Smooch, smooch, slurp, mwah, smooch, mwah, mwah, mwah.

"Kissing you is so much fun," that Asian girl Kira said. "I like how your mouth tastes." Kira started to rub Scott McCall's hair after the author honestly had to look up Scott's name on the internet because he couldn't remember it.

"Thanks, Chief!" Scott replied. Suddenly, Scott got real nervous. "Can I, umm, touch your, umm… you know… umm… your…"

"My what?" Kira asked, innocently. She rubbed her whole hand over Scott's face. She stuck her thumb deep into Scott's mouth and poked her finger into his nose. "Do you like that?" she asked doing her best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, which was pretty piss poor terrible.

"Umm, sure," Scott said, spitting her thumb out of his mouth. "But I just wanted to know if it would be okay if I touched your… umm… you know… your… your… fun muffins, your flesh bulbs, your hoohas, your angel cakes, your pointer sisters, your duel air-bags, your love humps, your bazongas, your Beacon Hills… you know… your boobies, hee hee, boobies."

"Oh, umm, I'm not sure," Kira replied, not being sure. "I'm not sure that would be appropriate. I mean, we're still in high school. It's not like I'm actually 28 or something. I'm not ready to go to second base, yet."

"Okay," Scott said, disappointed. "Should I take my hand out of your pants?"

"No, you're cool," Kira replied with her stupid high school mentality. "And don't think I've forgotten about you…" Kira slowly drew her hand down Scott's face to his neck. She choked him a little until Scott was erotically charged. She ran her hand down to Scott's shirt. She stuck her hand down the neck hole and felt his werewolf chest hair.

"You're stretching my shirt," Scott said erotically. "Please stop, I like this shirt," Scott said erotically. "Also, I'm not sure if I like this shirt and I might want to return it," Scott said erotically.

Kira violently and erotically grabbed a handful of Scott's werewolf chest hair and pulled it hard. Scott screamed like a pussy. Kira slapped him across the face. "You like that, bitch!?" Kira screamed. "You like that!?" Then Kira started punching him in the crotch. "Does this turn you on? Does it? You're a freak, Scott McCall! This is some weird shit you're into!"

"What are you talking about!? Why are you doing this? I don't like this at all! Stop now or I'll summon an Oni to come get you!" Scott said, erotically. This hurt so much he pooped a little.

Kira pulled away and threw herself across the room. She began to cry tears of moonlit sorrow. Had one been watching, one could see all the color drain from her body. She was now black and white.

"Babe, babe, babe," Scott said erotically. "Babe, it's alright, babe. Don't worry about it. You scarred me for life and marred my interest of sex forever, but it's no big deal."

"Are you sure?" Kira asked, losing interest in this conversation rapidly.

"Arooo," Scott howled erotically. "Arooo, arooo, arooo. Arooo?" Oh, no! Scott was turning into a teen wolf! This always happened when he was erotically charged. Maybe Kira didn't mar his interest of sex forever. Scott thought about telling Kira that to make her feel better, but then he forgot.

"Oh, no!" Kira screamed. "You've turned into a teen wolf! Is this because of my Asian sensuality? How will I ever turn you back to a normal teenage boy who I can make out with again?"

Scott knew there was only one way to turn back into a normal boy and that way was never shown on TV because TV is fake and this was real life. Kira had to go… down south. Scott looked deep into Kira's unknown-colored eyes with his deep, alpha-red eyes. He made the universal signal. Kira knew what she needed to do. It was go time. Suddenly, she was really glad she had all that pineapple juice earlier today. Kira began as Scott looked to the heavens and closed his eyes. He put his hands on the back of Kira's head as she did her business to his business. His whole body was tingling. A feeling he had not felt in forever overcame him. He struggled to hold in what his body instinctively wanted to do. No, not here… not now… He bit his bottom lip. Kira was so good at this. He just couldn't hold it in anymore. It was going to happen… It was coming… He had to give in to his primal impulses. Suddenly, Scott burst. Kira looked up and wiped her mouth.

Scott had burst out laughing as Kira finished tickling his feet. The feeling took over his body and he turned back into a teen boy. Kira wiped her mouth again as she was giggling and she drooled a little from the laughter. How embarrassing! She sure hoped Scott didn't see that. Scott did see but he didn't tell her because their relationship wasn't built on trust. Scott was just glad he didn't lose control and rip her to shreds! Because then he would never be able to touch her boobies, hee hee, boobies.

All of a sudden, Styles burst in! "Hey, guys," he said. "Can I join in?"

"Oh, Styles," Scott, Kira, Derek, Lydia, Jackson, Scott, Malia, Zombie Allison, Scott, Scott's Mom, Sheriff Stilinski, Agent Rafael McCall, Chris Argent, Mr. Yukimura, Scott, Mrs. Yukimura, Melissa McCall, Scott, the Twins, Peter, Isaac, Alan, the Kitsune, Scott, Kira, Derek, Lydia, and Stiles all said at the same time. It was at that moment Scott and Kira both realized something.

"Were all of you here this whole time?" Scott said erotically.

"Yes, we were," replied Mr. Yukimura. "Now will you please take your hand out of my daughter's pants?"

"Dad!" Kira yelled! "Let him finish!"

Scott finished and then gave Kira the greatest high five the world had ever seen.