What am I writing? I have written 3 fanfics today! I like the blue mosquito the best!!! This is fun! I like this! What shall I write now? I want to do something…big…Sirius…Harry….oh yes and thank everyone who actually LIKED my Pokemon story….oh what AM I going to write? Let me just do whatever comes…
AHA! An idea!
A VERY WEIRD STORY: People from Gilbert and Sullivan suddenly find themselves in Hogwarts: Frederick picks between Maybel and Yum-Yum, fights with Nanki Poo, Ko-ko duels with Major General Stanley and Sir Joseph Porter about whose patter song is the best, Krum blows up Frederick for making advances on Hermione!
Frederick: Where am I?
Harry: (looks for glasses, finds them, puts them on) Aaah!!! A GUY IN OUR DORMITORY! IMPOSTER! IMPOSTER!
Ron: Imposter? Where?
Prof. McGonagall: (Runs in) What's going on here!
Seamus: RUN! He has a sword!
Prof. M: Relax Seamus we have WANDS, remember.
Seamus: Oh, right, duh.
Neville: Swords? AAAAH!!!!!!
Girls, first years, rest of Gryfinndor comes in
Colin Creevy: Harry, are you all right?
Harry: AAAH!!!!!
Fred.: (sees Hermione) aha! Maybel! (kisses her) In 1940 I of age shall be! I'll then return and claim you I declare it!
Herm: GET OFF ME!!!!
Fred.: You missed your line! You were supposed to say "yes I'll be strong"
Viktor Krum: (runs in from Bulgaria) LET GO OF MY GIRLFRIEND!!!
Yum-Yum: Am I in the wrong play? Where is my Nanki Poo?????
Fred.: Oh my! What grace! What delicacy! What refinement!
Yum-Yum: I assume you are referring to my beauty?
Fred.: Oh, yes, sweet rapture, screw Maybel!
Yum: Oh, I see, are you Gilbert and Sullivan too? Are you the tenor from some other opera?
Fred.: Well, yes….
Nanki-Poo: (slaps Frederick with a trout) You BEEP BEEP you you young rip little BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP you to BEEP you BEEP go to BEEP! Get the BEEP off Yum-Yum!
Fred.: Finders keepers!
Koko: hey, she's MY ward and she got promised to Nanki Poo so that I could execute him…
Pish-Tush: Correction, you must first cut off your OWN head before severing anyone elses. After all, you WERE condemned for flirting.
Iolanthe and fairies: We are dainty little fairies ever singing ever dancing! We indulge in…
Mikado: Koko have there been any executions in Tittipu?
Poohbah: yes, here is the list of….
Mikado: but Nanki Poo is alive!!!
Koko: Well since your majesty's will….
Sir Joseph Porter and Major General Stanley:
My patter song is better than your patter song!
Koko: no its NOT
Porter: well how come MINE is always on CDs
Koko: Well they cut you from Loki's favourite highlights CD!!
Porter: Well they cut you too Koko!
Koko: Yeah but they have Tit-Willow in it!
Lord Chancellor: Pardon me, but EVERYONE can see that she likes that CD best because it features my When I went to the Bar and my The Law is the True Embodiment.
Stanley: Yeah, she likes it because she likes your songs but she can't FIND them because they were cut from all her OTHER discs!
Koko: Well, neither of you were on the Black CD, and that had MY patter song AND Joseph's. She likes that CD because its unusual.
John Wellington Wells: Well, no she likes MY song best.
Me: SHUT UP all of you!! I like ALL patter songs!!! I like that CD because it has good recordings! And you are all embodiments of John Reed! So be QUIET! Harry needs REST!!! In my next fanfic I am going to hurt him really badly and I want him to be prepared!
Musical characters: oh, fine! But what's your favourite song?
Me: NEVER MIND THE WHY AND WHEREFORE!!
Porter: Really? Will you sing it with me? Captain Cochran!
Captain Cochran: Yes?
Porter: Sing with us.
Cochran: If I what?
Porter: If you please. Never Mind the Why and wherefore. Loki is Josephine.
Cochran: All right.
(We sing Never Mind the Why and Wherefore. After I kick everyone except the Gryfinndor guys out of the dormitory. Krum blows up Frederick before I can zap him back to Cornwall…then I zap Porter and Cochran back.)
Me: Potter, do try and get some sleep. They are going to hurt you very badly.
Harry: Why would anyone want to hurt me?
Me: Oh, Potter, you poor, poor boy. I've decided that you are a descendant of Godric Gryffindor. And Voldemort wants to make your death SLOW and agonising.
Harry: that sounds pleasant.
Me: shoo Ron. This is private. Between me and Harry.
(Ron leaves)
Me: yeah Harry, they hit you with a cat-o-ninetails.
Harry: really?
Me: yeah, and Sirius rescues you, Voldemort lets him on purpose, and then he sits by your bedside 'til you come to, several weeks later. He refuses to sleep and only eats when forced…..
Harry: Oh please don't let him do that.
Me: Voldemort hurting you? Oh, I think that will be fun for him. He will, I can't do ANYTHING about it.
Harry: No, I mean Sirius…
Me: Oh, sorry Harry, you know too much already, I have to go. Since I am not a book character I can Apparate! Bye!
Harry: Wait, book character?
But I am gone….
The end
Sorry everyone! That was long and you probably didn't understand it unless you are a Gilbert and Sullivan addict like me! But I had fun writing it! It's as close to a cliché as I'll get!! Well, since I'm in it it's a cliché, but in a sense its NOT because I've never read anyone's fanfic where Gilbert and Sullivan people come in…
Now for the disclaimer!
William Schwenck Gilbert owns Frederick, Maybel, Koko, all the other people you don't recognise from Harry Potter, I own me, Arthur Seymour Sullivan owns the tune to Never Mind the Why and Wherefore, Gilbert owns the LYRICS to Never Mind the Why and Wherefore, JK Rowling owns harry, I own me, as I said, I should have made Crookshanks bite somebody…And I am not making money! Wait, why did I do a disclaimer for the Gilbert and Sullivan people? They've been dead for over 50 years! Their work is up for grabs now, can be reproduced without permission, and you can make money off their stuff…but this is NOT the case with Harry Potter, so I did need a disclaimer. And I'm honest. Oh well. In other words no one in that fic was mine except for me! Also do you think that belongs in the musical section? I'll have to think about that…
Loki