Okay new story, there is a part two to this so leave a review if you want more :)

Martin couldn't think the only thing he could focus on was the way Danny was going in and out of him so fiercely it was like he thought that this would be the last time they would ever be together. "Danny!" Martin arched his back arms and legs wrapping around the man above him. Danny growled going faster till Martin's hips were coming off the bed from the force of his thrust, "Yes, Danny Ahhhh," Danny hit his prostate over and over causing Martin to see stars, "Ohhh, I-I love you, Danny I love you," he screamed feeling Danny twitch inside him and fill him. Danny gave a few more shallow jabs before pulling out taking Martin's cock in his hand till he came.

They lay there for a bit till Danny got up and left for home. Martin buried his face in the pillow and cried. He and Danny had been going at this for a year now and he knew that he screwed up by saying I love you. It was an unspoken rule that they were supposed to be detached during this but Martin couldn't help it.

He loved Danny. He wanted to be with Danny. But by him uttering those words Danny started to ignore him realizing that he got too involved, Martin felt a whole inside him were Danny once was, but he held it together during work. Sometimes he got a word or two from Danny but for the most part he stayed away.

Then it happened Danny met Elena. Because he and Danny weren't dating so it want like Danny was cheating on him but it still hurt. And when Martin was shot Danny was too busy with Elena to visit him and when he started to fight the addiction to the pain killers he was taking, he all but left him in the middle of his healing process. But what set him over the edge was hearing that he and Elena were dating.

Now he lay on the floor on the cusp of dying, he over dosed trying to take enough pills to ease his heart ache. Right before he thought he was dying he thought he felt Danny's hands on him teething to shake him awake

~.~.~.~.~

The whole team waited in the waiting room. Danny was slouched in his chair with his head in his hands one leg bouncing as he tried not to panic. "Everything is going to be okay," Elena said putting her hand on his back trying to comfort him only to be pushed away with no response. The doctor told them that Martin was going to be okay but they had to wait a little while longer till they could visit.

Samantha pulled Elena away from him, "Just give him some time," she said.

"You know what he said to me?" Danny asked finally snapping out of it,. "He keep saying 'let me go, no one needs me here just let me go,'" Danny started to sob, "It's all my fault, I didn't help him the way I should have with those pills and then.. " he couldn't finish his sentence, he couldn't let them know.

"Mr. Fitzgerald can have visitors now," A nurse smiled at them before adding, "He's awake and has been asking for a Danny Taylor."

"You should go see him," Sam said gently causing Danny to shake his head.

"I'll go with you if you need me to," Elena offered.

"No that would just make things worse." They all looked confused at this. "I'll see him tomorrow." He left quickly.

"What was that about?" Jack asked.

"Your guess is as good a mine." Vivian said.

~.~.~.~.~

Martin wouldn't look at them when they entered the room, "Hey Martin," Sam tried to sound cheerful though Martin didn't answer, "Danny had to go home but he said he'll try to visit you tomorrow. He's just a little shook up right now." Martin nodded looking out the window.

"Are you feeling any better?" Jack asked, again Martin nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Elena asked trying not to pry but, she really wanted to know what happened. Not for Martin's sake but so she knew how to deal with Danny when she saw him. Martin glanced at her before he looked back at the window.

It wasn't long till they heard a choked sob from the hospital bed, then a whimper. His shoulder shook as he tried to hold back all the emotions that he still had pent up inside him. He didn't want to show weakness in front of his co-workers, he couldn't cry. But it was too late he was already crying.

Vivian rubbed his back trying to comfort him, "It's going to be alright," She said but Martin shook his head.

"No, no it's not," He cried briefly defeated, "I-I really just want to be alone now." Martin said his face buried in his pillow.

"Okay," Jack said, "Don't worry about work for right now, take ask the time you need." they left Jack letting the nurses know to keep a close eye on Martin

~.~.~.~.~

When Danny did visit, Martin was asleep. So he just stood there not really knowing what to do. He wanted to apologize, to hold Martin in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that no matter what he was going to be there for him for now on. But he couldn't bring himself to say it.

He sat down in a chair next to Martin's bed side taking one of Martin's hands in his, careful not to wake him. Sam peeked her head in, "Danny you finally came. Do you want me to leave?" She asked not wanting to impose.

"N-no it's fine," He sighed letting his fingers gently play with the skin on the back of Martin's hands the way he used to when they laid in need together after fooling around in bed.

"You didn't come into work today is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Sam sighed knowing that Danny was doing the topical I'm-a-guy-so-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-my-feelings thing.

"I know that you were the one that found him and things are really hard right now, but if you give him some time he'll be just fine," She smiled.

"It's all my fault Sam," he whispered.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is, if I was able to man up and just except my feelings for him none it's this would have ever happened."

"What are you taking about?"

"Martin and I were sleeping together and things started to get serious so I bailed. But we weren't dating so I didn't really say anything I just stopped seeing him and started seeing Elena. And when he got shot he I wasn't there and I wasn't much help when I was helping him get off the pain medication..." His voice broke ad he held into Martin's hands crying. Sam was shocked, she always knew that Martin and Danny had a special relationship but she didn't know that they were that close

Martin made a noise causing Danny to quiet some so not to wake him, he wasn't sure how to deal with Martin yet, "I love him," Danny said, "I just don't know what to do about it." He sighed.

"What's holding you back?" Sam asked, "You're a grown man, you don't have to worry about what your family would say, and we wouldn't care if you guys were dating."

"I've gone my whole life denying these feelings. My whole life it's not that easy to go back."

"Just think about it," Danny nodded releasing Martin's hand ad he got up to leave, "When he wakes up can you tell him I stopped by but he was asleep."

"I think it would be best if you stayed, he really wants to see you."

"Sam..."

"You don't have to it was just a suggestion."

Danny bit his lip nervously looking at Martin's tense face that was normally relaxed when he was asleep like this, "I'll come back tomorrow… maybe." Sam nodded, watching Danny leave

~.~.~.~.~

It wasn't long till Martin was released, all he had to do was pretend to feel better and he was out and back in his apartment. He still didn't go back to work yet not ready to face everyone. By now there was no doubt that the whole building knew about what he tried to do. Besides when he went back he would be stuck doing desk work and having to talk to the in house therapist. Vivian and Samantha would drop by to give him a homemade meal once in a while and make sure that he was doing okay. Jack would call when he could. Even Elena wanted to make sure he was alright. The only one who he hadn't seen is Danny.

Now he sat in a corner in his room with the lights off trying not to think. It hurt that after he and Danny had shared such intimate moments together that he didn't even want to be friends anymore, that he didn't even care. These thoughts brought him back to where he was before.

He tried to think of better times like when Danny first kissed him. That put a small smile on his face.

The buzzer on his door rang causing him to scramble to answer it, "Who?" He asked.

"It's Danny." Martin's heart flutters as he pressed the button to unlock the main door unlocking his front for when Danny came up, "Hey," Danny says quietly, "I brought pizza."

"Oh, thanks," Martin put on his best smile.

"How have you been?"

"Better."

"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier I just...I didn't know what to say or how to deal with this. You scared me."

"I…" Martin didn't know what to say so he just kept his head down.

"But I'm glad you're doing better," Danny embraced Martin in a firm but gentile hug burying his nose in Martin's hair inhaling his scent.

"I've missed you," Martin mumbled into Danny's chest.

"I know, I know." Danny rocked him back and forth in a soothing motion.

"Not just now, before everything. When you left I missed you."

"Martin..."

"I just want or friendship back." Martin's voice broke ad he started to cry.

"I want more than just a friendship." Danny said

TBC, maybe