"This place barely looks any different."
Matt's voice echoed through the empty lodge, the freezing specks of dust and ice floating in the stagnant air. He glanced around the large living space, the anxiety in his eyes betraying the calm tone in his voice. Josh, knelt in front of the fireplace, didn't look up as he responded. "Yeah, nobody's been up here."
Ashley followed Sam and Matt into the room, breath billowing out in small clouds. She exchanged a glance with Sam before asking curiously, "Even with all the police coming in and out?"
Footsteps followed her words as Chris walked into the room last, one hand holding the strap to the backpack hanging off his shoulder. He turned his head to the side and let his eyes fall on Josh, who was dragging logs into the dusty fireplace. As he spoke, Josh looked his way and the two locked eyes for a moment. "Not a lot of action up here lately." Chris explained, a sheepish smile playing on his lips as he exchanged a glance with Josh.
With a mischievous smile, Josh winked at Chris - so quickly that no one else noticed it - and replied, "Nope."
It was just a small white lie, really. It actually held a little bit of truth. Chris hadn't been totally lying when he said there hadn't been a lot of action at the lodge. In fact, in the year since the group had been at the lodge, there had been quite a bit of action, if not 'a lot'.
It started in the months following the disappearance of Hannah and Beth. Once the police ended their search, the lodge had been mostly abandoned. Bob and Melinda Washington, their parents, were too grief-stricken to visit the lodge where their beloved daughters went missing.
However, Josh found the lodge to be his only solace. He found himself drawn back to the home that had once offered so much joy and adventure to his family, which was now drowned in shadow and loss. The first time he'd gone to the lodge alone, he thought it would have been too much to bear. Seeing the empty rooms of his sisters and their discarded belongings around the home made his grief worse. Seeing the traces from their lives, like leftover fingerprints, broke his heart even more.
So he asked Chris to join him. After a night of laying awake in the empty lodge, Josh found that he needed the comforting presence of his best friend. Chris had arrived faster than Josh thought possible, and he allowed himself to be drawn into Chris's arms and comforted by his words.
Grief was a lot easier to bear when he had the comfort of someone he loved.
They went on like that for a few months. Meeting up at the lodge and spending as much time as possible together. At first, they would just share stories from their childhood, sometimes about Hannah and Beth, and watch films and stuff themselves with food. Josh wasn't sure what exactly had sparked the transition from friendly comfort to a more intimate direction.
They never formally spoke of it, which Josh was pleased for. He'd never been good at talking about his feelings, and it was much easier to just let things happen, without having to think too much about them. It started with casual touches that lingered longer than they should have. Josh would notice how Chris would pat him on the shoulder, and let his hand stay there for several moments. He used to put his hand on Josh's knee when he spoke, but slowly began inching his way to Josh's thigh. The older boy didn't mind, and found himself lingering as well. He'd maintain eye contact longer than usual, and would lean on Chris whenever they were watching a movie or sitting together.
He wasn't particularly shocked the first time Chris kissed him. It had been a long time coming, and Josh found himself expecting it more and more. However, he was still startled the first time their lips connected. Josh had been in the middle of telling a story when Chris had leaned over and kissed him without a word. When they finally pulled apart, it was like nothing had changed. They were still best friends, and Josh continued his story as if nothing had happened. But they both knew, and they both had smiles on their faces afterwards.
They started meeting up regularly, and their exchanges gradually ended up more intimate. They would spend their days how they always did - playing video games, watching movies, and even going for walks in the woodland close to the lodge. However, when evening came, they would always end up in Josh's old bedroom in the upper floor of the lodge. Josh always ended up on his back, arms pinned above his head with Chris kissing him gently. The blonde would gravitate from Josh's lips to his neck, where he pressed deep kisses into his dark skin. It was in these moments that Josh was glad the lodge had been abandoned, as he could be as loud as he wanted.
Josh was sure that Chris would tease him in these moments, to see just how loud the older boy could get. Even though they'd grown from an innocent friendship to the intimacy of lovers, Chris would still deliberately tease Josh, just as he had their entire lives - whether it be with a harmless joke or ceasing his movement just before Josh was pushed over the edge. It was infuriating, but Josh loved it.
However, it wasn't just the sex that Josh loved about these moments they spent together. Sure, he found himself yearning for the closeness of Chris in the moments they were apart, and felt the breath catch in his throat every time Chris took his hand and lead him up the stairs. But he relished in the times when they were just together. He loved the moments when he could stare into Chris's eyes and see all the emotions that swam in their depths.
There was an evening in particular that Josh relived in his head for weeks afterward. The first snows of the winter had begun to fall, and the air inside of the lodge was freezing. Since Josh's father had turned off the electricity after months of the lodge being "abandoned", the heater was gone too. After lighting every fire place in the house, Chris and Josh had retreated upstairs, where it was warmest, and curled up under the covers in Josh's bed.
Josh rested his head on the padded mattress, warm now from his touch. He lay on his side, with his legs curled up and shivering slightly. Across from him, Chris lay on his side as well, facing Josh with a soft smile on his face. The older boy reached over and intertwined his fingers with Chris's, feeling the cold skin slowly begin to warm from the shared body heat.
Josh couldn't help but get lost in Chris's eyes. He'd always thought they were mesmerizing - and quite hypnotic - and was always surprised at how he could stare into their shining depths until he felt as though he could see into Chris's soul. The blonde smiled as he noticed Josh staring, and squeezed the hand that he was holding, the corners of his mouth twitching as Josh grunted in response. Breath billowing out in clouds that hovered idly between them, Chris leaned across and pressed their lips together. He watched as Josh's eyes fluttered closed and his hand seemed to go limp in his grasp. It was moments like these that Josh would simply melt under Chris's touch.
In the dim light from the fire that crackled under the mantle, Chris watched as the shadows flickered across Josh's face. The older boy's cheeks were flushed pink against the cold, and the tip of his nose had turned red. He broke away from the kiss, but kept his forehead pressed against Josh's, and tugged on his hand to pull his body closer.
"I love you." He whispered, his breath stirring the air above Josh's lips. He watched as Josh smiled in response, his eyes squinting as it met his cheeks. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Chris narrowed his eyes mischievously. The blonde quickly rolled over and pushed himself up until he ended up hovering over Josh with his knees pressed against the mattress on either side of his friend.
Sitting up, Chris slowly pulled his shirt off and let it slip off the side of the bed and onto the wooden floor. He watched as Josh's cheeks flushed even more, and the boy under him pulled himself backwards until he was sitting up as well, with Chris sitting on his lap. Josh pulled off his own shirt and tossed it to the side, a subtle growl coming from his throat as he leaned forward and kissed the blonde.
Chris placed both hands on Josh's chest, and let them slide slowly down his torso as he deepened the kiss. His fingertips skimmed the soft skin of Josh's stomach, and let them linger on his hips. He could feel the old scars that indented the skin just above Josh's waistline, and let his thumb rest against them gently. Josh grunted under the touch but didn't break the kiss, and Chris kept moving his hands until they reached the belt loops on the older boy's jeans. He slowly pulled them from Josh's body, revealing the dark skin that were flushed red against the cold. Once the waist of the jeans reached his mid-thigh, Josh broke from the kiss and pulled them the rest of the way off, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared at Chris with eyes that grew dark with lust.
Josh leaned forward until their noses touched, never breaking eye contact, and slipped his thumbs into the belt loops on the blonde's own jeans. He gently pulled the jeans away from Chris's hips, and grinned as the blonde raised himself onto his knees to pull the jeans further down, until he removed them completely. With his knees still on either side of Josh's hips, Chris placed a hand on the other's bare chest, and gently pushed him down until he was laying on his back against the ruffled sheets.
Leaning down, Chris cupped the other boy's face in his hands, and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Releasing his face, the blonde slowly began to place kisses on Josh's jawline, then his neck. He finally stopped at a dip in the skin where the boy's neck met his shoulder, and Chris heard Josh tense under him and let out a soft moan as the blonde kissed the soft skin. Smiling at the sound that came from Josh's mouth, Chris sat up and reached for the waistband on his own underwear - a pair of dark gray boxer briefs. He slid them off quickly, noticing how Josh's eyes glinted at the action, before reaching for the other boy's. Josh's black underwear was pulled taut against his skin, and Chris noticed subtle marks in the skin where the waistband had dug into it as he pulled them off.
Josh reached for the back of Chris's neck, and pulled the blonde closer until their lips touched. It was several moments before they pulled apart again, and Chris found himself gasping softly as he reached for Josh's thigh. His cold fingers made Josh tense under his touch, and Chris heard him let out a quiet moan as the blonde pulled his thigh up until Josh's knee touched his chest. Rubbing circles into the skin with his thumb, Chris used the other hand to grasp the other boy's shoulder.
Josh tiled his head back against the sheets, his eyes squeezed shut and now loud moans escaping his lips. He felt Chris's grip on his shoulder tighten, until the skin below turned white, and the blonde leaned forward to kiss the skin on Josh's jaw. Eyes half-lidded, Josh watched as his vision blurred and stars clouded his mind, aware only of Chris's lips on his skin and the feeling of intimacy between them. Chris's hands let go of his thigh and shoulder to grip Josh's hips, pushing him deeper into the sheets.
Chris lifted his head, eyes searching Josh's face in the dim light from the fire. He watched as the muscles along Josh's jaw tensed, his teeth grinding together. Fists clutching the sheets on either side of him, Josh let out a deep moan, the light flickering across his face.
The moaning gradually turned to silence as the stars vanished from Josh's mind and his vision began to clear. Chris fell to the side, his chest pressing against Josh's shoulder. They lay side by side in the bed for several moments, catching their breath before Josh finally broke the silence. "I love you too."
Chris rolled his eyes, a chuckle coming between his heavy breathing. He reached for Josh's hand, which was draped across his stomach as if he was too exhausted to move, and intertwined their fingers once more.
"I didn't know you could be so gentle." Josh whispered, his eyes half lidded in the dim light as he turned his head to look at Chris. The blonde had his eyes shut, as if he was beginning to nod off, but at Josh's words he opened them once more. His blue eyes seemed to glow in the light from the fire as he replied, "I wanted it to be more than just sex. I wanted you to know that I really love you."
Josh smiled, his eyes squinting as he gazed at Chris. "I think you've proved that by now." He watched as Chris closed his eyes again and his breathing slowed as he drifted into sleep. Josh stared at the boy he loved in the flickering light of the fire before he closed his eyes as well and let sleep overwhelm him, finally warm in spite of the freezing air.