OK everyone I have NO idea just how to go about getting files on fanfiction.net so I am going to just try and use Blaise's instructions…(thanks a million Blaise!) oh and by the way I have MUCH longer and better stories than this, but I decided that since this was the shortest and I don't care a lot about it, that it didn't really matter if it didn't work….So here goes! An awful story about what would happen if a Pokemon taught DATDA…
The Revenge of the Slow Pokemon!
"Wonder who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher is?" wondered Harry aloud.
"Dunno," said Ron and Hermione jointly. At that moment Dumbledore stood up at the High Table.
"Students," he boomed, "The Defense teacher chose not to join us at this evenings feast. Its classes will take place as scheduled! Now, bedtime!"
"Ooh look!" exclaimed Hermione, peering at their schedules. "We've got Defense first thing tomorrow!"
"Excellent."
"You mean you thought the pudding was good too?"
"Honestly Ron, can you only think about food?"
They made their way to the dormitory. As all three of them were prefects, they knew the password and entered. Then they went upstairs to bed.
The next morning the whole gang awoke and went to breakfast. [sorry if this sounds un-Harryish/un-British. I just want to get to Defense so I can write about…]
Before they knew it was time for Defense. As the 5th year Gryfinndors entered the classroom, they saw at the head a pink thing with a shell on its tail. Hermione, who was very much in touch with Muggle culture, exclaimed, "THAT'S A POKEMON!"
Indeed it was. A Slowbro stood at the front of the room.
"Slow," it said.
"Pardon?" said the class.
"Bro," it said again. At this point the class decided that their teacher was nutters. Hermione went upstairs to fetch Madam Pomfrey. When she returned she had both the nurse and the Headmaster in tow.
"Dear, dear," said Professor Dumbledore. "I was under the impression that it could talk….I suppose I'll have to hire a Psyduck…"
Then the Slowbro ate him.
"Slow. Bro," words appeared over his head in a speech bubble. "Yummy," they spelled.
"AAAAH!" shrieked half the class.
"DON'T PANIC!" shouted Madam Pomfrey.
"We already have!" wailed Lavender Brown.
Harry meanwhile, vainly wondered if a Disarming spell would do any good. [author's note: It seems that Disarming is Harry's answer for everything. He thought about Disarming the dragon, he Disarmed the giant spider…oh my god that was SO funny I laughed for HOURS because he disarmed the spider to make it drop him, lol, and sorry if Harry sounds a little slow…] Harry used the Disarming spell whenever possible. It was one of the few spells that worked for him…
"Expelliarmus!" he bellowed. Slowbro's teeth flew out of his mouth, unfortunately, a sharp one ended up piercing Harry's skull, Harry died afterwards of complications, because Madam Pomfrey couldn't help him, Slowbro's enormous pointy shell had landed on her and she had died too. Slowbro then turned back into a Slowpoke, because Harry's Disarming spell had taken off the shell from his tail. But he had accomplished his mission. He had killed Potter for the Dark Lord, and Albus Dumbledore in the bargain…The Dark Lord who understood that Pokemon like itself and Psyduck could be powerful fighting allies, and that stationing one at Dumbledore's school would allow him to finish off Potter and possibly Dumbledore. And Slowbro had fulfilled his duty. He would be rewarded…With a final, "Slow, Poke" it made its way out the door. No one stopped it.
THE END
I KNOW, I HATE it too…..its so freaking bad…it's the worst thing I've ever written, I HATE it….I DO have others though….if this works I am doing my MWPP one next….Reviews are good…..