Author's Note: Kasey = Yuuki. Rumor has it that's his tentative American name. I don't really like it, but when I write stories, canon rules. Would've used the Japanese name, but I feel Japanese names in English stories break flow. And if I'd named him something I came up with, no one would know who I was talking about, even further down the road. So I'm going with Kasey for now, and if it changes later on in the actual release, I'll just use a search-and-replace and replace the documents.

Finn is spelled with two 'n's in the American version. I know from the screenshots.

For those of you who don't know about Animal Parade, it has a different witch. So before you jump in about the lack of teddy bears in the house, or say the witch doesn't wear a sexy corset, go look up the Animal Parade/Exciting Animal March Witch.

I'll shut up now. Here goes the story.

-----------------------------

A swamp.

In the middle of a forest.

Fine place for a swamp, I suppose. I blinked a couple of times; my eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the Tamtam Forest. Well... it wasn't just a swamp. A rickety old bridge connected the place I stood to a small, lonely island opposite side of a ring-shaped moat, the edges of which were coated with moss and algae. The heavy air smelled strangely of summer rain and eggs on the brink of expiration. And right in the middle of the island was a little round house with a pink roof and matching mailbox. The house seemed to be attached to a hollow tree filled with old junk. "This is the place!" Finn chirped. "Miss Witch must be in her house."

"Miss Witch? What makes her so special that she gets a title?"

"You haven't met her yet."

I crept across the rickety bridge, trying futilely not to squeak. "Shh!" Finn hissed. "Miss Witch might get angry if she knows humans are on her property!"

"Well then why the hell are we here?!" I whispered at the top of my whisper-lungs.

"The bell, remember?" he reminded me. "We're here to get the green bell!"

"Ohh... yeah."

"Geez, Kasey, pay attention. It's bad enough when you don't remember to bathe."

"Oh, that was one time! The hot spring wasn't working!"

"Yeah, for a whole week? I don't think so. Don't even pretend working in the barn doesn't make you smell. I know. I have to follow you everywhere."

"Oh, yeah?!" I shouted. Yeah... yeah... yeah... I just yelled in a forest inhabited by an angry witch, if Finn was to be believed. "Well you're just a half-size, sixth-ranger momma's boy of a Harvest Sprite!"

Finn's tiny face sunk. "I am not a momma's boy."

"Then why does the Harvest Goddess cradle you like a baby when you start worrying too much, huh?"

"S-she just loves me..."

CRASH! Our argument was interrupted by a loud sound from inside the Witch's house. "Come on! Let's go look and see what that was."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Do you always have to go looking for trouble?"

"Heey, I don't look for trouble! Trouble is just attracted to me. Must be my awesome hair."

Finn sighed. "Please be respectful to Miss Witch."

"Aw, when have I shown anything but the utmost respect?" I looked at Finn. He had his diminutive hand splayed across the middle of his face, and he shook his head in exasperation. I approached the house and wiped a little spot of condensation from the fogged-up window with my jacket sleeve and peeked through. Inside was a silver-haired woman with bright orange eyes wearing a mantle over her shoulders, a pair of poofy shorts, a pointy hat, and a very... uplifting corset. Didn't leave much to the imagination, but I wasn't about to be the square who'd complain about that! And I was afraid the Witch would be some old lady with a big wart on her nose! No, she was one of those sexy witches.

Oh, and there was a guy, too. Some guy with a braid and fancy robes. Fruitcake. The witch seemed angry at the man, but it didn't seem to phase him. If I tuned out the din of nearby insects, their conversation came through the window surprisingly clearly.

"How DARE you?! What the hell is your problem?!" the witch screamed.

"Miss Witch... it was an accident..." the man replied. "Just a spell... gone awry..." He talked slowly, but he didn't seem nervous.

"An ACCIDENT?!" The witch was a different story. She yelled and screamed at the man, waving her arms and stomping her clacky shoes. "I was a pink frog! Do you know how difficult it is to cook with those webby little suction-cup fingers?! And pink! Frogs aren't pink! Why I oughta..."

"Miss Witch, frogs eat flies. You could've very well eaten flies."

"By themselves?! Like HELL! Gale, have you ever taken one of those... gee, I dunno, what kinda spices do you have in your fancy town life?"

"Spices? Like... curry powder?"

"Yeah! Curry powder! Have you ever taken a handful of curry powder and just eaten it on its own?"

".........No."

"Well, that's what eating flies would be like!"

"...It's sustenance."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" the witch stomped her foot, got up in the man's face, and pointed at the door.

The man made the first discernible facial expression I could see; he raised the eyebrow that wasn't covered by hair. "...Very well." He turned toward the door. I ducked out of sight.

"And STAY OUT!" The door opened and the man in the robe walked through, carefully turning the knob and quietly closing the door behind him.

"......Hello... uh, I don't believe we've met."

I was pressed against the wall of the house, hoping to go unnoticed. "I'm Kasey," I said. "Who are you?"

"I'm a wizard..." he said, gazing off into space.

"So, you're name's Gale, right?"

"Who told you that?" he demanded, raising his voice about a decibel.

"Oh, well, I heard the witch--"

"That's Madam Witch to the likes of you." he interrupted.

I stuck out my tongue and waved my fingers, mocking Gale. "Meeeh, sorry, Queen Empress Lady Madam Witch-sama called you that. Figured it must be your name."

"Well it is.... but if you tell anyone..."

"What'll happen? Gonna turn me into a newt? Oooh, spare me, great Wizard!"

"...I'm well capable." he said. And with that, he walked off.

"'I'm well capable,' myeh myeh myeh," I mocked to myself. "Geez, what a phony baloney. I bet you've got more magical power in your teeny little body than he does, Finn."

"Uhh... can we get the bell now?" Finn sighed.

"Okay, okay, we're going." I knocked on the door. Tap tap.

The door flew open. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME-- Oh... who the hell are you?!"

"My name's, um, Kasey." I sputtered.

"Um, Kasey, hm? Never seen you here before. What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Well, it's not really a neck... it's more of a clearing." What the hell? Why am I running my mouth? This is Queen Empress Lady Madam Sexy Witch-sama. She doesn't care.

"You make one more pun like that and I feed you to the hippo in the swamp. Now what are you doing here, Um, Kasey?"

"Actually, it's Kasey. Just Kasey."

"Well, KaseyJustKasey, what do you want?!"

"Kasey, ma'am. My name is Kasey."

"Oh, geez, now you're confusing me. Look, tell me what you want or get out of here!"

"Do you know anything about a green bell?"

She thought for a minute, contorting her long silver eyebrows into all kinds of squiggles. "As a matter of fact, I do!" I did a silent fist-pump. Yes! "Well you can't expect me to just give it to you. What have you got? Come on, let's see what's in that big backpack of yours. I'll trade you for it."

"Well, I've got..." I started emptying my rucksack. "A hammer... an axe..."

"I've got my own."

"Forty-six common mushrooms..."

"No kidding."

"Two blueberries..."

"Nothing special."

"A watering can..."

"I live in a swamp, what would I do with that?"

"Five bars of gold..."

"What are you doing walking around with that kinda loot?"

"You want it?"

"Nah, I've got no use for it."

"Fine. Two green herbs..."

"Kinda useful, but not Bell-worthy."

"Well... all I've got left is this weird, sparkly pink-and-purple mushroom I found on the way over here."

"A Tamtam Mushroom?" Her orange eyes lit up.

"I guess... is it?" I held up the mushroom and rotated it, as if I were looking for some kind of label.

"Yeah! I'll take it!"

"Really? Waaaaiiit... is this thing super-valuable?"

Suddenly my vision was blocked by a little orange blob. "Kasey!" Finn reprimanded me. "You're going to throw away the wellness of the island just to make a quick buck?"

"Hey, my house wasn't free, you know," I pointed out.

"I'm sure it wasn't," the witch replied. Oh, yeah. She can't see Finn. What was it that the Harvest Goddess said, only the young at heart could see the Harvest Sprites? That couldn't be right. The pure at heart? Don't think so; I have no trouble seeing them. Maybe it's a genetic thing. I wonder if-- "Hey!" the witch shouted, interrupting my train of thought. "It's not worth much, if you have to know. It's just useful for potions and stuff. Humans like you have no real use for 'em. So, you gonna trade or not?"

"Uh..."

"You're not actually thinking about it, are you?" Finn shouted, drawing closer to my face. I leaned back a bit.

"Sure," I said.

"Why're you leaning back like that? What, do I smell, or something?"

"Oh, no, not at all, Madam Witch! You, uh... you smell like..." What do girls aspire to smell like? Moreover... what do witches aspire to smell like? "...Warts." What?! What the hell just came out of my mouth?!

"Warts? What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded of me, leaning closer to my face. Ohh, and I could hardly see the actual corset anymore, my line of sight was split between Finn and a lovely, pale, round pair of-- "Hey! Spacecase McLecherboy! You gonna trade or not?!"

"I-- I-- I-- Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll do it," I sputtered.

"Great!" The witch's disposition immediately flipped; she snapped back and stood up straight, and a cute grin plastered its way onto her face. Fantastic, a bipolar sexy witch! "I'll go get the bell!"

"Okay, great, uh, you go get the bell," I muttered, leaning on the table with my left arm as she slinked off to the other side of the house to get the bell.

"What is wrong with you!?" Finn squeaked. "Did the last remaining bit of your brain fall into the swamp? You're not even forming sentences!"

"Well, you know... she's wearing that tight, revealing corset, and she's leaning forward and, you know, right in my face, those round, beautiful..."

"Kasey, you pervert!" Finn yelled. I felt a tiny sting on my face.

"Ow, Finn, did you just slap me?"

"Of course I did! We're here to save the island, not to indulge in your perverted fantasies! Besides, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"I do?"

"Kathy!?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Didn't you go on a date yesterday?"

"Well, yeah, but, I mean, that was just as friends..."

"She likes you! And I've seen how you look at her..." Well, he did have a point. Kathy was a girl from in town. She was a waitress at the bar. I went to the bar most every night. Every time I went there, I'd get an apple cocktail. Eventually, Kathy got used to it and would give me an apple cocktail and a table every time I walked in. Soon we started talking every time I walked in and before I knew it, we were going out on dates. I'm not going to lie, I had quite the thing for her. She was sexy and independent... she liked horses. I remember--

"Here it is~!" the witch interrupted my thoughts. She had a habit of doing that, it seemed. "It was buried in my stuff, but I found it! This is what you want, right?"

I took a glance at Finn to make sure. He nodded. "Yeah, that's it!"

"Then here it is, and I'll take your mushroom." She snatched the Tamtam Mushroom and put it on her shelf. "And, uh, you can be on your way now."

"What, I can't stay and chat?" I asked.

"I've got a lot of magic to catch up on. But, uh... if you want to traverse the whole forest again, you can come out if you really want to. But bring something with you! I'm running low on jam."

Jam? Like cooked fruit in a jar? What does a magic casting witch need with fruit paste? "I'll be back, Madam Witch. You can count on it."