Sepulcher
Where I come from, new ideas - new ways of thinking and doing - are not tolerated.
Where to begin? We UrSkeks are an absolutely conformist society. We are creatures of unusual power and magnificent abilities, yet for all that, there is something lacking - has always been lacking, at least to my thinking. And therein lies the problem.
Before the days of my banishment, I was a well-respected persona among my people. I was considered a light, an inspiration, a source of comfort to many. The knowledge accrued by my people on account of our unity made us invincible, or so we thought.
I cannot say at what point my thoughts began to look beyond our traditional boundaries. The slightest deviation from standard practice or thought yielded punishment; all of us UrSkeks knew it. As such, with the knowledge I had gleaned over time, I learned to mask my thoughts as well as I could from my people. We UrSkeks possess tremendous psychic abilities, so naturally, secrets were not something well-kept on our home world.
I had learned, more-or-less, how to simply disguise one thought as another by reason to avoid suspicion. I was treading dangerous ground, and I knew it, but for a long time my methods had worked. It wouldn't have done to let the others know of what transpired in my innermost being. They were simple enough notions at first - ideas to create grand, new architectural designs for such-and-such a purpose. New ways of communication with one another when telepathy wouldn't suffice beyond its limits. I had often even wondered about our world's boundaries - what lay beyond not just our planet, but beyond our galaxy. As we were creatures that bordered on the supernatural, we were capable of space travel.
All in all, I believed that we UrSkeks had too much trapped potential. Our society, our culture, our way of doing things was slowly suffocating us. My people believe that it is what makes us strong and powerful, and I suppose I cannot disagree with that. But I never understood why the cost must be to close ourselves inward instead of...dare I say it?...trying new things.
Time went on. I'd poured myself into the betterment of our society by the standards of my people. But inwardly, a growing dissatisfaction began to emerge. The more I entertained the possibilities that could be had if my people only allowed for it - the music, the architecture, the stories, the discoveries that could be made - the stronger this feeling of restlessness became.
I got careless as time went by.
I never knew who had betrayed my unorthodox thoughts to the elite among my kind. I had always been attentive to guarding my mind, but at the heart of it all - no matter what they say - even UrSkeks can make mistakes.
I won't linger on the unpleasant details of my banishment. I knew it was over when I was approached by the sovereign figures, though really something inside me knew all along that it was only a matter of time. One miscalculation was all it took.
UrSkeks had been banished from our world before. It is not a pleasant notion for any of us, and some fear it to the point of being as unobtrusive as possible. Most of us, however, are not worried about doing or thinking anything that would earn them such a sentence. As I've said, we are a collectivist society. The very idea of unique or strange thinking is largely unheard of and, of course, un-thought of.
Not so with me. After my thoughts had inadvertently betrayed me, I knew that my life was to change drastically. My people, my fellow UrSkeks, saw me as evil. Strange. Radical. A zealot.
The sentence bestowed on me was one we were all well-versed in: I was not to come back to my home world until I had mastered the darkness within myself.
Darkness…
How ironic, how almost humorous, for them to lay such a stipulation on me when their next course of action was to banish me to the utter darkness of the universe.
Though not completely dark, as I would eventually find out...
As the light and grandeur, the sounds of splendor and magnificence left my ears, I wondered if I would ever see my home world again. I thought of the times I had spent working to contribute as much as I could to our nearly-perfect society. I thought of the acquaintances I would miss, the beauty of our planet that I would not see until who-knew-when. Yet strangely, as I left the confines of my home and headed into the outer darkness, I felt something akin to the very opposite of regret. Though I surely was not happy with my banishment nor current predicament, a small notion inside of me began to realize that I was, in an odd sort of way, free.
Still, it was not enough to comfort me during the first stage of my new life. I had no place to go, no planet to call home.
I had heard stories of other banished UrSkeks before. Eons ago, eighteen of our kind had been banished for their unconventional thoughts, and through many a trial, had been allowed back on our home world. Not all banished UrSkeks have shared the same fate, but most of them do indeed come back. Most have little-to-no issues mastering the darkness within themselves.
At the time of my banishment, as I was alone, I thought to myself, "I will be one of those. I will master the darkness within myself, and when I do, I shall be allowed back home."
We UrSkeks do not measure the passing of time the way that other sentient beings in the galaxy do.
I have no way of describing how long I wandered from my planet, only that the passing of time grew heavier and heavier as it lingered on - even to a creature as old as I was.
In retrospect, it is almost strange that it took me so long to turn my thoughts away from my home world and outward toward other things. I was banished, yes, but only after much time had passed did I begin to realize that this did not mean I had to wander aimlessly. I suppose it was a season of mourning, but when I finally mastered my grief, I decided to explore regions far outside of my own galaxy.
There were planets that harbored life, some intelligent, others not. My people were aware of many other beings beside our own, and yet the universe by its very description is endless. In spite of our knowledge and power, there was much we still didn't know.
I was to discover this when I had gone on an indescribable journey to another galaxy altogether and had come across a world I'd never heard of.
From a distance it shone like a small blue orb, and as I neared, I became almost overwhelmingly aware of the life emanating from it. As a creature with psychic abilities, I took great pains to silence the great flood entering into my senses as I neared this curious planet - the first I'd yet passed to harbor such an unusual clamor.
I was intrigued.
As I neared, I mustered all the self control I had and bade myself master the influx of thoughts, sounds and images that threatened to invade my mind. I approached the planet slowly, gathering myself, and found that I could look into this world at my leisure without being subject to the intrusive din.
Yet I did not descend into this new place. Something, perhaps the sheer volume of denizens, told me to wait and observe it from afar. I suspended myself closely, but not too closely, and attempted to glean some information about the planet.
It seemed to harbor almost more life than it could support. Telepathically, I saw visions of grand mountains, wide oceans, scorching deserts and all manner of flora and fauna. It was strange and unlike anything I or my people had ever seen.
I paused in my research to marvel at this strange new place, almost reveling in the chance to see such a rare sight - something not one of my own kind had ever witnessed before. As I lingered there thinking of the stark mountains, the verdant valleys, towering waves made of salt and unexplored cracks and crevices that undoubtedly hid new wonders, I suddenly wished that my people could see what I was seeing. If they could but taste the feel of discovery, surely they would rethink the way they were living and made the rest of us live. Surely they would not be able to resist the allure of exploring places like this...
All thoughts of my home world gone for the time being, I mentally gleaned more knowledge of this place.
The life that it supported was staggering, even to a creature like me who was ageless and had seen and learned of countless things. Still, this is what it is to be born of a conformist society.
The water on this planet harbored an abundance of life, some even akin to the garthim on my home world. The depths beneath the liquid solution on this world were fascinating; layers upon layers of sediment, ridges, volcanoes, canyons, crevices...it went on and on. The center of the planet, most unusually, was made entirely of magma. How could such be? It was so new and oblong, so unlike my own triangular planet with their abstract ways of thinking.
My heart burned with a fierce desire to explore this place, but I stilled my urge. I needed to know more.
There were many large land masses spanning this world. The creatures traversing it were of all shapes and sizes, from microscopically small to very large. That was not so unusual in and of itself, there were other worlds like that. What kept washing over me in waves much like what my mind's eye was seeing, was the sheer volume of living things. I had passed many planets during the dark period of my banishment, and while they all harbored unusual life, I had not yet come across one that harbored it in such magnitude. It only increased my curiosity about this place, whatever its name was.
And something in me, some ancient thought or notion warned that instead of feeding my deviant curiosity, I should have been focused on trying to purge the darkness that had instigated my banishment in the first place. And yet, how could I? How could I be distracted from so many new sights and wonders? Are these not just the things that I had spent most of my time on my home world pining for? To discover and create beyond the boundaries that our society kept in place? It seemed that the chance to learn about a truly intriguing planet had finally come. And I was not about to pass it by.
Still in awe with this world, I looked further and discovered what appeared to be the dominant species of this place. They were bipedal creatures, mortal, with varied physical appearances.
So this planet possessed sentient beings. I was excited at the prospect; perhaps it meant I could find some way to make an appearance and thus establish communication.
Yet I stayed put and gleaned more.
And more...
And more...
It is impossible to think of a singular description for the dominant denizens of this planet except to say that they were everything the UrSkeks were not.
They did not confine themselves to a collectivist society - instead, they grew and thought and expanded upon. They possessed technological advancement and had even attempted space travel, though of course not in the manner that my people were able to traverse it. Their numbers were staggering. Though they were mortal and, from what I learned, lived rather short lives, they seemed to make up for it by giving the most that they had with the time they possessed.
Most interesting were the books these creatures had written, and it was to these I decided to learn something of their history - what manner of people they were, whether they were benevolent, emotional, aggressive, or steadfast.
Mentally traversing the old records of this planet, I saw that it had once been inhabited by large, reptilian-like creatures. That had been long ago even by my people's standards. But I found what I was looking for - some history and insight about these creatures that seemed to be so wonderfully opposite of my own.
They were more different from my kind than I could have imagined.
Contrary to what my mind's eye was seeing in the present - the many buildings in the endless cities, the technology and machinery swarming over the planet like living things - these creatures were, in fact, anything but benevolent.
My excitement upon potentially meeting them was dampened when I learned, through their archives, that their success was built on blood, violence, and loss of life. Worse still, it was a fact that continued to plague these creatures even in the present. Through reading alone, I'd learned of the rise and fall of great empires, peoples warring with one another, dominating, subjugating, enslaving, and all manner of unspeakable acts that would have floored the mere thoughts of my own people.
It gave me pause. Was I never to meet these creatures nor set foot on their home world? Having learned of their nature, I no longer felt a desire to make contact. I was disappointed, for the initial allure of this place had me imagining all manner of discoveries and acquaintances to be had.
I knew now that I could never visit this place, no matter how fascinating it was. But gathering my resolve, I continued my distant research from the safe place I was suspended in. I'd come too far and couldn't stop now.
I'd long lost count of the many archives - books, that I had gathered information from. Indeed, the more I learned of these creatures, the more puzzling they seemed to me. It was some relief to learn that they were capable of good and not merely evil, yet the warning in my heart would try and yank my attention away from this place. These people were not like my own. They had no way of banishing nor even of mastering the darkness within themselves, and worse still, many of them didn't seem to wish it or were even aware of it. How lowly and fallen could an entire populace be, to not even be aware of the evil within one's own heart?
And still there was some light to be had in spite of the miserable failings of these creatures, for they did something that my own kind never did: they explored. They created, and thought, and did, and invented. Most remarkable of all is that these actions were not punished, but looked upon with praise. It seemed that some of the most highly regarded figures on this planet's society were those who thought beyond their own limits. These people invented and had ways of thinking that no one else had ever imagined, and they were praised for it.
I could scarcely comprehend it.
How was it that such a primitive people could harbor so much filth and wickedness and yet so much potential, so many redeeming qualities? It was unlike anything I had ever heard of. I wanted to learn more. Even in the face of all that made these creatures the repulsive beings they were, there was yet another side to them that I began to discern. They were not all evil. Much like us UrSkeks, they harbored both good and ill intent and were in a constant struggle with it - more so even than my own kind, if I'd learned anything of this world.
The psychic talents which were a trademark of my people allowed me to learn much about these alien creatures, and still I had more to learn.
I can scarcely say how long I lingered in the darkness of space, that blue planet constantly within sight, searching, reaping knowledge astoundingly foreign and tantalizingly unique. Part of me loathed to admit that I all but forgot my true purpose of having been exiled, but so taken was I with this place that there was hardly room for guilt.
And as I learned about them, I pitied them.
Foreign as they were in thought and in culture, I was familiar with but one thing: their unending struggle against evil. Inasmuch as I had learned, it was the sole thing these creatures seemed to have in common with my own kind. Yet for all that, their ability to master the darkness within themselves was all but nonexistent. It didn't stop them from trying, and it was true that many didn't. Indeed, as I had mentioned, most were quite unaware of their own failings, their own darkness and corruption of thought. To be aware of it is one thing...If you are aware of it, something can be done about it. At least, it can if you are a UrSkek.
But these people seemed at the complete mercy of darkness.
No, it is incorrect to say "complete," for there was goodness to be found in this place and in the hearts of these aliens as well. I'd read about it in their books, had seen it in the expanse of my mind's eye. They were not all bad.
Perhaps that is another reason why I was so intrigued with these creatures. Their natures defied themselves. I recall wondering many times why, if such people as these could create and invent and imagine the way they did, being such slaves to evil, why not my own kind as well?
To think of the things we UrSkeks could do if only we were not constrained by our own society and false beliefs!
So many aspects to this world there were that I cannot begin to describe them all. It was, so far as I'd ever discovered, the strangest amalgam of cultures I had ever witnessed. That such a thing as laughter and music could be found in the same place as war and what they called disease...Arts and sciences, entertainment and dance, and the struggle against hatred and prejudice continued to run strong.
Still, they thrived.
There was something to be had here, I knew. Though these creatures were mortal and far from perfect, something could be gained from studying them, watching them closely.
They were altogether wretched, it was true. Even I, in my enthusiasm, was not blind to this.
But they had some things right. The allowance to expand one's self and explore every nuance of creativity that was possible for them. In all their imperfection, they did not fear the unknown. No...perhaps they did, but their desire to explore and discover was stronger than the fear of the unknown. That is what I wished my own people embraced.
If we could but learn not to fear unconventional thoughts and ideas, how much greater could our own expansion be than these fallen people? How is it that in spite of all they have gone through, it hasn't made them close in on themselves? They were divided, and...yet they weren't.
I'd used my abilities as far as I dared to absorb book after book from this planet, from historic records to the fabricated tales they seemed to equally enjoy. There appeared to be...no limits whatsoever to the ideas that were contained in these paper manuscripts.
At some point I came across what I gathered was the most valuable manuscript to these creatures. It was a book they called the 'Bible,' and in it I saw reflected the very struggle that my own people were constantly striving against. It spoke to me, and it was only then that I began to wonder if these alien creatures were truly as different from my people as I thought. Maybe...just maybe they were more alike than it seemed.
I not only traversed their intrinsic world of books, but I took great enjoyment in much of this world's music as well. Their instruments and ways of expressing themselves were as varied as they themselves were, and some of it was indeed too foreign for my liking. Still, there were other compositions that were wondrous to the ears, masterpieces which made my soul bleed with a feeling I couldn't understand.
The entertainment and the art to be found on this planet was never-ending. During the time I spent studying this world and its people, I felt I could have lingered there for nearly ever. There were always new ideas coming forth from these creatures, new inventions, new writings, new arts and new ways to entertain. I felt for those who had dedicated themselves to trying to better their world. I had compassion on those who strove to make their planet a place filled with more light and less dark, fruitless as the endeavor seemed to alien eyes like mine.
I felt for these creatures and felt, too, that they were not entirely without hope. I beheld a desire to embrace the light in many of them, even if their attempts to hold back their fallen nature were pitiable.
How I wished that I could introduce this culture to my people, make them see that change, innovation and creativity were not things to be feared but to be embraced. How much more could we UrSkeks benefit from such a notion than these mortal beings? The possibilities could be endless!
...But it was not that simple. I may have been treading dangerous ground while I was on my home world, but I was not completely a fool. To have introduced the variables of this planet's culture to the UrSkeks would be folly. My people barely tolerated the slightest deviation from what was considered normal thinking - how much more would they be opposed to the radical ways of these creatures? I'd never heard of a UrSkek who had gone far enough to warrant permanent exile, but I felt I could very well be the first if I were brazen enough to travel back to my own world with these new notions. My people, however lofty, were not open-minded.
That was the problem, I thought as I gazed in longing frustration at the blue world before me.
How long I spent studying these creatures and their ways, I don't know.
I learned much from them as a species, and yet I knew I could not spent the entirety of my exile observing them. With each orbit of the planet's trajectory around its single sun, I discovered many new things about these people. More than once I longed to make contact with them, to learn from them, but to do so would have been unwise at best. One of the earliest things I learned about them is that they were far from ready to make contact with extraterrestrial beings such as myself. Mayhap, there never would be a time.
And time itself passed quickly for them. They felt the effects more severely than most species that we UrSkeks were aware of. Yet for me, time was a thing neither here nor there. The effects of time upon us were minuscule in comparison. As such, it was many, many cycles of this planet until I began to think, once again, of my original task upon leaving my home.
I still must face the challenge of purging the darkness from within myself...but how? And more importantly, was it truly darkness or simply a different way to think?
The question almost frightened me, for the very thought of choosing to see one's own darkness as anything but was foreign. But my people had banished me simply for thinking outside of their boundaries. How was that to be considered darkness? And why was I asking such questions of myself? It may have been the influence of this planet and its unusual cultures speaking to me, but it made me believe that perhaps there was no darkness within me. Only thinking...thinking that was different.
It didn't answer the question of what I was to do with myself.
If I refused to purge the darkness within me, how was I ever to return home? ...Did I want to return home? I of course could not make a new life for myself on this planet. Even if we UrSkeks had the ability to shape-shift, it would have been difficult. The ways of this planet and its people were too different, too foreign to anything I was used to.
And I was not at ease with the nature of these creatures. I wanted to better my people and my home world, but that didn't mean that I was willing to embrace evil.
To live on this strange planet would mean living alongside that which we UrSkeks lived to purge from our souls: darkness. I knew I could never abide that.
I admired the tenacity of these beings. I admired their will to live, to do more than simply survive even in the face of all the adversity that they have known over the course of their short yet eventful history. For all that, it was not enough to encourage me to bring my newfound knowledge back home. These new ways of thinking offered much for my people, but then perhaps it also would have brought much danger. In looking at the many different beliefs and ways of living these people had, as wonderful as some of it was, it has also brought them much strife. Would the same happen to my people, were new ideas introduced? Assuming they could be introduced…
I was confused and not a little troubled. I wasn't willing to throw my beliefs away so easily, and yet I could not wander this strange new galaxy without a purpose. I could have tried finding a planet inhabited by people more accustomed to alien visitors, but would it be fulfilling enough for my insatiable ambition? Would there be satisfaction? Could I ever truly feel at home in any foreign place?
It was at this time that my thoughts began taking a turn for the worse. I felt adrift not just in the galaxy but in my own divided heart as well. I longed, thirsted, for so much more than what my people had to offer, but I saw no way of having what I wanted - an ability to return home and introducing my fellow UrSkeks to new thinking at the same time.
I think something in me knew that I could never truly go home...not after all that I had learned from this very contradictory planet. How could I, after all I had seen and witnessed? What was left for me, I simply couldn't say.
I eventually departed the solar system that was home to the planet I had observed and studied and learned from for so long. Not without a gift of thanks to its inhabitants for enlightening me to new ways of thinking.
Above all that I had gleaned from the strange culture, I felt most drawn to its music. The broad spectrum of sounds that could be made were...as endless as the cosmos itself. Much of the music I heard from this planet made me happy. I thought it only fitting that I give back what they had unknowingly given me.
I sang a parting song which I knew they would not hear, but it comforted me to sing it as an anonymous way of showing my appreciation. My only audience were the silent, far-off stars, but I chose to believe that my song - one sung by many UrSkeks when they were particularly pleased - somehow made its way down to the inhabitants below. It was wishful thinking, but I entertained the thought of my gift bringing a little more happiness and light to their dark world - a world which was in constant search of light, trapped in an endless struggle to reach it and seemingly getting no nearer in the present than they had been in the distant past.
I could not help these people, but I could contribute my own small wisp of light to the darkness that surrounded them.
I hope it finds its way down there more easily than I was to find my way back home.
A/N: Like I said in the summary, I know this fic isn't keeping with the Dark Crystal movie theme! I'm sure it's no mystery that the "alien creatures" this UrSkek is referring to are humans and the planet Earth. I've just always wondered how things would look if humans were a part of the Dark Crystal universe. I think it's best that they aren't, they don't seem to belong in the same world, but I still thought this might make an interesting "what if" story.
Needless to say, the new Dark Crystal series got me delving back into the movie's world. I don't think the UrSkeks are expanded upon enough, so I figured anything was possible. This was partly inspired by the "Shards of the Crystal" fic by D.J-S.C.Y who alluded to humans in the world of the Dark Crystal. Lastly, I decided the name of this UrSkek OC to be IkaMae, but his name isn't mentioned in it. Other than that, as strange as this one-shot might be, hope it was at least interesting.