Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and I'm certainly not making any money off of this. In actuality, the characters, setting, ships, etc, belong to Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: R to light NC-17

I crept into his bedroom on silent feet, wondering what exactly I would see. Would they be in the throes of passion? Moaning their pleasure, encouragement and their need? Would they be in the aftermath of their lovemaking, softly whispering words of sex and love to each other? The bedroom door slid open nearly without a sound and then I saw them.

They were naked, the sheet rumbled and tossed to the floor in a large heap. Chakotay was spooned around her, his thigh over hers, his hand on her beautiful, pert breasts, her round bottom pressing against his thick erection as they slept. His skin was dark and dusky compared to Kathryn's ivory tone. Chakotay's face was buried in her auburn hair, and Kathryn had a slight smile, obviously satisfied. I sighed quietly and leaned against the doorframe of Chakotay's bedroom.

At different times of my life, I had wanted them both. When I was six and she was eleven, both our families would gather for certain holidays and weekends. Kathryn would run from me as I chased her, threatening to kiss her. After only a few minutes of cat and mouse, she would climb into her favorite tree and stick her tongue out at me in victory. I would smile wolfishly, walk away and calculate my next chance.

I knew her as we both grew from children to teens, up until she joined Starfleet Academy; our fathers were good friends and worked together often. As Kathryn matured, she seemed to become even more beautiful, with her fiery red hair, deep blue eyes, creamy white skin and her dotting of freckles. But, I was still the annoying little twerp that followed Kathryn and her friends around, played pranks on both the Janeway sisters and spied on Kathryn as a boy kissed her in the backyard of her grandfather's house when they were thirteen.

I have used my body before, sold it off to get what I needed. Things have happened that I would rather-and dare- not repeat. I came to Chakotay shortly after joining his crew and I stopped by his cabin. He still wore his leather pants that accent much more than his new Starfleet uniform and a cream colored shirt, the top two buttons undone. Chakotay looked at me and frowned slightly in that moment, my visit unexpected.

I propositioned him. Sure, I wanted to stay on the ship, and yes, I wanted to be its best pilot, but most importantly, I wanted him. I wanted him in my bed; I wanted to be in his bed. Not only have the ladies been charmed by his dimples, golden skin and mysterious personality, I was also caught; hook, line and sinker.

Chakotay was an attractive man, I can certainly admit that. He was well built, big and broad, powerful muscles under his honey skin. His face was a study; strong cheekbones, full lips, and obsidian eyes I could stare into until he kicked my ass.

I can still remember how his dark eyes had widened once he caught up with my implied, sexual meaning. Chakotay swallowed forcefully and tugged at his earlobe, ducking his head.

"Uh, I'm…flattered, really, but you see…" he had reached up and tugged at his ear again, still avoiding my gaze. "But I'm not… into that …"

"You're straight." I replied in monotone, impassively, strangely enough, considering how my emotions were running away with me. I was embarrassed, angry at myself, and of course disappointed. Bisexual Tom Paris never gets it right.

Quickly, I fled back to my lonely quarters and slipped into bed, the stars as my only companion.