated, yet nervous. Was she looking at Juuri, or something that wasn't quite Juuri?
She managed to get to the girl's side, though all her muscles tensed at the thought of it. She'd walked by her side so many times before, with glee in her heart, but today, today it began to feel like a necessity. She needed to walk next that soul, and yet she couldn't. Every step she took seemed borrowed, wasted, and Shiori would turn and run into the crowd never to be seen again. Surely she could feel this push and pull game that Juuri was playing with herself? Surely it would scare a nervous Shiori back to the shadows a younger Juuri had drug her out of, supporting her all the while? Yet, instead, a small arm wrapped around her stomach and pulled her close. The Shiori she knew offered her a nervous smile and walked with her, just like this.
Her head fought for control, she could no longer think. She was desperate for this affection, but Shiori could not stay holding on. Her whole body tensed, and she knew not where to put her hands, her arms. Everything felt like it was out of place; she didn't belong here, there. It was a simple hug of comfort, but this time she didn't know how to hug back. It struck fear into her heart to think of even trying, images of Shiori lashing out, screaming with upset and Juuri couldn't bear to lose what they had: A friendship that was now a necessity. To not be able to see her face every day, what kind of a world was that?
"You're wearing the locket today, you didn't have to do that," Shiori spoke softly, and Juuri was thankful as she let go. Walking just a bit too close, but it wouldn't end in disaster, she'd gotten through the worst. "I know you don't like jewelry. Its been weeks, I know you appreciate it. You didn't have to wear it." Sometimes Shiori drawled on like this, a short display of nervousness that Juuri wished would leave, but it was better she be nervous and talk more than talk less like it once had been.
"I. . . its nothing," she tried to respond, but her voice caught and she stuttered. Maybe she hadn't gotten through the worst. To say that Shiori had not noticed would have been a complete lie to herself and everyone around her. The look she received in return was enough to shatter her heart right then and there. Never before had she let Shiori down with such unpracticed ease. She wanted to scream an apology and shove with force back to the Juuri she knew. The one that said anything and everything on her mind with a laugh and a sweet smile. The caring person that everyone compared to the grand affairs of things. The one that loved Shiori for a person and not an . . . object. No, she didn't love her like that, she never would, but it was not the same innocence that she had felt before. There was an uncertainty with this feeling, and that was how she knew it was wrong.
Her thoughts were broken by the yelling that increased tenfold in volume.
"Next!" echoed through the air, and they passed through crowds of blushing girls and men.
"You suppose I'll find a guy for myself?" the shy one asked from her left. Juuri wanted to look at her and smile, nod and reassure her with a slap on the back that meant 'I see no less for your future', but she could not bring herself to make the move. Just touching her seemed too great a task to undertake and the question itself left her squirming inside. She wanted the answer to be no, and yet, she knew it that was not the way the Juuri she knew would think. So instead she looked left, the same question seemingly on her eyes. Shiori looked back expectantly, but the silence had already begun to form a rift they could not see across.
Both let the question drop, and the air felt a degree cooler.
Juuri could not talk and watch Shiori as she once could have. Her eyes were not always on Shiori, in a determined effort to protect her. They were trying to protect Juuri, and she kept them steady on the locker straight ahead. Her brows began to furrow, cold determination there. No matter what, she would not make this mistake that would cost them what she held dear. She gave a worried glance over, and Shiori was watching her, the worry lines along her brow as well. Caught off guard, Juuri turned her gaze slowly so as not to cause alarm and finished pulling the fencing gear over her legs. It was a comforting feel, as though her whole body could be cloaked. It left her protected from the openness of the school uniform and the secret that was beginning to form just beneath.
"Have you figured out what you're putting in it?" the whisper in her ear sent chills coursing down her back. She felt stripped down, defenses pulled away and everyone was looking. The smile from the girl down the hall, the guy to her left, they all knew and they were waiting to ruin her.
"Nothing yet," she answered simply, unable to voice anything else.
"Next!"
With a deep breath she clasped her hands tight around the hilt of a foil and strode into the center. All eyes were on her. They waited like beasts to pounce on her defeat and take their turn with the blue eyed captain. She could feel his presence next to hers, showing her how to hold the weapon properly, and fixing her feet, but she did not need that. There was a bubbling desire that was dying to get out, and she intended to use it.
Done with his fixes, the boy known as Ruka slithered like a shadow across the hall. In moments his figure was masked by a multitude of mesh, his hands coated white in those of a glove. She pulled the mask over her own head, letting suffocation set in. It was here, on the line between the feeling of death and the feeling of being alive she fought and struck.
It was a battle as great as they come. It was his heart against the one that was beginning to form. He told her flaws, and she tore them apart in her own head and thrust them back at him. Within minutes it was all over, and the crowd was agasp. They'd known Juuri had promise, Ruka had told them, but they'd never thought her to take him down. It had been rumored that no one could beat the captain. However, he'd been fighting with the purpose of making a warrior and she'd struck down her own bitter heart and won. But only today. Tomorrow she would have to battle again, and she knew, there would be one she could never win. Even there, bearing a slight smirk at the corner's of her lips, she knew that she had not truly defeated anything. Many were shocked to see the girl, who normally displayed such joy, so cold and drawn. They did not understand what she was going to become.
"That was a brilliant performance, Juuri," a voice shook to her left as she headed in the direction of Shiori. The girl was beaming brighter than she'd ever seen her before, and she gave back her own faded smile in response. The boy who had spoken was tall, pretty by some standards, and he gave her a gentle display of teeth. She hesitated for a moment and then went over to join him first, unable to bring herself to face Shiori. She could not bear the praise that would come, and girl had probably grown tired of her success. "I would be honored if you would fence with me during lunches." The words 'honored' wrung in her head, and she nodded.
"Then I shall," she answered, pulling her mask from her face and giving him a smile. She headed to the lockers to shower. Alone.
- - -
Shiori sat in a chair, her ears soaking up the sound of ringing metal. The forlorn gasps of two people fencing had become a rhythm she was accustomed to hearing. The smell of sweat nearly nauseating as their feuds went on and on. She insisted on coming, despite Juuri's insistence she do something she enjoyed doing. Shiori enjoyed being here, watching the fencer move with solid grace and life. It made her feel powerful inside, where she was not. She could not bear to be alone for she was too afraid to be apart from Juuri's side. The world was cruel, and Juuri was the sun that kept the earth around her feet from freezing. Her own head could not tolerate such weakness and she began to seek a reason for being here. Juuri wanted this man, her constant presence at his side made that clear, but Shiori did not want to give her to him. So, if she came, it was her reason for being there – to keep Juuri completely hers, her protection, her sun. If she was not here, Juuri would fall completely under his spell and be gone forever, leaving Shiori among the ice.
"Match!" she heard Juuri call loudly, and her flaming curls fell from her head as the grayness was pulled from her face. Those eyes were set solidly on the other who had yet to remove his own. Shiori could sense Juuri waiting to see that face, those eyes. She imagined the girl sending her away, somewhere, anywhere while she stole away ideas to be with this man for the rest of her life. Shiori knew well enough that Juuri would never be strong enough to kiss him in front of her, but she imagined that Juuri wished too.
"Shiori, bring that rose for the victor!" came the chuckling song of that boy. He was the moon, and Shiori was being cast in shadow by his gaze. She nodded, smiling to bring the orange flower forwards, presenting it to Juuri. The young woman seemed taken aback by the presentation and Shiori knew it was because she had not expected a gift from the boy, certainly not a flower. Shiori watched as Juuri's hand reached for the locket, clutching it between tight fingers. Shiori could see Juuri's heart melt for something so simple. She kept that fake face on even as Juuri took the flower and thanked the man for it, looking to him with focus in her eyes.
"If you'll excuse me," Juuri said of a sudden. "I have to shower before pictures." Shiori watched her go, unable to bring herself to follow for the first time. She watched Juuri pause and look back, then reconsider and keep going.
"I think I might actually have a chance, Shiori," the man whispered as he watched her go, his eyes on that magnificent figure.
She did not answer him, but nodded lightly, and she knew he attributed it to her shyness. With one glance they parted, each their separate ways, unaware of the destruction in a heart they both longed to have. One was losing it and the other could never hope to gain it.
-
"Squish up together, just like that. No, no, you with the purple hair, closer to the boy. Yes! That's it. Now a big grin when I say Ohtori!" The man's voice echoed lightly in her head, but the plum haired girl paid no mind. Her throat was filling with grime, but she knew it had to be done. The only way to keep the sun was to control it.
Her eyes burned as the lense popped, and she could barely see, but she didn't have to. Her hands clasped around the aforementioned individual. She leaned close, letting his hair tickle her face.
"Juuri loves somebody," she made her voice barely audible, feeling his hands tense as hope filled his system. Now she'd take it away. "But it isn't you."
"Well darn, I seem to be out of light. Well, we'll hope we've got a good one. Wish for a miracle."
With that, they funneled out.
- - -
She finally had news worthy of telling Shiori for once. Nothing had seemed important enough to bother the girl, but now she had an actual reason for tea and cookies. A reason that did not involve the wish to express deep down feelings of love.
Imagine the smile, just like it once had been there, when she told Shiori the news. Juuri had been elected for the Student Council. A prestigious honor at worst, and at best the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced at the school.
They'd recognized her leaps and bounds in fencing class, reaching the position of captain. They had seen her grades never falter, and the whole time she had captured the awe of the school in its whole. Her nature, she had been told, had turned from a goofy young girl to a mature young leader with the wits and tongue to lead. The Council would benefit greatly if she wished to join them.
She spotted what she'd come to find, and her heart lurched. The girl's fingers were tightly curled around the boy's fingers, and Juuri fought the scream of objection in her throat. Shiori was happy with this, and Juuri should have been happy too, but she wasn't. The girl spotted her, and Juuri was sure she could see a frown appear on the plum's face. In her hand an orange rose glistened, haunting the fencer's memories. It had been like this for months now, and she'd spot them catching their own quiet time beneath a tree. Subtle strokes and looks transferred between the two that Juuri could only wish to be a part of. She could almost feel it now, if not for the rip in her gut.
"Juuri?" the soft voice flitted through her system making it hard to breathe.
She had to make this quick, just to see that smile, that overjoyed looked she missed so much. "They have requested me for Student Council," Juuri said, her expression mute. She was afraid to show anything more in front of him, for he was not Shiori.
"That's great, do well," Shiori said, though Juuri saw her eyes drift quickly the the boy she clung to. Shiori's face buried in his chest, and she looked up at him dreamily. "Did you hear?" she asked him. "Melany broke up with Tigoru." Juuri's heart sank and she watched them go. Behind her, notices were twisted from their tacked place on the wall. They twirled and skirted across the campus to end up in someone's homework pile or supper to come.
"I heard," she heard his voice drifting back to reach deaf ears. "You've told me twice today."
- - -
Tears lined her face, and she stormed down the halls towards the only comfort she knew. Her fists hurt as she slammed them as hard as she could into the empty room.
"Juuri, open up!" she screamed, her throat cracking. She pressed her head against the side of the door, ignoring the looks as people passed by. "Juuri! PLEASE! JUURI!" She persisted, tasting the salt of her own tears between sobbing gasps of breath. Her body broke down and she clawed against the door to stay upright, but still it wouldn't open.
She slid down the freezing wood, her knees buckling beneath her. She knew Juuri was here, but she would not come. "He's told me it's off, Juuri," she whispered to the empty halls full of forgotten miracles. "We're over. Who is he, Juuri? I don't understand, how can he? What have I done? Am I not perfect!?" She let her heart flow out over the floor from a man she never loved. She'd gone after something to hold Juuri, but she'd ended up losing both of them.
If he left, maybe Juuri would come back to her, but she had not. Now, Shiori had not even a blanket to protect her from the leers of the clouds ever looming in the sky. The shatter of a picture echoed from down the hall. Her last light had gone down.
Her body fell backwards as her support left her. The legs of a comfort she knew well caught her, and strong arms lifted up a devastated form. She clung to it desperately, but even then she knew her sun would not rise again and in the darkness of night she would perish.
"He didn't deserve you Shiori," the soft voice echoed all around her and she nodded in agreement, though she wasn't sure. Maybe she hadn't deserved him, but how had she ever deserved Juuri? She clutched her tightly, hoping she would never leave. This was her ground, and she was so close to falling off the cliff.
- - -
"You're leaving," Juuri's own voice had stopped surprising her. She knew it existed all along, this bitter knowledge of the world around her. It tasted vile on her tongue, but she'd learned to like it.
Shiori nodded though it had not been a question. She stuffed a shirt carelessly into a bag, her shoulders in a constant form of shrugging as she crammed and buried whatever she owned.
Juuri bit her tongue and looked out a forlorn window, the curtains blowing steadily in the breeze. It brought Shiori's scent close to her, and she pretended not to notice how wonderful and lonely it smelled.
"You will write me, still, won't you Juuri?" Shiori asked, pausing to look at the girl that stood in her open doorway. Juuri knew it was the first time Shiori had fully seen her in months. She had shipped the poor girl to her own room the next morning, tears still staining her eyes. Juuri had given Shiori the only comfort she could and eventually she could not bear the ache in her own chest and had to send her away. She'd picked up on rumors alone from then on, avoiding the girl wherever possible for she was not able to face herself.
At last she had heard that Shiori was leaving, and she was never to see her again. She'd come by to have one last look, to at least hold one memory within her soul, but she had no intention of writing.
"You've found a picture for that locket, haven't you?" Shiori broke the silence.
Juuri nodded, removing her gaze from the curtains. But it is not what you think. With that she left, letting Shiori stew on all they'd done and said in their youth, before the trials of a stupid thing called love.