So Subaru is Dead (or "I'm [expletive delete] bored")
An attempt at an X/1999 (the movie, not the manga) humor fic by the Kitsune-yasha
Warnings: Character bashing? References?
Notes: If I read more of the manga, this would follow the manga time line, but unfortunately, my recreational funds have been spent on buying the Clover series (also by CLAMP).
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Okay. So Subaru was dead. Well, so was Seishirou for that matter. They had died in combat over the dispute of which was cooler: guys who carve pentagrams into their hands or guys who serve psychotic Sakura trees. In the end, neither of them had won, but they did prove the point that guys-who-mutilate-their-own-bodies-by-carving-pentagrams-into-their-skin battling guys-who-serve-a-very-possessive-Sakura-tree was pretty cool to watch. Unfortunately, that was NOT the point they had been trying to prove in the first place, and their only witness to this point was a sixteen-year old boy with more angst than the entire cast of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Well, a blonde hydro-maniac was there, too, but the point was lost on him because (1) he was blonde and (2) he had seen more death than a certain psychotic self-proclaimed Shinigami who coincidentally piloted the cause of a good portion of the death he had seen.
Authoress' pause: So why am I writing this? (1) I'm bored, (2) I've been reading WAY too much Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and (3) arguably, I am insane. There really is no point in this except to point out the humor in Subaru-kun's and Sei-chan's deaths. I should write what I'm supposed to be writing about in Creative Writing class, but I don't feel like doing it. Besides, there is no point to do it now. I won't be at school for the rest of the week. I have an art field trip then a retreat to go on.
Um…I should stop rambling…
Of course Subaru's and Seishirou's deaths could in no way compare to Kotori's (who proved that women CAN give birth to sharp, pointed objects bigger than their own bodies) or Yuzariha's death, which was a big tearjerker. If you really want to compare deaths, though, then the two above mentioned girls' deaths were in no way comparable to Sorata's death, which proved that a slap-happy Kansai priest could die for a beautiful lady that he loved (Keep in mind, Sorata also proved that a priest cold be Kansai, which is pretty laughable if you know anything about Kansai). Sorata's death is only rivaled by Arashi's death, which proved to the surviving cast and to the audience that she wasn't an emotionless bitch. Then again, Sorata DID die for Arashi. Anybody would be choked up with tears if a psychotically happy Kansai priest (emphasis on "Kansai") died for them.
The point of this story wasn't to talk about comparable deaths in X/1999, though (Oh…wait…I just did…). The point was to talk about Subaru's and Seishirou's deaths.
Anyhow.
Subaru and Seishirou were dead. Kamui (who was the only witness to this awesome battle who got the point the two ex-lovers had made unintentionally) had only one thing to say.
"Far out!"
And with that, he walked away.