Catherine's POV once again with a couple of interludes.
My body feels sluggish as I wake, feeling someone's hand nudge me.
"Catherine, it's Warrick."
I jerk into consciousness, wondering where the hell I am and why I'm not pressed up against Gil.
"What's going on? Where is he?"
"He's fine, Catherine. He's going to be fine." Warrick looks at me, concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I feel like shit," I reply. "Why the hell does my body feel so weird?"
"The doctor's gave you another sedative," he says quietly.
Now I'm beyond pissed off. "What? Who the hell gave them authorization to do that?"
"I did."
My eyes widen, looking at him in shock and betrayal.
"You kept yelling at him, pushing him around. We thought you could hurt him, or yourself."
"Did it slip your mind that I was once addicted to coke?" I ask him, rage bubbling up inside me.
"I told the doctor's that. They said you should be fine." He sighs. "Look, the doctors say you can see Gil, but only if you promise not to yell at him. No hitting or pushing..."
I fold my arms, sitting up a little as my head swims. "Then tell him I won't be seeing him."
This time Warrick looks surprised. "What?"
"I'm not going to promise that. Because right now I'm still pissed off at him."
As my vision starts to refocus, I notice Nick and Sara standing in the hallway. "What are they looking at?"
"They were worried about you."
"Tell them to save their pity for Gil." I stand up, somewhat unsteadily. "I'm going home."
He stands up in front of me, anger written plainly on his face. "What the hell is the matter with you? Why are you so angry with him? He almost got killed trying to save your life!"
"That's why I'm so angry with him," I grit out. "Leave me alone, Warrick. Just leave me alone."
Gil blinks at Warrick, trying to comprehend what he's saying. "She did what?"
"She was pretty upset, Grissom. I don't think she fully knew what she was doing," Nick pointed out.
Gil shifted slightly in the bed. "She knew." He glanced at Warrick. "The sedative?"
"She's just a bit sluggish."
"I want to see her," Gil said firmly.
"Grissom, maybe you should wait until you're a bit stronger," Sara suggested.
Gil looked at the group assembled around his bed. "I don't enforce the whole chain of command thing often, but I want to see Catherine." He looked at Warrick. "Go and get her."
I stomp into the hospital, cranky at being hauled back here moments after leaving.
"Gil Grissom," I say to the woman at the reception.
"Friend or family?" she asks.
"Neither at the moment," I reply.
"It's okay, she's with me," Warrick says, appearing beside the desk. "Hi, Cath."
I nod at him and follow him down the hallway. My emotions have gone sideways. On one hand I'm so nervous, afraid of how bad he really is. On the other, I'm still pissed off with him, and intend to give him a piece of my mind.
I walk into the room, being as casual as possible and flop down on one of the chairs. "You wanted me, here I am." My eyes travel across his body. He's pale, but not as pale as before. There are tubes, but not as many as before. He can handle me.
"Hi, Catherine." His eyes roam across me. "I heard about the sedatives."
"I'm fine," I reply stubbornly.
Gil glances at Warrick. "War, could you give us a few minutes?"
Warrick looks at me for a moment, probably thinking I'm going to get up and strangle Gil the minute he leaves. Which actually isn't far from the truth, but I'm not going to tell him that.
"Please, Warrick."
Warrick nods at Gil and then leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I have no doubt that the 'kids' will probably all be listening at the door. Well let them. It's not going to bother me.
"Come sit over here, Cath."
"I don't think you want me to do that," I reply.
He raises an eyebrow, and I'm tempted to kick his ass because he's being so goddamned calm about this whole situation.
"And why is that?"
"Because I am this close to wanting to strangle you that I don't think it's a good idea."
"Come over here, Catherine," he says, firmly.
Despite my better judgment I rise, and move to sit beside him on the bed. "Okay, I'm here. What is it?"
"Warrick tells me that you're pretty angry with me."
"Try pissed off, then multiply it by ten. That should give you a better reading."
"Why?"
That does it. "Why? Why? Why do you think Gil? Could it possibly be you almost got yourself killed by pulling some stupid macho man stunt? Could it be that you almost died on me?"
"Better me than you," he mumbles.
I stand up and whip around. "Don't feed me that crap, Gil! Don't you get it? You promised to stay with me and never leave. Well, last night you came pretty close to breaking that promise."
His eyes narrow. "That's what bothers you, isn't it? Not the fact that I did it, but the fact that I almost died."
"Is there a difference?" I ask, folding my arms.
"Yes, Catherine, there is. If I hadn't stepped in front of you, that guy would have sliced your neck and you wouldn't be standing here yelling at me."
"So this was merely about height difference?"
"Does it really bother you so much that someone would be prepared to lose their life in order for you to live?"
"Don't pull that philosophical crap with me, Gil. It won't work."
"I'd do it again."
"Don't say that," I warn him, pointing a finger at him. "Don't you ever fucking say that again."
He's not used to me swearing, and for that matter, I'm not used to it either. But I can't help it. Rage bubbles inside me and I know it's stopping me from sobbing that I almost lost the one man I can't live without.
"Come sit down, Cath."
I move back to the bed and sit down beside him. I look at him, his eyes burning into mine. I remember them burning with that same intensity when we made love, as his eyes trailed a blaze down my body…I mentally shake my head. Do not go there, Catherine.
But I think he knows where my mind detoured. I can tell by the way he's looking at me. My resolve begins to weaken and I reach out a hand, gently caressing his face. "Don't you get it?" I murmur. "I'm not ready to live without you. I don't think I'll ever be ready. You gave me a hell of a scare last night, Gil. And after having just told you how much I love you and need you…I couldn't bear the thought of having been so close to what I've always wanted and then having it taken away." The tears are freefalling now, and my hand trails a pattern across his face, silently memorizing it. "Damn you, Gil. I was determined to remain pissed at you for a very long time. And now look at me. I'm a blubbering mess."
His hand reaches out and takes mine, drawing it to his lips so he can kiss it gently. "You're not a mess, Catherine. You're beautiful. And I'm glad you're not going to stay pissed at me because the doctors say I need someone to keep an eye on me for a while."
I bend down, so that my lips are millimeters from his. "Is that so?"
He nods, his eyes silently pleading with me to kiss him. I comply, and press my lips gently to his.
I pull apart quickly, anxious not to hurt him and a look of confusion runs through his eyes.
"Don't want to hurt you," I mumble, my finger tracing his lips.
"I didn't get stabbed in the lips, Cath," he reminds me.
I give in, pressing my lips against his more firmly this time, demanding entrance to his mouth, which he happily gives.
"You scared me to death," I tell him, as I snuggle next to him on the bed.
"I could never let anyone hurt you," he replies, his hand resting over the one I have laying on his chest, mindful of his wounds. "And I could never willingly stand back and let that happen." He takes my hand and kisses it. "You have to understand, Catherine, it's part of me. I'm always going to be like this. I'm always going to have this need to protect you."
"Just try to keep away from knives," I warn him, my head resting against him.
"I'll do my best," he answers, kissing my forehead. "I love you."
"I love you," I reply.
And as I fall asleep, next to him, the only thing I hear is his steady, gentle breathing. And I know I am safe here, in his arms. Always.
