By a strange turn of events the Mugiwara crew is turned into Twilight vampires…
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"Why are we sparkling?" Luffy asked his crew
"Because we are made of diamonds…" Zoro paused and looked at his own hand momentarily wondering if he could cut through his own skin.
"Really?! Cooooool!" Luffy jumped up and down happily
Robin looked at her glittery crew, "I dislike this vampire lore it's too far fetched."
"V-v-vampire!?" Usopp and Chopper yelled.
"Diamonds shouldn't stretch, it's not possible." Robin muttered
"Wait!" Nami turned to Robin "We are made of diamonds right? Like the gem stone?"
"Yes Navigator-san."
"Looks like you can finally pay me back Zoro, We just need to sell you."
"Go to hell!"
"How dare you speak to Nami-chwan that way you marimo bastard!"
"Why don't you sell yourself love cook? Aren't diamonds a girls' best friend? Huh, bet your new owner would loooove you."
"You bak-" Sanji considered this for a moment "No, I couldn't leave my precious Nami-swaaan!"
Nami looked over at Sanji and adopted her cute look, "Sanji-kun, we could use the extra money…"
"Yohohoho! I wonder if someone would pay to have sex with a diamond man."
"They probably would musician-san"
Sanji passed out from perversion over load.
"Oi, if we are vampires why do we have reflections? And how are we alive in the sunlight?" Usopp asked Robin
"If we are made of diamond, how is a wooden stake suppose to kill us?" Chopper asked Usopp. Usopp then began to tell Chopper the tale of the time that Usopp himself killed a coven of 10,000 vampire in a single night.
"As I said before sniper-san: this lore is too wrong to be believable."
"Zoro, why are you trying to cut your foot off?" Franky asked
"Try to see if I am strong enough to cut through diamond."
"Super!"
The crew lapsed into silence for awhile.
"If Ace was a vampire, would he die from using his powers?" Luffy asked
Somewhere else on the Grand Line:
"Damnit!" Thought the pile of ask that was recently Portagas D. Ace