Heyo! If you've read my parody of Mishonh from God, then you probably know I take Mandarin. One day I got bored and decided to translate the names of the Xingese characters from Fullmetal Alchemist. And since this is a FMA fanfiction (technically crossover) I decided to put the translations of their names here (Please note that this may not be very accurate. Mandarin is a very complex language. The meaning of a word depends on the tone used):
Ling Yao=Zero to want (This actually makes sense, seeing as he becomes Greed).
Lan Fan=blue food
Mei Chang=beautiful long
Xiao Mei=small beautiful
And, for no real reason, my Mandarin name: Fu Mei Ling. I have no clue what it means except has the mei that means beautiful. Disclaimer: this fanfic includes drunken stupidity, murder, OCs, cursing, and Japanese honorifics. I do not own FMA, Twilight, or Fullmetal Twilite. Now let's do this!
Fullmetal Twilite PARODY
Chapter One: The Night of Drunken Stupidity
Edward Elric was drunk. He was also in Forks, Washington, for some reason. I guess Tara didn't feel the need to why the hell Ed was even in America! Edward Cullen and Bella were just idiots.
"Oms, who are you?" Ed asked no one. Unfortunately for him, Edward Cullen (who will henceforth be known simply as Cullen) was right behind him.
"I'm Edward," Cullen said.
"Whoaaaaaaa," Ed said, sounding like a child on Christmas, "I'm Edward too."
"I'm also Edward," said Edward from Rune Factory.
"Edward, go home you're drunk," Bo said. Edward (very sadly) walked away.
Bo unsheathed her sword and pointed it at Cullen.
"I will kill you," Bo said, "Me and Iris-chan both."
"We aren't in Japan, Bo," Iris said.
"You have to call me Bo-chan," Bo said. Iris sighed.
By this time, Ed had wandered into the street. Mist dragged him back.
"E-Ed-kun," Mist shouted, which really meant she talked slightly quieter than most people normally do,"Y-you can't wall into the street! W-what would Al-kun and Winry-chan do?!"
"We're in Japan?" Ed asked.
"NO!" Iris shouted. Then Bella walked up to Ed and smelled his arm.
"Hi sexy," she said.
Ed flailed his arms around, hitting Bella in the face and shouted, "I am a steg- o-saurus!"
"Dewd, I'm your boyfriend, not him," Cullen said.
"Oh, I thought I was you cuz we look exactly alike," Ed said. Bo, Iris, and Mist face palmed.
"Ed-kun…" Mist said warningly.
"Well just don't hit on ma' girlfriend again, you freakin' alchemist," Cullen said. He made a confused face. Bo and Iris sighed.
"Prepare yourselves," Iris told Ed, Cullen, Bella, and Mist.
"Huh?" they asked. Well, Cullen and Bella did, anyway. Ed had wandered into the street again and Mist ran out to retrieve him.
"Let's go to the bar," Bella suggested.
"Yeah, cause that's exactly what Ed-kun needs, MORE alcohol in his system," Mist said. So they all climbed into Cullen's car. At the bar, everyone got beer.
"My daughter could do simple math when she was four months old," bragged a very drunk Cullen. Mist was hitting her head on a wall.
"Winry-chan and Al-kun are gonna kill me," she moaned.
On the ride home, Bella started making out with Ed. Cullen, who should NOT have been driving, was perfectly fine with it. Because according to him, it's not cheating if you look like whoever's spouse/lover you're having an affair with. Even though Ed looks nothing like Cullen. Mist, however was freaking out.
"E-Ed-kun," she shouted," W-Winry-chan is gonna kill you!"
She imagined Winry killing Ed with her wrench.
"Don't worry, Mist-san," Bo said happily, turning around (she was sitting in the front), "Me and Iris-chan are gonna kill them."
"Th-thank you, B-Bo-san," Mist said. When they got to Cullen and Bella's house, Bella asked Ed to date her. He agreed and they slept in a pile in Cullen and Bella's room. Bo, Iris, and Mist slept in the living room.