Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. None, I say!

Ugh, soccer…

No, I don't hate soccer. In fact, I love watching it on TV, especially if Japan is playing. However, I disliked playing it.

Well, to be honest, I tend to like it when I miraculously score a goal or when my team is winning. And I'm pretty sure you do exactly the same.

But when you know your team is gonna lose miserably, mostly because for the members of the team, that's when you hate soccer like I am doing right now.

Here I am, at the bench on a big soccer field along with my partners in crime, the SOS brigade. If you have been listening to my misadventures so far, you probably know who is the responsible for dragging us here:

Haruhi.

Another sport event we HAVE to win thanks to her. First baseball, now this…

Wait, what are you saying? That the baseball team isn't enough for a soccer team?

No problem. Haruhi dragged the Computer Society President and Kimidori-san here. I don't know she "convinced" her to play for us.

Let's revise our team: Haruhi, me, Nagato, Asahina, Koizumi, my sister, Taniguchi, Kunikida, Tsuruya, the President and Kimidori. Our team is pretty much doomed from the start: our physical conditions and the age differences, like my sister who is younger than the rest of us, as the main reasons.

Yesterday, when I gave the admission paper to the man in charge of the amateur tournament, he fell of his chair, laughing. I had a sudden urge to punch him in the face, but there were two things against my desire: One, our team truly was laughable. Two, I would receive two beatings, from the local security and from Haruhi, who would be asking why they didn't accepted us.

While Haruhi was gathering us to recieve our positions by lottery again, I glanced at our opponents: the Kamigahara Ninjas. I think this is the same university we've beaten at the baseball tournament. I'm afraid we're gonna ridiculize them again with some of Nagato's spells, since losing to them gives as a result an angry Haruhi, and that results in the destruction of the world.

Crud, I got centre forward! More responsibility to me… yare, yare…

"I guess Suzumiya-san wants it that way," Koizumi said. "I don't have a problem with that as long as she is having fun." Shut up…

I stare at Nagato. She has helped us in critical situations before, and this will not be an exception. She slightly nods and looks at the field. She quickly moves her lips, chanting her spell. I'm sorry, Ninjas.

She comes close to me and whispers:

"The effects will occur at the second half to prevent being suspicious to our opponents or the referees."

"Wait… so we have to play fairly with them during the first half?"

"Yes."

Crap. So much for a quick victory. In resume, we're gonna get beaten up by them during 45 minutes. Then, the next 45 minutes we do an extraordinary comeback and beat them. Wow, this really reminds me of the Baseball tournament.

Anyways, the referee is calling our captain to see who gets the ball first. Haruhi runs like the speed of light and meets the Ninjas' captain for the coin toss.

Hmm… she excitedly waves to us. She won the toss. We all enter the field… or should I say the battlefield?

I get to the center where the ball is, along with the Computer Society President. Looks like he's left wing. Let's see… one quick stare to my love Asahina-san before this match starts… Uh? Where is she? Wait… I see her at our goal! Cruel fate! She's our goalkeeper! Oh god…

"Hey Kyon-kun! Pass me the ball from time to time!" a voice called behind me. My sister is the right wing?! Damn you Haruhi and your idiotic lottery!

The referee blows his whistle. Alright, here goes nothing… I pass the ball to the President. He looks pretty nervous.

Oh, there goes our attack, in less than 20 seconds…

Whoa! They move pretty fast like… ninjas. He sorts out our mid-field players, then the defense, then… oh… he shoots! Asahina-san! Take cover!

Looks like she listened to me, because she dropped to the grass, covering her head. It's obvious he scored a goal. 1-0. Needless to say, Haruhi yells at us.

"Hey! Kyon, and you President! You better score a goal in the next attack or else there will be punishments for the both of you!" Yare, yare…

Ball on the center of the circle again, I pass it to the President again, who looked more nervous than before. A defense is closing in. Scared, he throws a pass to… my sister?! Oi! Don't do that!

"Sorry! I don't want to be attacked by those… those… giants!"

"Oh really?! What about my sister you idiot?!"

"Oh… oops!"

I glance at my sister. She looks like she's having fun…Wow! She sorted out one of the Ninjas! Beginner's luck maybe…

Uh-oh… that defense looks tough. Please… anything but that! No! Don't-

Too late, he trips her, making her fall to the ground.

Let's analyze the situation. My sister, eleven years old, petite for her age, cute, delicate; against a guy, probably eighteen years old, tall, strong-looking. You do the math.

"Foul!" The referee yelled after he blew his whistle. He takes out the yellow card and shows it to the player. Obviously, he started complaining.

I quickly run to her. She's holding her right knee with her two hands. It's covered with dirt and there's a wound.

"Owww… it hurts…" she cries. The wound it's kinda big, she might not be able to play this match anymore. I took her with my arms and started walking out of the field. Well, I guess I should thank my sister for this, because now I have the perfect excuse to avoid playing. I was somewhat close to the benches when Haruhi yelled at me again.

"Oi, Kyon! You better go back! You're the one who should be scoring goals, you know!"

"She's hurt, can't you see that?!"

"She will be fine, the medics will attend her properly, now get your ass back to the field! Now!"

"But…"

"I'll take care of her." A man's voice said behind me. It was Koizumi. Looks like he also wanted to escape this torment. Sorry, but you can't, since Haruhi wants us to play.

"Suzumiya-san! Can I look after Kyon's sister? Just to make sure the doctors treat her well!"

"Fine!" she calmly said. What the…? How could you…? I guess your position isn't as important as mine, but still… Agh! Haruhi that's so unfair! And Koizumi, you cheap, lucky bastard! And you better treat my sister well or else I'll smack you so hard that…

"Don't worry, she'll be fine," he said to me. Fine, as long as you don't do anything weird like bringing your agency friends. Except maybe Arakawa and Mori-san.

So, now in early game we had 9 people against 11. Needless to say, the rest of the first half was embarrassing to us. Seriously, 23-0 is not a normal score for soccer. We couldn't even get to their area. You can laugh now.

The SOS brigade slowly walks to the benches, Haruhi yelling at us and punishing Asahina-san for her "lame" performance by pulling her cheeks and biting her ear. I glance at the Ninjas' benches. They were pretty relaxed and were laughing, probably making fun of us.

Oh, there's Koizumi. Well, how's my sister?

"She'll be fine. The doctors handed me a first-aid kit since we haven't brought any." Note to self, medical kits next time we go out. "I cleaned her knee and wrapped it with a bandage. She can take it out probably tomorrow or after tomorrow." Good then. "I'll be able to play the last half." I didn't ask about you, smiley face.

I looked at her sitting on the bench. She waves at me and smiles. "Thanks to Koizumi-kun I feel better now!"

"Promise me that you won't try anything dangerous with us from now on." I said. She merely touched her head with her left fist and winking like saying "yes"… or at least that's what I assume.

The referee blows his whistle after a while, where Haruhi showed her unique and bizarre tactics to us on how to counterattack. When we were entering the field, I heard Nagato's voice.

"Homing mode is activated."

"How do I score, then?"

"Just kick it in the direction of the goal. Try to not to do some suspicious movements to avoid questionings from Suzumiya Haruhi, our adversaries and the referee."

Okay, here goes nothing again.

It was the Ninjas' turn to start. They started attacking, but Haruhi quickly arrived to defend. She steals the ball and passes it to me.

"Kyon! You better score a goal or else there will be punishment!" No problem. Tiger shoot!

I kick the ball really hard. The ball headed directly to the goal. There was a defense ready to jump to block the ball's path with his chest, but suddenly the ball made a curve and eluded him, and it did the same with another defense. The goalie tried to catch it but it was futile. Goal! 23-1! Wait… that doesn't sound right… nor it's time to celebrate yet. Needless to say, the Ninjas did some confusion-astonishment facial expressions.

And so, the last half passed away quicker than I thought, probably because I was having fun scoring goals. Heck, even the President made some, along with Haruhi, Nagato, Kunikida, Taniguchi, Koizumi, who said "Dango!" with every kick, and Tsuruya, who celebrated her goals with lots of "Nyoro!"s. The ball trajectories were awkward, but ended in the net nevertheless.

The result: 23-30.

The Ninjas' left the field crying. The referee was astonished, too; which I noticed on how stuttered the whistle was. We were celebrating all the way back to the bench. Ha! In your face, laughing man!

Anyways, we noticed that we were really tired to continue, even Haruhi and Tsuruya-san. Fortunately, God… I mean… Haruhi had mercy on us like the past time, obviously with some of my lectures to her again, and retired from the tournament, allowing the Ninjas to pass onto the next round.

I communicated this to them, and they thanked me, kneeling down to me, and kissing my hand. Ew. They also gave me some money like that time with the Pirates, but this time not for buying the bat or the ball, just saying thanks.

And with that money, I treated the team to lunch.

Everyone was commenting about the match we had in the restaurant. The President, Taniguchi, Kunikida, Tsuruya-san and Haruhi had a rush of pride from the victory, like if we had conquered the world or something. Asahina-san and Kimidori-san were more humble, but they were still excited. Nagato and Koizumi had the same face as always. However…

My sister was strangely silent throughout the lunch, only nodding her head and a Koizumi-like smile (a fake smile) on her face when she was asked something…

I wonder why…

Author's comments: Whew, that was fun to write. The real fluff and stuff will start on the next chapters.

I made this pairing 'fic because I wanted to show a new(?) pairing, and to help my writer's block for the IoSH project dissappear (Writing really helps to kick the hell out of that block). There's a pair of references here, too. I also apologize for any grammar and punctuation mistakes I might have done while writing.

I hope you've liked it. Look forward to the next chapter!