As we all know, the characters aren't mine. The song is by Seether "Broken". It's not mine. Minor spoiler for Judgment Day. Mostly angst/hurt/comfort. Barely romance. I hope you enjoy it. As always R&R. This isn't beta-ed so any mistakes are mine. I try to proofread everything I write, but I don't always catch everything. Thanks for reading. Enjoy.
I
wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high
and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves
me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause
I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong
enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel
right when you're gone away
The worst is over now and we can
breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain
away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I
wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when
I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm
broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone
away
Gibbs was driving Abby home from Director Sheppard's funeral and oddly enough the radio was on. Abby had chosen the station because Gibbs didn't really care one way or the other. The song couldn't have fit more perfectly for either of them. Abby knew how close Gibbs and Jen were. She knew there was a past, hell anybody with a brain knew that. She also knew that he still had very strong feelings for their late director and no matter what Abby's feelings were for her silver haired boss at this point, all that mattered to her was his being okay. She wanted to help him deal with this, so when she heard the first lines of the song, she told him to pull over and listen to it. Really listen. There was a parking lot nearby so he pulled in and turned the radio up. When the song was over, he turned the radio off and drove in silence to his house. Abby asked no questions when she realized where they were heading. She knew why she wasn't going straight home. He needed her right now and she wasn't about to let him down. He had never let her down, she couldn't do that to him. Not now, not after what had just happened.
They walked down the stairs to the basement in silence, neither had spoken since she had told him to pull over and listen to the song. Gibbs turned to face her when they got downstairs and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Abby," he whispered into her hair. He let her go and walked over to the bench, grabbing the bottle of Rare Breed he kept down there on the way. She joined him and took a drink of the burning liquid. She knew they both needed this and regardless of how it wasn't going to change what had happened, she knew it was the best thing for them both right now.
"Gibbs," she said quietly after about 20 minutes. "I just want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you. You don't have to always be strong. It's okay to let go every once in a while. I won't tell anyone. You're safe with me, emotion wise I mean. I trust you with my life and I hope that you can trust me. I know you loved her. That much is obvious. If there is anything I can do, just let me know." She scooted over just a bit and laid her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him as she did so.
Gibbs let her words sink in and nodded his head as he wrapped his arms around her, reciprocating her motions. "I love you, Abbs. Thanks for being here. And I do trust you. You know, you're probably the only one brave enough, besides Ducky, to be around me right now. But you're the only one I even want to have around me right now." He rested his chin on her head and leaned back against the wall. "I have lost so many people that I care about. My mother, Shannon and Kelly. I think that one hurt the most. I almost lost DiNozzo, and then I did lose Kate. And now Jenny's dead. I'm not sure how much more of this I can go through. And you know what scares me the most?" Abby shook her head and he continued. "The thought of losing you. I'm not totally sure how I would react to that." Abby's head shot up at that last remark, unsure of how to take what he'd just said.
"What makes you think you will ever lose me? I'm here. I'm not an agency director or a field agent. Yeah I have had the stalkers, but you protect me from those. I don't plan on going anywhere. I know it sucks, really I do. I don't know how you have dealt with so much grief, I really don't. I wish I had the words to help heal the pain, to take away the hurt, but I don't. You have experienced a lot of pain, but, and you might not agree with this, you are a stronger person because of it. Like I said, I am here for you. I know you never talk about your feelings and emotions, you keep everything bottled up, and I don't really blame you for being such a private person. But like I said, your secrets are safe with me, Gibbs. I love you too, you know." Abby finished and looked in his eyes, trying to figure out if she had made him mad at all. Telling Gibbs you knew certain things about him normally didn't go over very well but the only emotion in his crystal blue eyes was gratitude. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her lips, not even thinking about it, just going with his feelings.
"Thank you, Abby," he said again. "For everything. For being there for me through this, for keeping my secrets safe, for trusting me. Sometimes I think you're my guardian angel." Gibbs wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her into a tight hug, releasing her just enough for them to be comfortable in the position they were in, and once again rested his head against the wall behind them. Abby kept her head on his shoulder as they leaned back against the wall, the tears starting to escape from her eyes, as he held her close.
Gibbs felt his shirt dampen with her tears and tilted her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. He cupped her face in his hands and with his thumbs, wiped away her tears. He leaned forward and kissed her again, this time letting it go further than it should have. They both new the reason. They both needed the comfort the other could offer. It would be a difficult road, but eventually they would both be alright. They had one another and right now, that's all that mattered to either of them.