a/n: this is a companion fic to my recent neth bellins one shot "burning up from the inside out," which was done in nikki's pov. this is done in seth's and was brought on by the encouragement of ramenreignss.
~*~said i wouldn't call but i've lost all control~*~
"i had to touch you with my hands; i had to taste you with my tongue. one can't love and do nothing."
graham greene, the end of an affair –
Staring up at the ceiling of his hotel room, Seth could still hear Nikki's voice. It was playing in his head on an endless loop. Over and over, he could hear her say that she still wanted him, still needed him and his heart lifted higher than he thought was possible as he remembered her saying she still loved him.
He sighed heavily pushing his fingers through his hair, wincing slightly as he moved his arm. The ladder match against Dean had been grueling, to say the least, a war of attrition was a more accurate description, really, but as much as he ached falling off that ladder after the superplex was nothing compared to the pain that struck his body when he walked into his locker room and found it empty.
Though, he should've expected it to be empty. Nikki made it perfectly clear that she thought he was lower than dirt after betraying Dean and Roman. He swallowed thickly, remembering the tears glistening in her chocolate eyes and that look of… He slammed his fist into the bed, not wanting to recall the expression on her pretty features; utter shock and disbelief and worst of all, looking at him like she didn't know him when she knew him best of all.
God help me, Seth Rollins, I still want you. I still need you. And damn it, I still love you.
Underneath the pain and anguish in her tone was that familiar lit of happiness. The kind that lingered in her melodic voice when she would lean in close and twist his hair around her finger and press her glossy lips on the underside of his chin and murmur, so only he could hear, "I love you."
That would always happen before matches, and after she'd pull back before he could reach for her, she would slap his ass and sometimes slap and pinch, making him laugh; especially when he'd turn in mock offense and she'd just whistle and bat her lashes, so much more naughty than the faux innocence she tried to portray.
And damn it, I still love you. And damn it, I still love you. And damn it, I still love you.
Before he could think twice, he leapt from the bed and grabbed the first shirt he could find. He knew if he called Nikki again, she wouldn't answer this time. She had said too much, revealed the truth that was still in both of their hearts and turned a wound that was slowly healing fresh once more, and he knew she hated being vulnerable, she much preferred her cocky façade especially when it came to her heart.
"It's those damn puppy eyes of yours. Like, I swear, Rollins you could just bat those stupid long lashes of yours and make your eyes all big, and be able to rob a bank without a gun. Either that or get you free blowjobs for life."
Nikki's voice was in his ear again after he had charmed Brie's room number out of the receptionist at the front desk. Asking for Nikki's wouldn't get anywhere. She'd take one look through the peephole and would threaten to call security if he didn't move. Of course going to Brie's room wasn't without risk. She was nothing if not protective, some might even say overly so, of her twin and he could wind up being punched or like so many divas be on the receiving end of a Bella Buster.
Then there was her husband. Daniel Bryan wasn't going to be welcoming him with open arms. But there was the small reprieve of him being injured, so any chance at a devastating running high kick to the neck was highly unlikely.
He winced at the thought, but knocked on the door, anyway.
"You didn't have to come to my room, I told you I'd…" Brie stopped mid-sentence when she realized her sister wasn't on the other side of the door after she'd opened it.
In an instant the pretty features of her face grew dark and fierce. Her eyes glowered and her lips were pursed into a frown, and when she moved to shut the door, Seth's hand shot out, stopping her before she could.
"Before you slam the door in my face or punch me, can you at least hear me out, please Brie?"
"Hear you out?! Hear you out?! You broke my sister's heart, you asshole! What more do I need to hear? You're one of them now, part of the very people who purposefully injured my husband and fired me because what? I wouldn't tow the company line? And look at what they've done to Nikki! Handicap match after handicap match, they're feeding her to the wolves and she doesn't have anyone to protect her, and you want me to hear you out?!"
Seth swallowed thickly, his blood simmered inside of his veins, and he wanted to slam his fist into the wall next to the door. Brie wasn't wrong, and it hurt watching Nikki having to go through handicap match after handicap match. Seeing Stephanie's ice blue eyes twinkle with malice and that slow blooming smirk on her lips as she revealed with sadistic glee yet again that Nikki would be participating in a two-on-one match because Brie "abandoned" her.
And there was nothing he could do. He just had to stand there and watch. It made him sick.
"If there was something…"
"There is something you can do; grow a set and tell Triple H and Stephanie to go fuck themselves! Stand up for Nikki like a man!"
"It's not that easy and you know it." He grit out through clenched teeth.
"It sure as hell was easy when you had Dean and Roman backing you up." Brie shot back. "Because I seem to remember the three of you, as The Shield, helped Daniel retain his title against Triple H in what was going to be that joke of a title match after Orton and Batista had shown up and nearly beat him into submission. The three of you came through the stands and were on the same side of the ring as Daniel, staring down Orton, Batista and Kane. You defied Triple H by getting into the ring and then Roman speared him and after you and Dean chased off the trash. Or was all of that just a figment of my imagination?"
"What do you want me to say?! That none of that happened?! That three weeks ago I was pinning Batista at Payback in the no holds barred elimination match and now I'm standing next to Hunter and Randy on the ramp? Is that what you want, Brie?"
"No, that's not what I want, you jackass! I want Nikki to be able to give you up! I want her to see that you're nothing but a backstabbing snake who only cares about himself and will do anything, including join up with The Authority, to get a little shine for himself! But she'll never see you that way. She still loves you and every single day that she sees you backstage and walks on those eggshells around you, she's hurting…" Brie's momentum was slowing down, her yelling drifting into quiet sobs as she swiped at her eyes that were filling with tears, as she reached out and shoved Seth in his chest. "And it's all your fault and there's nothing I can do, and you're the only one who can fix her, and it's not fair, you jerk!"
Tentatively Seth reached out for the sobbing brunette, but she shoved him away, biting out, "Don't put your dirty hands on me! Just, ugh," She ran her fingers through her hair. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I don't have a choice, I guess. Nikki's miserable without you. So get down on your knees and beg her for forgiveness. Cause while you deserve being stuck in this hell, she doesn't. Her room number's 245."
"Seriously, Brianna…" Nikki's grumbling stops, her eyes widening at the sight of Seth on the other side of the door.
Seth feels the familiar strike of arousal shooting through his body at the sight of Nikki. He recognizes the shirt that's leaving one of her shoulder's bare as one that used to belong to him. It was his favorite Parkway Drive shirt and he had every intention of getting it back [someday] until she cut the entire bottom half off along with part of the neck, so her right shoulder would be bared and all of her smooth stomach would as well.
He can't stop the curl of his lips and the words are tumbling out of his mouth before he can think twice. "That's mine."
She raises a perfectly shaped brow, arms crossing over her chest, which isn't doing him any favors because the action only emphasizes her ample breasts and he has to swallow. "Just because I didn't hang up on you earlier, doesn't mean you can just show up at my room."
"You told me that you still wanted me," He takes a bold step toward her and she holds up her hand, stopping his progress. "And that you still needed me. And…"
"You better shut up, Rollins, before I punch your stupidly pretty face."
"You don't want to punch me."
"No, I do want to punch you, it's just I wouldn't be doing you any favors. Roman can totes pull of a black eye, but you? I don't think so. You're too much of a pretty boy for that."
His heart beat rapidly in his chest at her teasing. There was the familiar glint in her beautiful chocolate eyes and the tilt of her raspberry lips, fighting a smile.
"You think I'm pretty?"
"You're such a doofus. Like you don't know you're pretty."
"Nicole…" He took a chance using her full name and he knew he made the right move, he could see her voluptuous frame shudder and her shapely legs quake slightly.
"Don't do this." She whispered, looking down at her feet. "Please, don't. I can't… If you… I…" He could see tears lining the length of her lashes, and it was like tiny shards of glass were pricking at his skin, unrelenting and constant. He hated knowing he was causing her this much pain, that the tears she was struggling to hold back were because of him.
"Nicole," He reached out and tilted her chin, and his heart sunk to the soles of his feet. She looked so lost, her chocolate eyes glistening with unshed tears, raspberry lips trembling and he knew that the power he was chasing by aligning himself with The Authority was nothing compared to the power he had in this moment; he could break or put Nikki Bella back together, and he knew he could only do one thing, put her back together.
So he leaned down, bringing his lips to hers, gently.
It feels like hours have passed until her lips move, but in reality it's only been seconds; just a shallow beat of his heart, really. And then in an instant, she's kissing him back with all the ferocity and intensity that he remembers and he's missed in the weeks he's been without her.
She's pinned underneath him, on the bed, before either of them can blink or know how they got there, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is this; the curves of her frame melding perfectly against the hard planes of his and their lips seared together while their tongues are tangling and their hands are roaming blindly, getting reacquainted with the curves and lines they used to know so well.
Once her shirt is gone and her breasts are bare for his eyes, somehow, she grows wetter. Her thighs clench and her hips buck as the roughness of his beard comes in contact with the sensitive skin of her right breast while his mouth eagerly latches onto her hardening nipple. And at the same time, as he begins sucking, her left breast is being molded and squeezed perfectly by the warm heft of his large palm.
There's nothing for her to do except arch further into both sensations, her back lifting off the bed, as her hips grind insistently against the front of his jeans, moaning wantonly at the feeling of his cock throbbing through the thick fabric.
His hand slides from her breast, making her whine in protest and grip his hair harshly, until she feels his fingers touching her through the lace of her panties.
"Fuck, Nicole." He groans, feeling her wetness soaking through the fabric.
"Don't be a fucking tease, Rollins." She grips him by the hair, bringing his face away from the valley of her breasts. "No foreplay tonight, okay?" Her voice wobbles slightly, losing some of its fierceness and she's staring at him, open and honest, her lovely chocolate eyes boring into his. "I just want you to be inside of me again. I just want to feel you filling me up. You don't know…" She sighs heavily. "God, you don't know, okay? You just don't."
He brings his forehead against hers, gently suckling at her bottom lip and murmuring, "I know."
Settling himself over her, Seth swallowed hard, as he looked down, briefly at the vision underneath him. And that's exactly what Nikki Bella was; a vision. If it was possible, she was even more beautiful in this moment than his memories made her out to be. He'd seen her like this, underneath him, only wearing panties more times than he could count, but this time was different.
Her warmly tanned skin glowed in the street lights that filtered into her hotel room, her raspberry lips were open, waiting to receive his, and her long, dark hair was spilling around her head, creating a halo.
"You're beautiful." He whispered just before he slid himself inside of her.
Eagerly, she pulled him down, bringing their lips together as her legs wrapped around his waist, pushing him in deeper and together, just as their tongues met, they groaned in ecstasy.
Nikki's legs squeezed tighter around Seth's waist as she met his powerful strokes, their bodies now soaked with sweat melded together seamlessly. Her muscles tightened around him, fluttering as her orgasm came closer and closer until she finally came, flying apart, her body trembling and pussy contracting as she raked her nails down the skin of his back.
"Fuck, Nicole. Damn it." Seth groaned against her mouth as he came, biting down, hard on her shoulder as he spilled inside of her.
They were a tangled mess of arms and legs, neither daring to move, too afraid to make a sound and destroy the spell they had created in that moment their lips had touched for the first time in too long.
"Nikki…" He lifted his head, heart breaking at how she shut her eyes and turned her head way. "Nicole," He murmured her name, gently moving her head back in his direction. "Nicole," His voice was slightly more forceful the second time. "Look at me. Please, Nicole, look at me."
"This doesn't change anything. You being here, us being like this, making love. It doesn't change a damn thing, Seth. You're still…" She was fighting back tears and his heart, that had been so high just moments before, came crashing back down to Earth. "Part of The Authority. I'm still going to get handicap match after handicap match until Stephanie drives me to quit or just gets sick of messing with me and wants a new toy and fires me."
"You're not a toy…."
"Try telling that to the billion dollar princess." Nikki scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Cause that's all I am to her. Just some Barbie whose strings she can pull."
"What if I talked to her?" Seth offered and he wasn't surprised by the fierce glare of Nikki's eyes. "How about I jump off a bridge? Cause I'd rather do that than have you go running to your Mommy to try and get her to stop picking on me. I'm not a five year old. I can take care of myself."
"I know you can. You're strong and you're capable and you're a fighter, which is why you're going to get through this. But we don't have to stay in this place. We can move forward."
"How? Do you really think your new bestie, Randy Orton and your Mommy and Daddy, Stephanie and Triple H are going to be cool with us together? They hate me. They drove my sister away from her job and purposefully injured my brother-in-law. I can't just forget that," Her lips curled softly as she stroked his face. "No matter how pretty you are."
"Can we just take it one day at a time for now? I don't want to lose you again. I could fall off a thousand ladders, and it wouldn't hurt as much as being without you did."
"You'll have to convince me."
"And just how will I do that, Miss Bella?"
"A fresh new pair of Louboutins would be nice, but for now…" Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Going down on me would be a good start."
Seth laughed as he shook his head, but was all too happy to comply with Nikki's request. There was nothing like feeling the smoothness of her skin underneath his lips, being able to smell the peach that lingered there from her body wash and then the taste of her on his tongue.
If there was a heaven, Nikki Bella was it.