Hello everyone! Welcome to day 19! Reviews are my fave Christmas present!
Moya svezda - my star
moya solensyko – my sunshine
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
Natasha and the rest of Shield had been searching for Clint for nearly two weeks when they finally found someone who had information.
In an hour, they had what they needed and werre heading to his location.
He'd been ambushed on a solo mission, they'd taken his comms and they'd lost contact.
The men who had taken him were not at their usual places and he'd been carted from America to Sweden of all places.
On the jet there, Natasha spoke softly with Hill and Coulson, going over and over their plan.
They didn't know if Clint would be alive, if he'd been tortured or just held. They had no idea what to expect.
There was a big team going after him, Natasha leading instead of Coulson.
She fell into the role a little uneasily but she was thorough none the less.
They landed at the base and split into three teams, one to the computers to get the information onto hard drives, two to dispose of the enemy and find Clint.
Natasha stalked the halls, Hill at her side, five agents spread around them.
They were quick and efficient, dropping the enemies and checking the rooms.
It was by chance that Natasha's group was the one to find Agent Barton.
Natasha sent the others to scout for more agents, her and Maria heading to Clint.
He was tied up to a chair, blinking rapidly at them.
"Clint?" Natasha asked softly, kneeling in front of him.
Her quick eyes scanned his body, checking for injuries.
He seemed relatively unharmed, which made no sense at all. He had a few cuts and bruises but was awake.
"Are you hurt?" She asked him as she untied the ropes around him.
"Not really." He said quietly, his words slightly slurred.
Maybe they'd drugged him?
She tilted his chin up and that was where she found the little bruise by his jaw. Needle mark.
"Do you know what they gave you, Clint?" One hand cupped the side of his face, forcing him to look at her.
"No." He shuddered, his gaze distant.
"Something to keep me awake. I haven't slept in...how long have I been here?"
"Thirteen days." She said slowly, frowning. He was a little warm and when she took his pulse, it was a little fast.
"You haven't slept at all since you've been here?" Maria asked, looking shocked.
"The first few days, I think I grabbed a little sleep. Then they started the injections and I've been-" he cut himself off, his mouth opening silently as he stared behind Natasha at something they couldn't see.
"Barney." Clint whispered, reaching his hand out.
Natasha and Maria exchanged glances, looking back at the empty corner.
But Clint was moving towards him, his eyes fixed.
"Barney what are you doing here?" He whispered, standing on trembling legs to walk towards the corner.
"Clint? "Natasha murmured, stepping in front of him.
It was like he didn't hear her and he pushed past her, arm still outstretched.
"Clint, there's no one there." She said softly, startled to see tears streaming down his cheeks.
He'd lost some weight and the tears shined against his cheekbones.
"Clint?" She tried again, touching his shoulder. "Clint, Barney isn't there. He's gone, sweetheart."
Clint tilted his head but said nothing. She could see his body trembling, his hands making involuntary jerking motions.
"We have to get him out of here." Natasha said quietly to Maria, his arm wrapping around Clint's waist.
He went with her easily enough as he spoke quietly to someone they didn't see.
"I thought you were gone, Barney. I knew you'd come back for me." He murmured, making Natasha's heart wrench.
Barney had abandoned him at the circus and he'd told her that two years after coming to Shield, he'd finally worked up the courage to try and find him. He'd found his gravestone instead. He'd gotten in with some really bad guys and had been stabbed to death.
Clint continued talking as they reached the jet, him leaning heavily on Natasha.
She lay him down gently on the bed, taking his hand. His fingers jerked in hers, his whole body wracked with tremors.
He was pale and sweating but physically seemed alright.
The sleep deprivation was mainly effecting his brain, and his glazed eyes stayed fixed on the spot he was sure his brother was in.
Natasha couldn't get him to focus on her so she just let him have his moment with his dead brother.
It started out okay, Clint just babbling about how he'd known he would come for him. How he wouldn't leave him.
They Clint started to get panicked and it was clear whatever he was seeing wasn't innocent anymore.
"Barney-" he gasped. "You're bleeding."
Clint had tortured himself over not trying to find him sooner, even if his older brother had abandoned him. He'd gotten a hold of the autopsy results and had taken the pictures out and looked at them every day.
He'd been stabbed 41 times, all over his body and the first pictures had been straight from the crime scene, his brother's body in a massive pool of his own blood.
Clint gasped, breathing heavily through his nose. "Let me help." He pleaded. "Let me help."
Natasha nodded over the doctor, the man waiting with a sedative.
She didn't give the okay until Clint had stood, shouting and screaming at the air, his breathing fast and ragged, his chest heaving.
With pain in her eyes, she nodded and held his shoulders down to the bed as the medic slid the needle into his neck.
He struggled desperately, screaming at the top of his lungs that he had to help, to get off him, his brother was dying why wouldn't they let him go!
He stilled after a few minutes and Natasha sank into her seat, hating herself for taking her from his brother, even if he hadn't really been there.
Later that evening, Clint was sleeping peacefully, getting the rest his body so desperately needed. He had an IV giving him nutrients, and blankets covering him.
The doctors said that there would likely be no long lasting issues, and that it was unlikely he'd even remember anything from then getting there.
...
Clint slept for 51 hours straight, finally beginning to wake up early the third day.
Natasha hadn't left his side, was still in her Shield cat suit. Phil and Maria had taken turns dropping water and food off for her since she refused to leave him.
She'd shoved her greasy hair up into a ponytail and had one of Phil's hooded sweatshirts over her suit.
When Clint began to wake up, she was taking his hand immediately, waiting with bated breath.
"Ugh...Tasha?" He winced, looking over at her. "You look like shit." He said wryly, with a hint of worry.
"Thanks." She said flatly, reaching over to stroke her hand through his hair.
"You've been out for a couple of days." She said softly.
"Yeah, I feel like I have." He groaned. "You don't look like you've slept." He hummed, drawing his fingers over the bruises under her eyes.
She shrugged. "I'm fine. How're you feeling?"
"Tired still. Achy. Really not so bad. When did you find me?"
"Do you remember us coming to get you?" She asked instead of answering.
"Uh...no, not really. I vaguely remember being on the quinjet but that's it."
"I'm so sorry, Clint." She whispered, quickly rubbing at her eyes.
"Natasha? What is it?"
"I'm asked them to sedate you. I know you hate it but...but you were really agitated. You..."
"What?" He asked softly. "What's got you so upset?"
"You saw Barney. You were talking to him."
"Oh...shit, I'm sorry." He sighed. "That I don't remember."
"Why are you apologising?" She asked incredulously.
"Because that couldn't have been nice to see." He shrugged.
"It wasn't. I couldn't get you to focus on me. You were seeing...I don't know what, but I think his death. I didn't want to take him away from you but...you would've hurt yourself."
"Natasha, moya zvezda, thank you. Barney's gone and I wouldn't want to live through his death again." He shuddered.
"I mean it. Thank you." He said quietly ,squeezing her hand.
"I...Um yeah, anytime." She frowned.
"It's alright. I get it, I wouldn't have liked to watch you live through your mama's death again. It was better that way."
Natasha nodded silently, brushing over his hair.
"You need to shower and get some sleep." Clint murmured, squeezing her fingers.
"I'm honestly alright." He hummed.
She shrugged and shook her head. "I'm good too."
"Alright then, how about you climb up here and sleep with me for a little bit. When I'm cleared to leave, we'll go shower in my room."
She nodded, silently standing and clambering into the bed with him.
He wrapped his arms around her and sighed happily, yawning widely.
"Sleep, moya solensyko." He hummed against her hair.
She nodded and reluctantly closed her eyes, giving into sleep almost immediately.
Clint held her gently, before cooing his eyes and drifting off too.
Later they would wake up to a message from Coulson, the two off them cuddled up asleep. Clint was drooling and Natasha was clinging to him like a kitten.
They would say they hated the picture but would find it framed in each of their rooms, one of the only pictures they had together.