Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was stirring*
Not even a tumor
Riffles and bottles were laid across the ground with little care(edited)
In hopes someone would slip a shoot themselves
The raiders were nestled all snug in their camps
With visions of traps dancing in their dreams
And the mayor all cuddled up with their alcohol, and the sheriff stuck in their office
When out in the town there arose a clatter
The Militia sprang from their hidey holes
Away with their RPGs in a flash
Tearing open their doors with hostile intent(edited)
when they arrived they were surprised to find a miniature slay and eight miniature reindeer all covered in blood
With a little old driver, so dead and rotten
In that moment they knew it was Saint Nick
More Rapid than eagles they aimed and fired
And with glee they yelled "Fuck off ya cunt!"
All that remain was scorched ground with burnt remains
As they left a RC drove by and saw the flames of old St Nick
"Oh What the Fuck" they said as they realized what had happened
"Santa came true with my wish, for he gave me the sight of his timely death!"
With that the RC left and the years the come were filled with sadness
As parents were forced to listen to their little brats cry on and on
And as they suffered they yelled and yelled
"I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS NOW, NOW FUCK OFF"