"Over and Over"
A/N: An idea that came to me after watching "New Moon". Don't get me wrong, I like Edward and all, but Jacob just seems more fitting. Hope you enjoy.
Of course, they don't belong to me.
He tried to forget her. He really did. He tried to forget her smile, her laughter, her scent, her voice. It was impossible. She haunted his waking dreams.
I feel it everyday,
It's all the same
It brings me down
But I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything
To get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
He sat outside her window at night, perched in the tree, watching her slumber peacefully, at times. How it agonized him when she screamed from her nightmares that never seemed to end. How it killed him to not be able to do anything- to comfort her, to touch her, to speak to her.
Over and over
I fall for you
Over and over
I try not to
He spent his days running, running from himself, from the memories of them together. He kept his mind blank, as to stop the pain, the replays. It never seemed to work. His mind always wandered back to her. Those times they almost kissed… that faint brush of lips…. It was never meant to happen.
It feels like everyday stays the sameIt's dragging me down and I can't pull awaySo here I go againChasing you down againWhy do I do this?
He had to see her. At least once more time. That… other one… had been gone for at least a month again. Who knows where, who cared? All he cared about is Bella was alone.
Over and over, over and overI fall for youOver and over, over and overI try not toOver and over, over and overYou make me fall for youOver and over, over and overYou don't even try
He came to her house, when he knew she would be home alone. Charlie was at work still, and that one was gone. It would be okay, he would be strong, just one more chance to see her. That's all he needed. Honest. The door opened. Bella peered out with a confused expression which bloomed into a wide smile.
So many thoughts that I can't get out of my headI try to live without you, every time I do I feel deadI know what's best for meBut I want you insteadI'll keep on wasting all my time
"Hi, Bella."
Her smile grew. It was heartbreaking, beautiful… it killed him. He loved her so much, but her heart wasn't his. It was already taken. But… he was gone. Did it still remain his?
"Jacob!" She opened the door wider. "Come in! How are you? I haven't seen you in a while."
She was hurting. She was hiding. He could tell. It wasn't hard to see. This pain from the other leaving. He gave a small smile, and followed her inside. "I'm sorry. I just… had to come see you once more."
Over and over, over and overI fall for youOver and over, over and overI try not toOver and over, over and overYou make me fall for youOver and over, over and overYou don't even try to
Bella turned around and frowned at him. "What do you mean, once more?"
"I mean, that I'm not going to come back…"
Her eyes widened, pain showing through. "Where.. Where are you going?"
"…To the pack. I might leave for a bit, to be on my own…"
"But, why?!"
He smiled, a smile full of sadness that it tore at her heart. "Because, I lost the only thing I held precious in my life."
"Jacob…"
He moved closer to her, placing his hands on her hips and leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. "It's okay, Bells. I know your heart belongs to him."
Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, he could smell the salt. "Jacob…"
He winced at the tone she said his name in. "Please… don't say my name like that…"
She glanced up at him, tears silently falling down her face. "Don't leave me… You're my best friend…I need you."
"You have him, Bella. You don't need someone like me, too."
"But…!"
"Could I ask just one favor of you?" He interrupted her.
"Let me guess, take care of myself, don't do anything reckless?" She smiled wryly, tears still sliding down.
"No."
She looked at him, puzzled. "Then.. What?"
"…Kiss me. That's all I ask of you. Please. I promise I'll never bother you again."
Bella gazed up at him, biting her lip. Without intention, the gap was closed between them, his lips hesitantly brushing over hers, asking silent permission.
"…Kiss me, Jacob." She breathed. It was all the encouragement he needed. He pulled her tightly to him and kissed her with a fierce desperation, like a drowning man. Bella's arms came up and wrapped around him, holding him close. She responded to his kiss with as much passion as he.
"Bella…" He whispered as they broke for air. He released her slowly, dying on the inside. She stared at him, her hands keeping him there, because he didn't want her to move them. "Jacob." She bit her lip again. He almost quirked a smile at the cute habit. "Jacob…." She grabbed him and kissed him again suddenly. "Don't leave me. Please. I don't want to loose you, too."
His breathing was a bit heavier. "What do you mean?"
"Edward's gone, Jacob. He's been gone. I told him to go."
"But.."
"Shut up and kiss me."
'Over and over' Jacob mused, 'Over and over, I fall for her yet again.'