(Post-kiss)
Mon-El woke up from a terrible dream Well, it wasn't terrible, it was great actually. He dreamt of being on Daxam. He happy to be with the friends he knew he wouldn't ever be able to see again. He never wanted to leave it until his eyes opened immediately as he heard a creak coming from the door of the room he slept in at the DEO. His body sat up, unable to control himself, and his heart rate was fast. He looked to the door to see Kara awkwardly standing there with her regular clothes on.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. I leave now-" Kara said, ready to leave him, but Mon-El stopped her.
"No, no, no." He said, sleepily. He rubbed his eyes, then stretched. Kara stared awkwardly, standing still. "I'm assuming you came to talk to me, so you can come closer to speak or stay there."
Kara nodded, muttering, "Right, sorry," walking to the cot he was in. "So, I wanted to say that I've seen how distant you've been."
Mon-El sighed, not expecting to what she said. "Kara-"
"Please, let me finish." she looked down. He gestured her to continue; "You've been distant, but not just towards me, but to everyone else. And I just wanted to know if me and or anyone else to did anything at all to offend you. Because if I have, then I am very sorry."
Her guilt overwhelmed her throughout the week when she noticed him being distant towards her and everyone else. Sometimes, she would try to talk to him, but he would be gone, nowhere to be seen.
Mon-El shook his head, seeing how nervous, but concerned she was.
"You didn't do anything wrong. None of you did. I just-uh… I haven't been feeling great, lately." He scratched the back of his neck, shifting his eyes away from her gaze.
"Then what's wrong?" she asked. He didn't answer. She pursed her lips, slowly understanding that whatever was wrong with him was a personal issue. "Okay, well, I hope whatever's wrong will be resolved soon."
She smiled off how upset she was that he didn't want to tell her, but she knew that it wasn't any of her business. She stood to leave him, but he decided to speak. He didn't want her to leave.
"I miss Daxam." he said, weakly. Kara looked down at him. He looked upset and tired, but not because he just woke up. He looked like that for the same amount of time he was avoiding everyone. "I've missed Daxam since I got here, but recently I'd been thinking a lot about home-how it's gone, and how I can never go back. After everyone and I thought I was gonna die, I was actually relieved."
Kara sat down, looking at him the same way her adoptive mother, Eliza, would look at her when she first arrived to Earth. She saw the red bags under his bloodshot eyes being this close to him. His cheeks had the marks of dry tears, and his eyes were more gray than blue.
"I was happy that after all the times I've dodged death, finally dying meant that I was going to see the people I love again. And now that I'm here, alive and apparently healthy, I'm angry." He said. "I'm angry that I was the one that got to escape when they were way more good people there in Daxam who deserved to live. But then sometimes, I also want to live, and I feel guilty for being alive."
"You shouldn't feel guilty for being alive." Kara told him.
"But I am!" He rose he voice. Kara jumped a little. He saw that and muttered an apology.
"Mon-El, you're homesick. I get that, because I felt the same way when I came here to Earth. I also felt sad that I never got to be Superman's mentor, and I thought that I failed an important mission that was given to me when I was only a child. But look at him now. He's a hero." She explained to him.
He scoffed. "You and Superman were sent here, because your family knew you were important and worth living, and knew you two were going to protect Earth."
"And you were sent here by the prince of Daxam, because he thought you were worth living." She retorted.
Mon-El looked at her, even more guilty about how he had been lying to her and everyone else about why he was here in Daxam.
"You don't understand-"
"Then make me, Mon-El!" she chuckled without humor. "Make me understand the way you're feeling!"
He shook his head, refusing to believe that anything he could explain to her would make her understand. If he told her the truth that he was scared and selfish enough to steal a Kryptonian pod to escape a planet, she'd never want to help him or be around him. He wasn't going to do that. So, the only thing he thought of doing was stopping their conversation with silence.
"Wow," Kara nodded. She knew what he was doing, and she also knew he was being stubborn. She was sad that he didn't trust her enough to say what was also going on with him. She was ready to walk out the room, but she saw that even though he didn't want to say what the key reason was for the way he was acting.
Sighing, she intertwined his fingers with hers. "Fine, don't tell me."
Mon-El looked at her with confused.
"But no matter what, I will be here for you the same way my Earth family is for me, and the same way I am for Winn and James and J'onn." She said.
He looked at their hands together. He felt her warm hands in his cold ones, he felt her thumb caressing the back of his hand, and he felt her emotional warmth spread onto him. After everything, he never felt this close to Kara. Even after kissing her, but later pretending to forget, he didn't feel this warm. But he didn't just feel her warmth, he felt free to let out his feelings. His tears finally escaped eyes, and before he could wipe them, Kara took him in his her arms. He immersed himself in her hold, wrapped his arms around her waist while hers were tightly around his neck.
"I miss Daxam so much." He cried. "I miss home so much."
"Shh," Kara dug a hand in his hair and another hand slid down to his upper part of his back. She slowly rubbed his back.
He tightened his hold on her, hoping he wouldn't break her, but also slowly remember she could take whatever he did to her.
"Well," she whispered, "your home… your home is gone."
Mon-El felt a pang of pain in his chest.
"But, if you let it, you can learn to make Earth your home. You can have a family with people like me and Winn and the rest. And we can be your home instead." She said. "And hopefully one day, you'll feel happy again."
Mon-El pulled back enough to see her face. She smiled, and he slowly smiled back. She grabbed the sides of his face and pulled his face towards hers, leaning her forehead on his, and Mon-El held her wrists. On Krypton, whenever she was upset as a child, her mother would lean foreheads together, wipe away her tears, and hold her small face in her hands.
The two closed their eyes, both thinking about their planets-their old homes. But even though Kara's planet was destroyed and Mon-El's was a wasteland, in each other's arms, they had never felt more at home.