CHRISTIAN
"A few years ago a customer of mine came to me asking for help. He asked if I knew anyone who could look into things for him, not just your average PI. Clearly the someone he needed looked into had power and money." I look at Ray bemused wondering where he's going with this. Perhaps he needs my help looking into that someone.
"Patrick had arrived at the hospital just in time to hear his daughter beg the doctors not to call the authorities as the bruises she had sustained was due to an alternate sexual lifestyle, and it was all consensual." I take a tentative step back as I feel a cold shiver run down my spine. "Patrick naturally said nothing to his daughter and came to me hoping I would know someone from my military days who could find the man who as far as he was concerned hurt his daughter, as luck would have it I did." For the first time, he gives me a look that leaves me under no illusion he is talking about me. "By the time the information arrived on my doorstep Patrick Harding was no longer interested in the information. His daughter after sustaining a broken collarbone had decided she'd had enough of the lifestyle. Patrick didn't know who the man was and didn't want to know least he did something stupid and ended up in jail. I, on the other hand, knew precisely who he was." Patricia Harding was my third sub. Any hope I had this conversation wasn't about me has firmly and truly being extinguished.
"My daughter is a very stubborn woman, and I know her well enough to know that asking her to stay well clear of you will be a waste of breath…"
"What is going on?" Ana asks eyes darting between her father and me.
"I was about to ask Mr. Grey to stay well clear of you," Ray says nonchalantly.
"When I left you two were talking about fishing what happened?" The incredulity in her voice is clear as day.
"My daughter is not going to be a sex slave for any man." He says turning his glare on her when it becomes apparent to him she already knows. "You knew and yet… Jesus, Ana are you that insecure, do you think so little of yourself that you believe this is what you deserve." She blanches at his tone. "I knew Morton got to you, got into your head… I thought you had gotten over that, after all these years you still believe the shit he spewed enough to subject yourself to him." He sneers when he says him.
"No." Her voice is barely above a whisper.
"Then what, why would you allow any man to beat you for his pleasure. Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into? I can assure you, Ana, you know nothing about this man." He turns his glare back on me, and I swear I'm still standing because we are in a public setting.
"I brought it up thinking you were about to tell me you no longer practice the lifestyle. I'd hoped you had some decency to stay well clear of my innocent daughter knowing what you prefer but clearly I was wrong. I have no issue with what you choose to do in the privacy of your own home with like-minded individuals, but when you involve my daughter you make it my business. If you see my little girl coming, cross the road or what I know will become public knowledge, and that would be the least of your problems. You can leave now." He growls, and I hightail it out of there in fear that my secret will become common knowledge.
All these years I thought my night with Patricia had ended well considering she ended up in the hospital, I was wrong. The thought of a sub's family finding out other than they telling their parents never crossed my mind. Her father had me investigated at a time when GEH was in its infancy. I didn't have the resources to have every information about me made impossible to access. Now try to look into me and my team will know before you even begin. I had taken solace in that knowledge, I was careful and took every precaution to make sure I was never ousted; all that was in vain. The entire time my secret was in the hands of Raymond Steele. What are the chances I would be so captivated by the daughter of the one father who knew about me?
For months none of the subs Elena showed me had remotely stirred my interest, I was beginning to think I would never find a sub that appealed to me even on a minute level. Then she fell into my office, and I was gone, I felt alive again, invigorated, my interest renewed. I looked forward to showing her the pleasures my lifestyle could provide. God, the vanilla sex was above and beyond anything I expected, her talents when it came to oral was phenomenal and to think she was a complete novice.
I fish my phone out of my pocket and call Welch. "Get me everything you can on Raymond Steele." There has to be something I can do. I can't and won't give up Ana.
"Yes, sir." I hang up and stare at my phone. Am I hoping she will defy her father and call? Of course, she won't, not when it means my destruction. I decide to head back to Seattle. I call Flynn on the way hoping he would fit me in tonight. He agrees to see me after practice hours hearing the desperation in my voice.
"Have you considered giving up the lifestyle, as right now it's your only chance of getting the girl?" Flynn advises.
"It's all I know," I argue weakly.
"Didn't you just go on a tirade about how great the vanilla sex was?" He counters annoyed.
"It doesn't mean I can only do that with her." I retort angrily.
"Well, either you do or stop bleating on about her."
"You are not helping." I bark.
"I've given you my advice, which might I add it's your only obvious solution. Breaking into her father's house and getting the file on you doesn't guarantee Ana would return to you defying her father in the process. The man you say means the world to her. Her father is not the problem you are; your refusal to remotely try something else is the problem. This lifestyle of yours is keeping you prisoner and has for years. That prison of fear you've locked yourself in is slowing becoming solitary confinement. You have pushed everyone away because of it, and now the one person that has brought you alive you've lost because of it. We can talk all you want but it will do little good if you do not make a conscious effort to rid yourself of your self-imposed isolation." He stares at me waiting for me to argue his point. I have no reply, none he would like anyway.
"Raymond Steele is as clean as they get, not even a parking ticket," Welch informs me.
"What about his finances. Does he have a safety deposit box or anything remotely close?"
"No sir, nothing of the sort was indicated on the checks I did, but I can look further into it."
"Do... and get me a blueprint of his house." I grumble dismissing him with a wave.
"Hello." Her sweet voice tinged with sleep answers.
"Ana, come outside."
"What!" Within seconds, her bedroom window flies open, and she looks out.
"I'm in the SUV across the road," I say lowering the windows and waving at her.
"You can come in my mom and Bob are at some charity thing at the golf club." She says lowering the window. I practically run from the SUV to her front door.
"Christian, what are you doing here?" She asks seconds after the door opens. I can't help it and launch myself at her. She grips the back of my head and returns my kiss with equal fervor.
"I've missed you," I admit, for once I throw my reserved demeanor out the window and embrace my need for her. "How long do we have?" I ask my lips attached to her neck.
"Not long, they should be back soon." Fuck, I left it late thinking they would be asleep.
"Ana, can we talk?"
"Yes, come in." She takes my hand walking me into the living room. "If they pull up while you are still here, we can see the headlights, and you leave out the back door. Good thinking.
"If I get the information Ray has on me will you come back to me as my sub... we can continue with your training," I ask still holding on to her fingers.
"Christian, he's my father… he was there for me when my mom abandoned me after the fiasco with husband number three. Ray didn't have to come for me, but he did and put me back together. Despite what my dad thinks, I will not go against him. Let's say you do manage to get the file, and I come back to you, it will take him the second he realizes it's gone to know it's your doing. How could I possibly face him knowing I came back to you as a sub because you broke into his home and rifled through his procession. I have too much respect for him to do that… and he has a point, as much as I want you I don't want to be a sub." The first blow was enough but to know she does not want to be a sub is an added sickening feeling.
"Oh." Is all that leaves me.
"I miss you and want you, but in all honesty, I will only agree to be your sub hoping that eventually you will want more with me. What you just proposed tells me you have no inclination to try for a normal relationship. I had hoped you came to tell me you had done away with the lifestyle and wanted to try for more." She looks as dejected as I feel. Flynn was right my only chance of getting her back is to try for a more normal relationship.
"As much as I want you, we both know I can't give you what you want, and you are not what I need, your lifestyle isn't for me. I can't ask you to change for me, not that it's an option." I think she's held on because she had hoped I would change, and her father's threat would no longer be an issue. My asking her to come back as a sub has squashed that hope. "I think you should go… before my mom and Bob get's home." She stands and heads for the front door before I can say anymore. "Goodbye Christian."
"Ana…" She shuts the door before I can say anymore. I"m rooted to my spot feeling dejected as I hear her sobs on the other side of the door, but I'm soon forced to leave when I realize standing there is going to cause problems if her mother and husband find me here.
I feel numb with pain. I thought Ray was truly the issue, but I'm beginning to realize I am. I have a life that gives me the control I need, it has worked thus far, and I see no reason to make such drastic changes when I have no idea the end result. I make a conscious decision to move on from Ana. I will call Elena when I get back to Seattle and get myself a sub. Eventually, we will forget about each other... or she will forget about me when she meets a nice healthy boy who can give her the life she deserves... hearts and flowers.