In the End, They Tried
Author: Knowhere
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Nothing.
AN: Just a drabble. Nothing fancy.
Summary: Literati. In the end, they realized it was bigger than the both of them. AU.
---
It started out so simple. An eye roll here, an angry word there. Things just layered on one after another. The fight about buying groceries, another about missing an office party, one about forgetting a Friday night dinner. By themselves, the fights weren't much. Together, they were unstoppable. The words exchanged between the two of them became less forgiving.
First, he became surlier.
She became angry at his attitude.
Then the fights progressed. He left his manuscript for her to read and review and she tucked it into her briefcase and lost it at work. She asked him to pick up a birthday card for her mother and he forgot. The fights then escalated. They were no longer about simple things like forgetting to take out the trash or leaving her makeup scattered on the bathroom counter. The fights turned into a metaphorical beast. They fought about things like a lack of support and inattention to the matters they individually valued.
Secondly, he started to withdraw.
She became more involved at work.
They started to fight everyday. There was no stopping it. Everything became timed on a trigger. Everything they did rode on the other's nerves. The fights combined and became one perpetual battle. He became quiet but his silence stung her. She pushed and pushed without listening and it hurt him to think that she wasn't paying attention. Each felt empty. Each felt a lack of love.
Lastly, he extended his book tour and left home for weeks at a time and went days without calling.
She stopped noticing his lack of calls and felt nothing but emptiness when he tried to initiate sex.
After a while, the fights stopped and they thought it was over. But it was only on pause. A couple months later and it flared up again. Few months later and they stopped having sex altogether. They did their laundry separate, they had separate meals, and they even bought an extra alarm clock so they didn't have to share. They slept with a foot between them and even their laptops were plugged into separate ends of the house. The two matching silver laptops used to sit next to one another. They once joked that they were keeping each other company when they were turned off.
But there were no more jokes anymore. There was only silence.
---
She cried a lot initially. He didn't.
He didn't know how to handle the anger, the rage, and the desperation.
She didn't know how else to handle her tears and felt they were choking the life out of her.
---
When she asked for a break, her eyes were dry. He just stared at her and nodded his agreement.
---
He left the next day without her asking. He left her the apartment. He took only one bag, his laptop, and a toothbrush. He slept at his office and refused to answer why when his colleagues asked.
She left the house too because that first night felt too empty. She moved into a hotel and tried for the first time since they were together to sleep in the middle of the bed.
She couldn't sleep.
He couldn't eat.
---
Her eyes became rimmed with red and she desperately wished for a night of sleep that lasted for more than two hours.
He lost fifteen pounds and could keep nothing down but tea.
---
Three and a half weeks went by and he popped by the apartment at a time when he knew she'd be at work so that he could get some more clothes.
She had came home the night before and fell into their bed, fully dressed and exhausted.
When he saw her lying there, on top of the covers, his heart sank. After almost a year of constant fighting, he broke down and cried.
Her pale skin was showing a grayish pallor against their bedspread and he knelt down to brush her hair away from her face. She stirred and struggled to open her eyes.
"Jess?"
"It's me."
She reached for his hand. "I'm so tired."
He toed off his shoes and climbed in next to her, pulling her close, smelling her hair and skin, and fell asleep.
---
When they woke up in the middle of the night, he pulled her hesitantly into his body. She yielded and cried when he asked for permission to undress her. Never had he asked. The question marked just how far they grew apart. Even their first time, he didn't ask, he just knew she was ready.
When he entered her, he did it slowly. She was tight and he knew to the day just how long their bodies had been apart. When he nuzzled against her breasts, he could barely make his hips move.
When she climaxed, he stopped to watch. When she was done, he asked if she was okay.
She held his face between her palms and arched her back. "I just want to feel you again. I wanna feel us."
He nodded and his eyes were shiny, but in the end, he lost his erection. He rolled them to their sides and hugged her tight to him with his arms and legs. "How can we make this right again?"
She cried for the rest of the night, silent tears that broke his heart. They just held on to each other.
---
They woke up the next morning and sat down at their kitchen table.
They talked. They fought. They cried.
But in the end, they each realized their problem was greater than they could handle by themselves. Rory found her address book and dug up the number of a therapist a friend had recommended. He agreed and said that he thought it would be for the best.
Two days later, they went.
---
AN: Read and review.