The very true and astonishing story of Emperor Randall

by Randall 'the boss man' Boggs

So this is a true story. if you don't believe me i don't care because it is ok. ask Fungus if you want. This ia a tale of great courage and glorious victory. you might cry in some parts and you might get a little scared to. oh and FYI look out for the NSFW at the the end it gets preeettyy steamy. it deleted Ms Flints name and refuses to include it in the story for some reason...

Once upon a time there was a little lizard who was born so very attractive his name was Randall. 'Congrats little lizard on your spectacular DNA' said everyone ever.

There were also two other monsters who were disgusting and none liked them .ever. and they were gross. Their names were wazowski and Sullivan or something who cares? Anyway ….

So one day the ever so sexy lizard was at work and he saw these two morons and he was like 'AYE! BRING ME A COFFEE YOU UTTER TWERPS'

''certainly oh master Boggs we shall do your bidding as you are much more intelligent, better looking, nicer ,get more ladys, smell better and are generally just a great guy. Oh and also better at board games' they whimpered pathetically. King Randall did receive his coffee and consumed it with much grace. Grace that resembled a deer leaping majestically across a meadow.

'we are honoured to have served you with your daily caffeine Master Boggs' they snivelled.

Master Boggs told those little dweebs to can it, and they did.

Later that day Emperor Randall was doing some serious scaring putting up so big numbers on the scare board when one of the disgusting cretins who goes by the nickname big hairy flea bag, thought it would appropriate to look in the emperors general direction. He soon regretted this. 'Hold my Oscar award statue and nobel peace prize noble steed' The great Randall declared to his little jelly bean steed Fungus. The emperor kicked that insolent creeps tail even though he was much bigger than Randall and his smell was what some folks would call gag worthy.

Everyone on the scare floor cheered, 'WOOOO YEEEEE GO EMPORER CUPCAKE YOU ARE SO GOOD AND HAVE MAD KUNG FU SKILLS WE ALL LOVE YOU'.

The day was most definitely saved and Sullivan and his repulsive little one eyed moron were sent packing to fear tech for causing such problems on the scare floor. Randall was rewarded with a big bowel of spaghetti and a couple arms full of beautiful honeys for his brave and noble work.

'Oh great lizard king you forgot your biggest re ward' said as she gave him a big smooch… on the lips and everything. They got married and had lots of beautiful lizard children.

THE END