Straight up angst. It was painful to write. I can only assume it will be painful to read.
"Aw, the battery died." Greg pulled the camera off the tripod and fiddled with it uselessly. "Bummer. I didn't get the chance to impart all of my fatherly wisdom."
"You'll have plenty of time for that later," Rose assured him.
"Yeah, well, I have to get some first. When is that supposed to happen?" He laughed anxiously. Rose laughed, too. Surely there had never been anyone else more prepared for parenthood and less certain of that fact.
Greg folded up the camera and replaced it in its case. "Did you get everything you wanted to on here?"
Rose nodded. She hauled herself up to sit in the open back of the van, cradling her protruding belly. Greg shoved the camera case back behind one of the seats and then rested his hands over hers.
"Hi baby," he said softly. The gem thrummed with warmth and color in response. Greg flushed with excitement. "Oh my gosh. Did I- did he just…."
Rose smiled, turning her hands to knit her fingers through Greg's. "I think he knows your voice."
"Oh, wow. Hi there, Steven." A grin spread across his face. "Did you like the music today, buddy? 'Cause I can tell you, there's a lot more where that came from!"
The gem pulsed again, and this time Rose tensed up, her grip on Greg's hands tightening for a moment. Greg rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, concern flickering in his eyes.
"Did that hurt?"
She shook her head unconvincingly as the light winked out again. "Not really. I'm just a little bit worn out."
Her pregnancy had been easy. They'd both watched Vidalia suffer a few years before- morning sickness, aches and pains, swollen feet- but Greg had been pleasantly surprised to find that the worst Rose had experienced was a few pangs of hunger and thirst and a slight aversion to the scent of coffee. But a long latent anxiety stirred in his stomach at the drawn expression on her face.
"Is that… well, I guess we don't really have a standard for what's normal, do we?" Greg laughed uneasily. "I'm just kinda worried about you. It seems like it might not be normal for you to be so worn out. Is it because Steven's doing the gem thing?"
Rose nodded. "He's waking up," she whispered. "He can't wait to see you."
"Aw, tell him I can't wait to see him, too. Or did he just hear me say it?" Greg chuckled.
"I think he heard you say it."
The sun had finally begun its descent after hanging motionless above them all afternoon. It draped the shadow of the temple across the beach. The lazy day was drawing to a close, as all lazy days eventually did. A fresh breath of wind rose from the sea, and Rose closed her eyes as it washed over her. Time had come unpaused again.
"Here's the thing, Greg."
"Right. The thing," he repeated seriously.
"Steven is connected to my gem now. It's giving him strength. In fact, it's just as much a part of him as it is a part of me."
"It is?" Greg blinked, his gaze wandering back down to her gem. "How's… how's that gonna work, then?"
"Greg."
He met her eyes and then swallowed hard, perching on the open edge of the van beside her. "Tell me what you're thinking, babe. If there's some kind of- of complication…"
"No, we'll both be all right," Rose said hurriedly. It wasn't a lie, not exactly. "Garnet assured me that my gem won't be harmed when I give birth, so neither one of us will be hurt. The gem will transfer safely to him."
"Transfer?" Greg's fingers tapped the edge of the van. "So he'll have it, then?"
"Yes. But when that happens, I won't be able to have a physical form here… with you."
Greg drummed faster. "I… I don't think I totally understand… all of that…" But his voice trembled, so he obviously understood enough. "You'll be gone?"
"I'll be in the gem. But the gem will be part of Steven. He'll take my place here."
Greg squeezed his hand into a fist, then pressed it against his lips. "That sounds an awful lot like y-you'll be gone," he repeated, the words faint. "Did you know?"
She glanced out over the water. "I suspected."
"I- I had no idea." The rest of him had started to shake. "I n-never would have asked you to do this, Rose."
"I know." Why else would she have waited so long to tell him? "Greg, I want to do this. I can't wait for you to meet him."
She grabbed his hand and guided it back to her stomach. But the 'can't wait' from earlier that evening had died in his throat. Oh no, he needed months, he needed years. He needed an eternity.
"So will you… will you still be able to meet Steven?"
Rose didn't answer.
Greg nodded numbly. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against her stomach, exhaling slowly. A warm light kindled like an ember in her gem.
"No, baby, please don't do this," he murmured. The light only swelled at the sound of his voice. Rose felt hot tears drip onto her exposed skin. "Steven, Mommy needs that."
"It's all right," she said softly. Greg drew his hands away from her baby bump and folded his arms across his knees. His first sob broke like the waves in front of them, ebbing only to be washed over by a stronger one.
She wrapped her arms around him as the tide came in.