A/N: Please note this was first published on archive of our own. Forgive any errors, they are my own. I welcome all comments, and please be aware this is my first ever fic. Bioware own all, I'm only just playing in their world. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Definitely Not a hangover

"Wha...not again!" thought Natalia Hawke as her stomach rolled for the second time in a row, and then couldn't help but wretch uncontrollably on a now empty stomach, having lost the battle to keep anything in it moments before. Gripping the blessed bucket, thankful that it was close to hand as she had very little time to reach for it upon waking first thing this morning, she waited until this last bout was over and sat back on the bed.

Blaze her Mabari hound, snorted and lifted his head, tilting it at her and whining. "Yes Blaze, I'm not feeling too great." At which point he wagged his stub of a tail and rested his head on her thigh as if trying to offer comfort. Hawke absent mindedly patted his soft fuzzy head and he huffed back.

"I'm definitely not hungover...I did have the flu the week before last...but I haven't felt right for a while...hmmm...first time I've vomited though, and no one else is complaining about feeling off colour...oh!..flames!"

She deposits the now offending bucket on the floor by her feet and continues to sit there in a daze, working things out and trying (and failing mostly) not to panic.

Then it hits her like a mabari up the face. If she didn't feel sick before, the realisation of her probable condition makes her feel very faint indeed so she lays back on the bed, the dog moving off her.

After many shocked minutes, trying to get her head around the most likely cause, she gives herself a small shake, mentally and physically and after checking her cramping stomach has settled enough, scoots from the bed, standing unsteadily gripping the bed post for support.

"Well, I guess I need a second opinion before I even think about talking to Fenris." she mutters to herself.

"Oh! Fenris...I need to make sure there's anything to discuss before I even approach you about it!" Glad that he had not stayed last night due to an errand he had to take care if first thing, he'd left before she'd fallen asleep, leaving her with sweet soft kisses and a promise of her favourite sweets when he came back later that day.

Hawke shivered in the warmth of the room. Yes their relationship had deepened beyond her wildest dreams, they shared so much now and they both knew how much they loved each other, but this - this might be too much for him to take. They'd need to discuss this sooner rather than later if she was pregnant.

Sighing and running a hand through her hair, she got washed and pulled on clean robes, ready to head out, not feeling up to breakfast.

There really was only one person who could confim the diagnosis. However, things between her and Anders had been strained since, well...since she chose to be with Fenris.

She had known the healer had strong feelings for her, and perhaps it had been a bit cruel looking back, but the emotional limbo she'd been suffering after Fenris left had her confused, desolate and lets just say not entirely emotionally stable.

Up until that moment, Anders had been her closest friend, and she mistook that for something more. Had felt a despair so deep and therefore reached for what little comfort she could, but when it came down to it, she realised that it had always been Fenris and so she had refused his advances.

The realisation she loved Fenris had made it feel wrong and even being in the same room with him somewhat a betrayal.

So Anders had stormed out, and since then she had tried to make it up to him, but nothing she could say or do could bridge the gap that now existed between them. They were barely friends, a cool remote connection now existed when once it felt she had at least found someone to perhaps ease the pain a little from losing Bethany. She had found an easy and open friendship in him, able to talk about magic for once. It hurt so much that the one person who understood her from the start was so closed off and out of reach.

But she needed a healers opinion. It would most likely mean further heartbreak for them both, her from losing more of her friend, and him because it would be more evidence she didn't love him the way he wanted her to.

Hawke was a healer herself, but a more specific diagnosis was required, so no alternative was available to her.

So having cleaned up and now fully dressed, she pulls on her boots, grabs her staff and sets off downstairs. Blaze her mabari jumps off the bed and closely follows her.