Author's Note Second, second version of this story. Much more improved. I like this so much more than the original, anyways. Unauthorized system restore + no backed up files = Very sad day. A lot of things are changed, I switched it up a bit.

Warnings Boy love, betrayal, teen angst, AU, language, prolific use of LMFAO songs (My life.) – If I come up with more along the way, I'll let you know beforehand.

Pairings For your entrée today, we have a large order of Axel/Roxas, with a side of Zexion/Demyx, Riku/Sora, Roxas/Reno, and a medium Axel/Larxene to drink. Enjoy your meal.

Disclaimer I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or any other fandom/songs/quotes, whatever else can be copy wrote. I own a cat named Sora, but that's about it.

v1.0
Never Say Never

When someone loses their mother, emotions break loose. I had never seen a man break down like this before, not like he did. But she was his entire world; she was his oxygen, his sun, his moon, his stars, his entire universe. When we entered the church, and the casket was in plain sight, he became the broken man that I'm looking at now. The never-ending tears just kept flowing and I had no immediate plan on how to help him. He was my best friend and I couldn't comfort him the way that I wanted to. He was knelt down beside the open coffin, his hand gripping the cold flesh of hers inside like a lifeline. He kept screaming apologies.

Sorry I wasn't a better son.
Sorry I couldn't protect you from all of this.
Sorry I never gave you grandchildren at an early age.
Sorry I never told you I loved you every single day.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

He apologized for everything he thinks he did wrong, but she knew better. Even in her death, she's probably watching over him as we speak, yelling at him to stand up and be a man and stop crying over her. That's just how she was. He only knew that she was gone. Her illness had come on so suddenly, it was something that none of us were prepared for – especially Axel. He never let on how much he cared about his mother. We all knew better; we could read him like an open book when it came to her. And in all the years that I've known him, I've never seen him cry. Not until today. He didn't cry when she passed, he didn't cry when everyone else around him cried. Though today, seeing his mother lying lifeless in her casket struck him harder than anything else. Axel finally understood that she's not coming back, that this isn't a joke and she won't be there in the morning to make him waffles just the way he liked them or scold him for saying something perverted to me or his friends.

The day after the service, I was sitting outside his house in his car, his '66 cherry red mustang, my mind going haywire with so many different thoughts while he was inside packing. This is what he needed, to get away from Undine Market and never look back. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it would be in his best interest. Yet, I loved him but I didn't have the courage to tell him. I would always sit off to the side, smiling when he had somebody to love, when he had someone to hold onto at night, even if it wasn't me – Because we were best friends, and I wanted him to be happy – even if it wasn't with me.

Before I had the chance to fully sulk over my depression, he returned with two big suitcases full of his clothes. Once he threw them in the backseat and back behind the wheel, he sped off in silence. No eye contact, no music, nothing. The windows were rolled up so the wind couldn't rid us of this heartbreaking silence.

He parked curbside, close to the loading platform at the train station. I grabbed one of the bags and followed him, my eyes firmly staring at the ground below me. Still, we didn't speak to each other as we approached the actual train itself.

Now is your chance, Roxas! My conscience was cheering, Just fucking do it! So I did.

"Axel?" I looked up, startled to see his emerald eyes already locked onto my own, "I…I…" Well, I tried. It was so damn hard to tell him, especially since he was leaving. How could I…? I closed my eyes tightly, fighting back the tears when I felt cool fingers trace gently along my jaw. My hands dropped the suitcase I was holding and instinctively flew up to curl around his. I leaned into his touch, exhaling sharply to prolong to moment, "Roxas." I heard him murmur as I stepped closer to him.

This wasn't the end, it wasn't over. "Axel," I tried again. I repeated to myself that he was leaving and that this would be easier, because if I get rejected, I don't have to see him tomorrow. He won't be here tomorrow…"Axel, I don't want you to go." He sighed, dropping his bag simultaneously, his hands entangling themselves into his red spikes angrily.

"Why are you doing this to me, Rox?" Axel groaned, his hands moving to his face and rubbing, "You make this so fucking hard." I couldn't stop the tears this time. They started to flow freely down my face as I just stood there, staring at him. He grabbed my shoulders, took another look at me, suddenly pulling me into a tight embrace. Burying his face into my hair, I could tell this affected him just as much. "You're my best friend." He kept repeating, a mantra designed only for them, as if saying this would make all the bad things go away and he could stay.

But we both knew that it wouldn't. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let all my emotions go, sobbing loudly into his chest. There are just so many things I still have to tell him. I figured now would be a good time to do so.

"Axel," I mumbled loudly against his chest, he hummed in acknowledgment, "I…love you." I had never told him this, even as best friends. We hadn't even joked around about it. And because of that, he has to know that I mean it.

Axel nuzzled against the top of my head and I could feel him smile, "Roxas…" He pulled back for a moment and tilted my chin, "I love you." He instantaneously placed his lips upon my own. It was the single most heartbreaking thing I have experienced, yet it only lasted for a moment. He started to move away from me, but I held on tighter.

"Don't let me go." I whined, my eyes looking everywhere but at him. Another sigh, and he hugged me close again, his head tilted back and looking towards the train. Axel rubbed my back absentmindedly. An announcement came over the P.A. system a few minutes later, stating that the train would be leaving and any other passengers need to board immediately.

This was it, this was the last time Axel would ever pull away from me, "I'm sorry, Rox. But this is goodbye." He stated, wiping a stray tear from my face and seizing his bags. He flashed one last sad smile before he stepped onto the train. I stood there, awestruck. Axel…gone? No, it's impossible. The train started chugging again, and I didn't care how cliché this was, but I ran. I ran so fast after it and I could see his horror-stricken face in the window.

I kept screaming for him, hoping someone, anyone, would hear me and stop the train. No such luck. While running, I tripped and fell to my knees that had gotten scraped during the fall. Blood was accumulating at the skin while I just sat there, hands limp at my sides and tears falling.

A worker approached me since I refused to move for almost an hour and helped me up, asking me where I was parked. He walked me to the car, his car. Once inside the vehicle, I drove off back to where it all started, back to his house. I sat in the car, much like I did earlier, and traced a finger along the steering wheel.

"I love you." I repeated, this time to the car. It was the last memoir I had of him, and I'm sure he did that on purpose. I looked in the rear view mirror, seeing an envelope sitting on the seat. What a romantic, I chuckled through the tears as I picked it up, seeing that it was addressed to me. My fingers trembled as I moved to open it up and pull the paper out. The line paper was stained in a few places, making the words almost unreadable. He cried…

Roxas,

I'm so sorry, but we'll meet again. I promise – Never say never.

I love you,
Axel.

All these years, and that letter still sits on my desk, overlooking outside. I look at it every single day, a constant reminder of what I once had and what I want again. Every night, I sit at my window of the house I've lived at ever since I met him, hoping, wishing, that today will be the day he comes home. And he never does.

But I don't cry every night anymore, because the only solid foundation of sanity I have left is here, my dearest childhood friend, the one I ignored for Axel. He moved in when my parents moved out, he knew I was in no state to be left alone. With Sora, it was easier to deal with. He's nothing but smiles and laughter.

Except on September twelfth, then he spends the night in my room, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep like I do every year on that day.

"Roxas?" A soft knock was reverberating through my room, "Are you alright?" I turned my body towards the door, waiting for him to walk in. When he did, I smiled.

"Absolutely." Was it that time of year again already?

Sora was next to me within moments, he caught on that I had forgotten the date. Both of his arms quickly went around my shoulders, pulling me close to his body.

"I'm n-" I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't fake happiness like I knew what the date was. I lost track of time, and yet, in turn, didn't realize how quickly the time had flown. I started crying when his embrace tightened. After all this time, three years later, I was still in love with Axel Rossi and he was nowhere to be found.

Hours passed before I finally calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence, though I had tried many other times before this, "Sora, can you…Can you take me to her?" He knew who I meant.

His mother's grave. I brought bright red roses to her tombstone, a reminder for both her and myself; a reminder to make her son that much more real, because after his disappearance, it's almost like he was just a dream. Sora waited in the Mustang, as I knelt down in front of the grave, placing the bouquet softly on top.

"Hi again, Mrs. Rossi." I wanted to show her the respect that she deserved, even after death, "It's been a whole year since the last time I was here, and I'm sorry. It's just so hard, you know? He still hasn't come back and I haven't gotten any word from him." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down the aching in my heart. "I know I shouldn't be so negative, but I don't know…I don't think he will ever come back. But maybe he has!" I laughed at my hopefulness, "Maybe he has come to visit you and just not m…Who knows, right? Miracles can happen. I'm sure you already know what today is, and I miss you, Mrs. Rossi. I miss you so much. I miss coming over every night for your amazing Chicken Alfredo dinners and having it topped off with your delicious Tiramisu dessert." I smiled at the memory, "You truly were the epitome of a true Italian, Mrs. Rossi and your son was, and I'm sure he still is, very proud of you. He always was. I have to go now, though. Sora's waiting in the Mustang, which we're taking very good care of. I love you, Mrs. Rossi."

I stood, fixing my shirt and wiping away an escaped tear, waving to the grave. I turned, jogging back to where Sora was waiting and jumped in the car.

"Ready to go?" I smiled, which seemed to shock Sora a bit before he composed himself and nodded, driving off to go home.

We arrived shortly and I went straight to my room. Today was still the day and it still upset me. When I moved to lie down in my bed, Sora came with me and repeated what he's been doing for three years. September twelfth, a day nobody will ever forget. Even as I lay here, praying that tomorrow, I'll wake up and Axel will be the one holding me like this, his suitcases wide open and waiting to be unpacked in front of my bed. But I know it won't happen. He left three years ago and hasn't written, hasn't called. I don't even know if he's still alive, yet every single damn day, I think of him.

Every second. Every minute. Every hour.

And the day he left still hurts so bad, the wound is still fresh in my body and my heart aches like it's going to burst from sadness. Sora can feel my body tense up to cope with the pain and holds me tighter.

"It'll be okay, Roxas. I promise." He cooed, kissing the back of my head softly.

Don't let me go.

A/N The Fray – "Never Say Never"; if you listen to it while reading this, it gets emotional. Legit.