You despair. You have been told to believe in people, to open up to them and so you did, you let them in, you trusted them, you believed in them and in what they said, how they told you they had never wanted to abandon you, how they had no choice, but now, now your feelings are an hindrance, they are obscuring your judgment. They act and talk as if they knew how you feel, as if you were an open book, and you have become one because of them, but they are unable to read you, they do not understand you, they just think they do. And it makes you want to do things, terrible things fueled by anger. You want to shake them, yell at them until they see the real you, not this perfect savior or this little baby that they see when they want to; you want them to see the orphaned girl who grew up in a tough world, who knew how to hijack cars at fifteen and became a bounty hunter at twenty-one in order to make people like Neal pay, to stop them from hurting innocent girl.
You are not weak and you are not governed by your supposed feelings for the man who ruined your life, you have a gut feeling that you have always trusted and has often protected you, but they do not believe in you. These days, it seems that no one does.
You are alone. Alone and chasing an immortal being who took your love and your hand, you have lived three hundred years and you know now, that the feeling of loneliness you felt when you lost her was nothing compared to how you feel now. Everyone you have ever known has died while you kept on living, to hunt your enemy, or are in Neverland, a place you no longer have access to. Your heart weeps for someone to care for, someone who would care for you. You have spent some time with Cora, but your partnership was betrayed by her and her daughter several times; since you woke up from that twenty-eight years long sleep there has been only one person who almost cared for you, who wanted to know more of you but could not trust you. And although you hate her for not trusting you, you know she was right, you would have done anything to get your revenge, even put her and her family in danger. But now you wish, you wish for her help, for her company. You had not felt that carefree since your time with Milah, but you have sacrificed too much running after the Crocodile to let it go now, not unless you would get a new purpose in exchange.
But your only life purpose is this revenge, this thirst that you need to clench and for that loneliness is one of the many sacrifices that you must make. After you accomplish it, your life will be over but until then, revenge fuels your empty heart.