Pain
Disclaimer: The characters (Burke, Cristina, Bailey, Izzie, and Meredith) were created by Shonda Rhimes and are owned by ABC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Written after the season 2 finale on May 15, 2006
In every hospital, pain is the name of the game. Some people are there to cure the pain, others create pain to their loved ones who share their pain. Sometimes the pain comes from your wound, other times a wounded spirit.
Burke did not feel the pain in his wounded shoulder. They've drowned his veins with too much painkillers. His heart didn't hurt either. It simply stopped beating at that burning intensity after he tried to set Cristina free. The only place that hurt was his eyes. He tried to attribute his hand tremors to his tired, tears-filled eyes.
Burke has been there to lift people from their sufferings. He never thought he would be lying on a hospital bed, playing a suffering patient's role. This was not a world he was familiar with. This was not the hospital he belonged to, not anymore.
At the prom, Cristina felt the same. She never liked proms, much less a prom in the hospital. Being in the hospital has always made her feel strong. It was a place where she belonged. Not tonight. She was losing herself. She knew that if even the Chief couldn't give her an answer, something must be really wrong.
The last time Cristina went to a prom, her mom made her wear an ugly dress and her date was lame. She thought her dress tonight was pretty—Meredith technically stole it from Izzie's extravagant wardrobe for her—but who was there to dance with? She should have stayed with Burke. She promised him. But she was scared.
"Cristina, why are you here?" Bailey spotted her standing frozen in the middle of the crowd. Bailey asked her in a motherly way, her gentle concern shocked Cristina.
"It's the Chief's order…Well…Everyone goes to the prom," Cristina wasn't sure about what to say. Or do.
"Go. You know this is not the right place for you."
The right place? Cristina asked herself.
The hospital bed was not the right place for Burke. Cristina stood outside his room, watching. She has been there many times tonight, when Burke was in and out of his consciousness. Most times nobody caught her there. Once she even went as close as to his bedside and pressed her lip upon his cheeks, where she tasted both his sweat and tears. She could not believe she was doing all these, because it was only this morning that she told her friends it was over.
She found it even harder to believe that every time she went back to this room, she fled whenever he was about to wake up. When he was alert, all she could manage was to read his chart or like now, watch him as if he was an illustrated case study in her medical textbook.
Burke was also staring hard. He knew no matter how many times he flexed his fingers the tremor would not go away. Suddenly, it wasn't trembling anymore; and for once in life, it felt warm. When he looked up and saw the stubborn little face, he smiled.
He has always enjoyed cuddling Cristina in her sleep, feeling her body's warmth. But tonight, he felt something that was more than warmth from that silent embrace.
He did not want to break the spell and he dared not say a word.
She averted her gaze, still holding his hand.
When she opened her eyes again, he saw her mascara rolling down. Was she going to leave him? Why was she looking so sad?
"I was at the prom. Nobody danced with me."
He was still lying in bed, playing a pathetic patient, but her words made him feel strong again. No matter how weak he has become, he still has to take care of this woman. "I will."
"I know you will." Slowly she knelt down beside him, guiding his fingers across her face, moistening not only his fingertips with her warm tears, but also the scar in his heart.
THE END