When I opend my eyes!
I
find myself in an black room. Nobody 's there. It's just me. But
whatever I do, I always scare myself. All I can see is my own
reflexion. Me, the real me. Everytime I see the beast within me,
staring at me and I just stare back. If somebody would see, they
would think that there where to people inside that room. A man,
capeble of loving and the other pure evil. Than when he leaves me
alone, I find peace, but when he doesn't, he can make me agree, but
mostly afraid. When I open my eyes in the morning, I know he's
there, in my mind, the guild keeps the blood lust away. I should say,
keeps me from killing people, for there blood. Day in day out I live
of animal blood. I can't come out at daytime. But at night, before
I'm foreced to rest and close my eyes, I go out and face evil. If I
could I would take my own evil away. But can't only "they" can.
I don't want to go to hell, but I know that I don't realy have a
chance to get into heaven. The good I have been doing will never
erase what I have done in past. It is writen that a vampire with a
soul, would do so many good, that he would be rewarded. That vampire
would get real live, a heartbeat, air in he's lungs. I was the only
one with a soul, but now there's Spike…
He gets a soul and
just lives with it, it seems that he doesn't even have one problem
with it. Like the guild that took me apart.
I should thank my
reflexion, he doesn't what to desturb my thinking. Sleeping is such
a nice thing…