All I See Is You

CH. 1 The Picture Worth a Thousand Words

Everyone was packing. Tensions were still a bit high because Buffy had just gotten back with the scythe and had been completely right about every thing. It also may have had something to do with the fast approaching apocalypse courtesy of the First. Buffy and the others were still researching the scythe, and figured the battle would come pretty soon. Since the town was completely empty, the potentials could take whatever they wanted, and had acquired a few new belongings. Giles suggested that the girls pack up what was most important, incase they needed to make a quick getaway. Buffy was doing the same.

She was in her bedroom sorting through things with Xander and Dawn, but her mind was elsewhere. He hadn't come. The night before, when she had sat alone on a stranger's bed, she thought maybe, just maybe, he would have heard about all that they were going through and come back to Sunnydale. He hadn't. It was the first time, really, that he had not been there. Oh, sure he had left initially, but when she really needed someone, just to be comforted and loved and protected, Angel always showed. When Joyce had died, when Buffy had been ripped from heaven, they had seen each other, if only briefly.

Spike had been around, too. Buffy hadn't realized it but he was. That's why Buffy had finally let herself love his company last night. She wanted Angel to be there, to console her, but he couldn't. So she let Spike. She knew she had used him, and she hadn't seen him or spoken to him since the night before. And like in another sense, Spike was convenient were Angel could never be…

"Hey Buff!"

"What?..…Sorry." Buffy snapped out of her reverie.

"Took ya long enough. Xander only called your name three times." Dawn joked.

"My bad. What were you saying, Xand?"

"Just that I found some old boxes."

In an attempt to clean, Xander had been going through the closet. Inside were half a dozen cardboard boxes, carefully labeled and stacked.

"Oh, yeah, those were from a few summers ago. Since Buffy was spazing out about college, she organized and boxed all the old stuff she wasn't taking with." Dawn supplied.

College wasn't the only thing I was spazing about. Buffy thought to herself.

It had been right after Angel had left and she had wanted a tedious project to take her mind off of him.The Three of them unstacked the boxes and started looking through them. Inside were old toys and clothes, nothing of interest. Buffy saw one larger box that she remembered pushing deep into the back of her closet. She reached for it before the others could see. Buffy was unsure if she wanted to look at the contents; she knew she might be in a universe of pain if she did. Instead she examined the outside of the box. She had written a capital 'A' in permanent marker in one corner. Buffy had wanted to keep it nondescript, incase anyone was looking at it. Only she knew what it symbolized, a secret she had used in her diary since she was sixteen. But she wasn't sixteen anymore; she was a strong, independent woman. She was not afraid of her past, or reminders of it. Buffy took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. Than she opened the box.

(0O0)

Inside were all the old things that reminded her of him. Buffy's old white prom dress, neatly and carefully placed in a garment bag; a big comfy leather jacket he gave her. Buffy lifted it to her face and inhaled. After all the years, it still smelled like Angel. The pleasant smell she remembered all to well. She set the coat down gently. Among numerous others were the big silver cross necklace, the small tattered leather bound book of sonnets. Towards the bottom were a few scattered photos and the ring she had gone back for. She wistfully recalled taking it off the carpet at the mansion after finding that he had somehow come back. Even if Angel hadn't this time, she liked the memory.

The Slayer reached down and grabbed a picture at random. She was looking down at a photo Willow had taken at the Bronze during junior year. Buffy was looking at the camera and Angel was looking at Buffy. She seemed relaxed and wasn't wearing a fake I'm-getting-my-picture-taken smile. Buffy's smile was genuine, easy and content. It was the sort of smile that showed that, if only for the fleeting second, she was completely pleased with her life. As Spike had put it once, Buffy glowed. Angel was just above her in the shot. Not quite in profile, his face was turned in Buffy's direction. Willow was quite a good photographer; for once Angel wasn't in shadow. And whether of his free will or not, all of his face was illuminated by a lamp just out side the photo's frame. Both of his dark brown eyes were twinkling at his girlfriend and Angel was smiling his rare, happy smile that was just for her. The picture was blatant proof of a long gone time and place were the two of them were completely in love and felt like the only two living beings in the world. Buffy dropped it back into the depths of the cardboard box.

She watched it flutter gently to the bottom with a feeling of fleetingly mournful regret. But than a new sensation came over the slayer; she some how felt empowered. More so even than she felt after snuggling the night before. She was confident that they would win. Buffy somehow knew it. Because even if Angel wasn't at the hellmouth yet, she could feel him-Always.