I recently re-watched 'White Out' and realised it was crying out for an extra scene. I hope you enjoy this, all reviews are very welcome. Thank you kindly!
WARM ME UP
"Hey, Doc."
Happy looked up and smiled as Toby crawled into the tent on his hands and knees.
"How's Paige's knee?" she asked. She was sitting crossed legged in the centre of the tent. She'd already slipped her boots off and her jacket lay in a heap to her side. "Sorry I ducked out, but you know me and blood."
"It wasn't as bad as it looked," replied Toby. He turned to zip up the tent. "Ralph feels terrible about it. Cabe's driving them home now.
"It wasn't Ralph's fault, it was an accident," Happy pointed out. "I guess someone was bound to slip over, we kinda got carried away with the snowball fight and Paige wasn't exactly wearing sensible shoes."
Toby chuckled. "Paige and sensible shoes are mutually exclusive," he noted.
Happy nodded and Toby scooted over to sit close to her.
"Maybe Sly had the right idea?" she offered.
"Sly's a party pooper," retorted Toby. "He went to get the bus as soon as he knew Paige was OK and then Walter said he'd rather sleep in his own bed tonight after all so I guess it's just you and me camping out tonight."
"Cool," replied Happy.
Toby smiled at her. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders and her eyes sparkled in the dim light. He couldn't quite believe they were finally alone.
"So," he said. "What you said earlier... are we still on for some spooning?"
Happy nodded. "I meant what I said though, Doc, no hanky-panky."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"Yes you would, perv," she retorted, but Toby caught the glint in her eye and he smirked in response.
"Listen," he said, tenderly slipping an arm around her waist. "I'm being serious. I know it took a lot for you to suggest this and I don't want to push you into doing anything you're not ready for. I don't want to risk this."
"I don't even know what this is," she admitted.
"Me neither," he replied. "But I really, really want to find out."
Happy let out a long sigh. She didn't know how much to say to him, she didn't know if she was ready to let him in completely. She wanted to, but it felt so alien to her.
Of course he understood. He always understood.
"Just relax," he urged. "If you want to talk, we can talk, or if you want to dive straight into the spooning, I'm all for that, but... but if you want to take a rain check, then I can go and we'll pick this up another time."
It was the last thing he wanted, but he knew he had to allow Happy to take the lead, or it would be all over before it had started.
"No, don't go!" she said, more desperately than she'd intended.
Toby moved ever closer to her. "Then I'm right here," he said, softly. "And I'll stay for as long as you want me to."
Happy closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax a little as he spoke. His voice soothed her, his presence calmed her. She didn't understand why – Toby could be the most irritating man in the world – but right now she could feel her breathing slowing down and her thought starting to settle.
"I think I'm still kinda freaked out," she admitted. "I nearly died today and, um… I, um…"
"Hey, hey, it's OK to freak out," said Toby. "You went through a lot, you need to take some time to reconcile how you feel about it all."
She nodded silently, allowing the truth of what she was about to say coalesce in her mind. "Y'know, when I realised I was in real trouble, when I was all out of ideas and I figured there was a real possibility that I was gonna freeze to death, I called out your name…"
Toby smiled. "And I came to your rescue," he said. "Like Superman!"
Happy looked at him in disbelief. "Superman?" she repeated. "If you were Superman you could've just flown us both out of there. Then we wouldn't have had to have gotten naked."
Toby pouted, sulkily. "And where's the fun in that?" he asked.
Happy rolled her eyes, but then her expression became serious again. "I remember you being there, at least I think I do," she said. "I have these fuzzy memories of your voice, of… of your touch. I knew you were there. I just knew."
"The human brain is a wonderful thing," replied Toby. "Even though your body was shutting down, your senses were still working, you were still aware of your surroundings - on some level - and I was doing everything I could to keep that beautiful, genius mind ticking over."
"Thank you," she said. "I don't know that two dumb words is enough, but… thank you."
Toby took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. He didn't need to hear the words – her gratitude was obvious to him - but he knew how hard it was for her to find those words and so they meant so much more to him than she could possibly realise.
"My dad said something earlier," Happy continued. "He said I need to find something that makes me happy. I think, as crazy as it sounds, I think that something might be you."
Toby covered her left hand with his. "Your Dad talks a lot of sense," he said. "I like him."
"He made my Mom happy," continued Happy. "She was so carefree in that video. She was dancing and laughing and... and I guess she was in love. I want that, Toby, but I don't know how to get it."
"I can help you," replied Toby, softly. His gently rested his temple against hers. "If you'll let me."
Happy turned suddenly and pressed her lips to his. It wasn't the first time they'd kissed, but this felt different than before. A sensation surged through her body that she couldn't explain and it overwhelmed her. She broke away and gasped for air.
"Breathe," urged Toby. "You're OK." He gently rubbed her forearm as she regained her composure.
"Sorry... I'm sorry," she muttered. "What the hell?"
"This is how it feels when you let someone in," Toby explained. "When you let your barriers down."
Happy exhaled slowly. The initial rush of fear had subsided and now adrenaline was driving her thoughts. "Can we do it again?" she asked.
"Sure," replied Toby, trying to sound casual. He shuffled back slightly, taking a moment to look deep into her eyes before cupping her face in his hands and leaning in for another kiss.
This time Happy was prepared for the feelings that stirred inside her as their lips met and she allowed herself to feel them. They were raw and very real and it felt good.
Eventually they broke apart, but they stayed close, their faces inches apart. Happy could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Their intimacy was tangible.
Toby's tongue darted out and swiped over his lower lip. He could still taste her kisses, he couldn't believe how lucky he was that he was the man who got to kiss Happy Quinn.
"Are you sure you don't want to try some hanky-panky?" he asked her, optimistically.
"I'm sure, Doc," she replied with determination. "I'm not ready."
She wasn't. As much as she wanted it, she wasn't ready to throw this moment away for the sake of a quick fumble in a tent. That's not what she needed.
"I understand."
Of course he did. She clutched his hand tightly, but turned her head away from him.
"I'm not inexperienced," she said, quietly. "I've been with guys – and a girl once, that was a dumpster fire – but this is different. None of those times felt like they meant anything."
"Well," began Toby. "You know I was engaged once…"
Happy lifted her head to look at him. "I know."
"And… and that's OK?" he asked. "I mean, it doesn't make you feel weird, or anything?"
Happy shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "I guess if… y'know, if we… if we make a go of this and then she was to show up…"
"Amy."
"Yeah, Amy. If she was to show up here and want you back, or…"
Toby laughed. "That's never gonna happen," he tried to reassure her.
"Good."
"Your past, my past, none of it matters," Toby insisted, scooting even closer to her. "What matters is now. You and me, discovering what we can be together."
"My whole life I've fought so hard, I've never dared let anyone in," Happy answered. "I've never thought about being part of a 'together'. Not with anyone. Now… now I don't know how to do it?"
"You don't have to do it alone, Hap," said Toby. "That's kind of the point of being together. You don't have to be scared, you know."
"I'm not scared," insisted Happy.
Toby wrapped his arm around her waist. "Sure you are," he replied. "You're scared of getting hurt. You've never allowed yourself to be this vulnerable and it frightens the hell outta you, but I promise you, whatever happens – if we do make a go of this and I really believe we can, or we don't – I will never hurt you. I promise."
Happy didn't answer him for a moment, she didn't know what to say. No one had ever made such a heartfelt promise to her before. Eventually she spoke, her voice quavering slightly. "What if I mess up?" she asked. "What if I hurt you?"
"You won't."
Happy dropped her head onto Toby's shoulder. "You don't know that," she replied. "I've seen the state you get into, I've seen what you do to yourself when you're hurting and it ain't pretty."
Toby sighed. "Can we kiss again?" he asked, optimistically.
Happy shrugged. "So I guess you don't want to talk about that," she said, knowingly.
"Happy, listen to me," Toby answered her. "I know I'm a moron sometimes, but that's all on me and I want to change. I will change. For you. I'll do whatever you need me to do."
A smile flickered at the corners of her lips. "So," she began after a moment of silence. "You know O'Brien's gonna lose his shit when he finds out about this… about us, right?"
Toby grinned. "You leave One Ninety Seven to me," he replied. "Deep down, Walt's a romantic at heart. He'll be happy for us, you'll see."
"Hmmm," Happy responded, entirely unconvinced. "If you say so, but just… not yet, OK? I mean, not for a long while, yet. I can't do this with everyone watching us all the time. I'm not ready to put myself out there. I wanna keep this to ourselves for now, at least until we know we've really got something to tell. 'Til then we're doing this in secret, got it?"
"I wanna tell the whole world," admitted Toby. "But I do get it, we'll tell people when we're both ready."
Happy turned to face him, hitching herself up onto her knees. "I'm feeling a little cold again," she said. She reached out and ran her hand over his beard, before leaning in close. "Warm me up, Doc," she said in a husky whisper.
Toby's eyes were wide as she kissed him again. She pulled his hat from his head and threw it across the tent, but he didn't care. All he cared about in that moment was her and this kiss.
Happy suddenly realised that she'd let go of her inhibitions. She was being impulsive. She was doing what made her happy.
She broke away from Toby and threw herself backwards onto the ground as spontaneous laughter overwhelmed her. She wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand as tears began to stream down her face.
Toby looked at her in disbelief for a moment, he'd never seen her like this before. So carefree. This was exactly what she wanted… and it was infectious. "Wow," he said, before he too collapsed into giggles. "Maybe we should spend more time in the Antarctic?" he offered with a wink.
Happy grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled him on top of her. She had to take two deep breaths before she could speak. "Just spoon with me already, jackass."
THE END.
