"I'm scared," Noah admitted nervously as he laid back in the hospital bed while the nurse prepared his IV. Dr. Oliver was standing nearby, holding a clipboard of paperwork that he was taking one final look at before he prepared for surgery.
"I'd be worried about cracking you open if you weren't," Reid said plainly, pursing his lips tightly and never looking at his patient, though of course Noah didn't know that. The room was silent again save the sound of machines beeping and the faint noise of footsteps on the other side of the door. It was already bad enough that Noah couldn't see anything, a serious problem that would hopefully have changed by the end of the day, but the added silence made him feel more isolated than ever. His fist was clenched at his side and he would have clenched the other if the nurse hadn't told him to relax so she could put in the needle. He barely flinched, closing his unseeing eyes and turning his head away, wishing he knew first hand if it was at least a sunny day or not.
A small tap on the glass window of the room broke the silence. Noah turned his face toward the sound though he was tuning his ears mostly. He heard the clipboard land gently on the table and Reid uttered a rushed, "One minute," before slipping out the door. Silence again, though it wasn't quite as lonesome. Reid had left the door cracked in his hurry to step out, and while his rush worried Noah, being able to hear his voice just outside, added to the fact that nurse was still moving about the room at an easy pace, put him at ease, too.
"You can go in in a few minutes, I just need to talk to him about a few more things," Noah heard Reid say casually and he found himself trying to picture the doctor's unknown face again. It was something he did whenever he could hear Dr. Oliver's voice to help ease his mind, sometimes imagining an obscure mustache or bug eyes for the simple sake of laughter and calming himself down. Today, though, he had an honest, though more than likely incorrect image in his head. He also remembered Luke's face almost perfectly, picturing them standing side by side. A few of the lines of his face were blurred and he couldn't quite make out the fine shading of his hair and his eyes, but the image was clear enough to bring him comfort.
He wondered who Reid was talking to but found an answer in the unhappy sigh he recognized all to well to be that of the blond he had just been picturing.
"Reid, I get it, but please, I'm going to go crazy just sitting out here." The impatience was classic Luke and it made Noah smile a little. He brushed off that Luke had called Dr. Oliver by his first name, something he had passed off as a civil advancement after hearing it the first time over the phone the day before. He could picture Luke standing there, arms crossed, or maybe his hands were in his pockets. Noah wondered what Luke's hair looked like; had it grown longer in the past few weeks, had he cut it? Styled it differently? He focused on this details, trying to keep a vivid memory of every look he'd ever seen on Luke, just in case memories were all he was left with.
"I know, I get that, and I'm almost done. I just want him to be prepared before you go in there. You're optimistic, and as flattering as that is, I still don't want you to go in there singing about rainbows and getting his hopes too high. I need Noah to be realistic, even pessimistic, just in case."
Noah let the words sink in. It hit him like cold water, startling and yet refreshing. Noah had been giving Luke the sake speech for weeks, insisting that he had to learn to deal with his blindness in case it turned out to be a permanent thing. For as much of a prick as Dr. Oliver could be, he was grateful to have someone honest working on him, someone who wasn't trying to get his hopes up to the point that if things failed he wouldn't be able to cope. Dr. Oliver's cockiness also reassured Noah, actually. Knowing that Dr. Oliver was so invested in another success story gave Noah hope that he would do literally everything possible to make sure this operation went off without a hitch.
"I know, I know. And I'm not going to be singing anything, I just want to support him, you know, encourage him to stay strong. The waiting is killing me, I can't imagine what it's like for Noah," Luke went on and Noah again found himself smiling. As much as Noah had pushed him away, Luke was still fighting to be at his side through this. If there was one thing Noah loved most about Luke, it was his passion, and that passion was never in short supply. He'd been horrible to him the past few months, he could admit to that, had admitted to that, and yet Luke was still here, refusing to move aside. Noah knew that no matter what happened, he wasn't alone.
"The sooner you let me get back in there, the sooner I can talk to him and get out of your way. It's called patience, Luke, something you've taught me plenty about this week. I'm just asking you practice some yourself," Reid went on. It took Noah a minute to process his words, turning his face toward the door suddenly at the sound of Luke's name. He replayed the words, wondering if he had been mistake, for a 'Mr. Snyder' certainly would have fit in there just fine.
There was a pause before Luke spoke again. "Alright. But I'm waiting right here and the minute you come out I'm going in," Luke insisted and Noah could again picture his movements. He had probably scratched his ear during that moment of hesitation and was now pointing at the door, staring at Dr. Oliver with intense eyes that were visual proof that he wasn't kidding. He heard a soft, strange laughter from Dr. Oliver.
"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," he said. The door creaked before bolting shut again and Noah knew Dr. Oliver was back in the room.
"So you're both calling each other by your first names now?" Noah asked slowly, confusion dripping from his words. Reid had already scooped the clipboard into his hands and glanced up at Noah over the papers, his lips forming a thin line again. He knew it was a good thing that Noah couldn't see his face, for right now he wasn't sure if he could hide his thoughts too well.
"Yeah, well, what can I say, I wouldn't be doing this today if it wasn't for your boyfriend," Reid said in his usual snarky voice, though there was a tension that Noah couldn't help but pick up on, especially as Dr. Oliver got to the word 'boyfriend'. There was the same bitterness that had been there when he had first come to town and hadn't hesitated to show his dislike of Luke. Noah scrunched his sightless eyes, mouth twisting unsurely.
"He's not my boyfriend anymore," he said suddenly, unsure if Dr. Oliver had been informed of the situation by Luke. "Still, you guys couldn't stand each other. I mean, I guess you have been lightening up a bit. You were joking together last week, were able to go to Dallas and come back without killing each other. Still, it's kind of weird," Noah said with a nervous laugh. Reid's lips pressed tighter together.
"As much as I would love to sit and chat about names and formalities, we have more pressing things to talk about, Noah," Reid said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, decidedly changing the subject. It was much easier to act normal when he was talking medicine than it was to discuss the third corner of the triangle knew he had grown to be a part of.
They talked for only about six or seven minutes. Most of the conversation was Dr. Oliver quite bluntly reminding Noah was exactly he was doing and also reminding him of the odds that the procedure would work, "but of course those odds are higher since you have me," and Noah reassuring Dr. Oliver that he wasn't clinging to some fantasy outcome. A few awkward but appreciated laughs were exchanged and Dr. Oliver stood from the bed. Noah was being brave, and Reid knew it. He could see the fear and anguish on the young man's face and as strange as it was for him to admit, he wished he could do more to ease him. Well, there was one thing he could do, one thing he would have to do unless he wanted the blond out front to tear him apart in a not-so-nice way, though this one thing was far from Reid's personal pick; he would have to let Luke see Noah, as promised. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Reid refused to look back at Noah, afraid of what that last glance would do when he knew he would be confronted with the image of Luke in just moment. He pulled open the door, and sure enough, Luke was standing there with wide, impatient eyes, arms crossed and staring him in the face as if looking for all the answers. Reid frowned.
"Go on in, just don't take too long," Reid said, and even Noah from inside the room could hear the weariness in his voice. Luke smiled apologetically, reaching out and putting a hand on Reid's arm, but of course Noah couldn't see this exchange, either. He only heard the silence that passed between them before Luke's shoes finally tapped against the tile floor. The door closed and a friendly, "Hey, Noah," lingered, forcing him to smile. Luke moved immediately to his side, sitting on the bed and taking Noah's hands. Reid, against his better judgment, watched through the blinds from the hallway, stricken by a sense of pathetic déjà vu. His frown pulled his lips even lower and he looked away, closing his eyes and regulating his breathing again. He knew he would be able to clear his mind for the surgery, he'd never let personal feelings or obligations get in his way before, but something told him as he started walking toward the OR that it would take him a bit longer to compose himself than he knew it should.